AEW’s Women‘s Division finds itself in a really weird place right now. For the past year and a half or so it’s felt like an afterthought and sorely lacking any attention at all. Now AEW have set up a huge USA vs. Japan 16-women tournament thats got a lot of hype to it, but Shida has been featured on TV barely at all since Double or Nothing still. The talent has improved a lot and they got a great core now with some very good homegrown stars like Nyla Rose, Anna Jay, Abadon, Britt Baker, Leyla Hirsch, Tay Conti etc. So my mission is to take this potential and fully capitalise on it. First we start in present day, and as part of the prompt all disappointing events up until now stay the same. With all that out of the way, here is how I would try and revive the AEW Women’s Championship and Division.
AEW Women’s Eliminator:
Nyla Rose vs. Abadon (February 10th, Dynamite)
Veda Scott makes her return to commentary to team with Excalibur and Tony Schiavone for our women’s eliminator matches tonight, beginning with The Native Beast, Nyla Rose, taking on...as described by Veda, “what do you even call that...” Abadon comes out and haunts Vickie Guerrero but Nyla shows no fear. They both rush each other and it’s a brawl to begin. They soon spill outside where Rose tries to take the monster down using the guardrails, before Vickie exposes the turnbuckle and she slams Abadon into those. She goes for a finisher to end it early, but Abadon counters and the fight is back on. Abadon comes back with a Low Dropkick and Enziguri before clotheslining Nyla out. She throws her into the guardrails this time before setting Rose up on the apron, hanging over the ropes. She dives with a Leg Drop but Nyla moves and she lands flat on the mat. Nyla then hits a Guillotine Knee Drop but only gets a two count. She goes for an Avalanche Powerbomb to end it, but Abadon counters into a Super Rana and lifts both legs of Nyla up to pin her down, 1...2....3. Afterwards Nyla pushes Vickie off when she goes to speak with her.
Abadon defeats Nyla Rose (12:11)
Thunder Rosa vs. Britt Baker (February 10th, Dynamite)
A rematch between these two women here as we unfinished business solved. The match starts with a Big Boot from behind by Baker and from there it’s off to the races. Reba gets a cheap shot from outside after Britt Irish whips Rosa and she keeps going. A roll up is kicked out of but she then flattens Rosa once more. Britt takes it outside where she goes to introduce Rosa to the ring post, but Rosa counters and knocks Britt in instead. She now comes back and uses Reba as a weapon, ducking another shot from her so she hits Britt. Rosa takes a dive to the outside into both men and the fight continues. Britt comes back with some shots to the midsection before taking it outside again, hitting a Snap Suplex onto the floor. That is kicked out of as Rosa flips Britt two birds and throws her around. Baker connects an elbow shot to avoid another flying attack, and goes for a Superplex, but Rosa turns it into an Avalanche Fire Thunder Driver to win and advance. Afterwards she raises her hand and wipes her busted lip, looking deep into the hard cam as Baker is down and out.
Thunder Rosa defeats Britt Baker (10:59)
We see the first segment of Hikaru Shida on this episode, a four part series leading up to Revolution. She is in Japan currently so they are filmed from the Ice Ribbon Dojo. This particular one begins with Shida walking around watching the girls train, and coaching as she looks on. She says in English “they are talented. They will become superstar.” We then move over to a tatami (traditional Japanese room, small with wooden walls, a paper sliding door, no windows etc.) There she sits down and is interviewed about her career with the assist of subtitles. She speaks of her training and relates to the girls she just saw there. She explains how much Ice Ribbon means to her and she’s excited to see their representation in the tournament. It closes with her about her finals days in Japan. She starts to talk about AEW, but it fades out and ends with a “To be continued...”
Leyla Hirsch vs. Riho (February 17th, Dynamite)
Riho returns to AEW for the first time in nearly a full year and is excited to be back in action, but she’s got some steep competition in her corner. Legit Leyla Hirsch walks out ready to kick some ass and take names, throwing the towel on her shoulders into the crowd as she walks and laughing at Riho. “She’s like the size of Leyla’s leg.” Veda says. Tony jumps to Riho’s defence we’ve seen her topple bigger and badder in AEW before, but we’ll have to wait and see. Leyla starts off dominant as she keeps Riho down with her submissions and MMA holds. Riho on occasions looks to mount a comeback but she keeps being knocked back down. Despite this, she keeps getting back up. Out of nowhere she gets a roll up on Leyla to stun her, before a Dropkick knocks her outside. She then does a Flying Crossbody to the floor! The fight is on. Riho uses high speed to fight against the power of Leyla. Hirsch goes for a dangerous Lariat but Riho ducks and hits a Headscissors into an O’Connor Roll to pin and win.
Riho defeats Leyla Hirsch (12:45)
After the match, Tony Schiavone tries to grab an interview with Riho about her win and how it feels to be back. She goes to speak, WHEN SHE’S ATTACKED BY TWO WOMEN! Leyla Hirsch walks up and puts both arms over their shoulders, as commentary reveal it to be Killer Kelly and Lindsay Snow! Excalibur says these two women took part in the Bloodsport Women’s Tournament with Leyla Hirsch months ago, and now they’re here in AEW! Leyla hugs them both Andrew all stand over Riho and walk off.
We then see the next part of Hikaru Shida’s video series. This time begins with her training with some wrestlers, and giving feedback before we go back to the tatami. She says she thinks the girls can be big once more, and name drops a few in particular that she sees as the best. She’s then asked if they could ever expand out of Japan like herself. Shida then leads this off into saying it’s not an easy thing to do. The girls can do it but she did it herself and it’s tough. She then talks about moving to America about a year and a half ago and how she’s felt, how she’s adapted, and what AEW means to her. She details how much it means to her to be here in America and holding the most important title in the world to her. She set out to break boundaries and prove she is the best to the American audience, and she did, having held the title for 9 months. She’s now observing who’s going to stop her, but despite the immense talent - nobody is like her.
Anna Jay vs. Tay Conti (February 17th, Dynamite)
Two best friends clash, with Tay Conti and Anna Jay taking part to face in the next round. Tay offers a handshake but Anna looks away to ignore it. This leaves a bad taste in Tay’s mouth but she pushes on. They lock up and it’s intense, until Tay gains the upper hand. She uses her Judo background to dominate until she tries a Tayogoshi. Anna gets out and gets the cut off. She wrestles with a lot of aggression to the point commentary question that these two women are partners. Anna shows no mercy against Tay with some brutal offence. Conti eventually comes back and applies some vicious submission holds. Tay comes back with a Jumping Knee before a Bicycle Kick off the apron. Anna then hits her with a slam onto the apron and keeps the aggression going. In the climax of the match we saw Tay grab hold of Anna by the wrist and cling on, as they fall forward in exhaustion and rest over each other’s shoulders. Tay wraps an arm around and they hug, until Anna hugs back as she slowly lifts Tay up. They stare into each other’s eyes, continuing to breath heavy, ONLY FOR CONTI TO HIT A BRAZILIAN KICK!! PINS AND WINS!!
Tay Conti defeats Anna Jay (10:47)
Yuka Sakazaki vs. Mei Suruga (February 15th, Super 16)
Exclusively on AEW’s YouTube channel, “The Super 16” is presented live from the Ice Ribbon Dojo. Yuka Sakazaki is someone that AEW fans are familiar with from her various matches on PPV and Dynamite. Since her last AEW appearance she has added more muscle, she's expanded her moveset, and she lost TJPW's top title. Mei Suruga meanwhile is one the smallest and least experienced wrestler in the tournament, being one of Emi Sakura’s many students. She managed to get a clean one on one victory over Hikaru Shida right before Shida left Japan. She's a 21 year old prodigy who's status reaches beyond her experience level. She has Riho’s style mixed with Emi’s influence, for a brief summary. This is a high speed match up, a common style in Joshi, as the two women fly around each other with high risk offence. Yuka does a Springboard to the outside, over the guardrail to take Mei out for a good bit. She mounts a comeback and goes for a finisher to end it, but The Magical Girl reverses and pins to advance forward.
Yuka Sakazaki defeats Mei Suruga (08:46)
VENY vs. Emi Sakura (February 15th, Super 16)
VENY is someone some of you might know as Asuka. No not that Asuka, back in Japan WWE Asuka was known as Kana and the woman now called VENY is now known as Asuka. VENY is a favourite of mine. She can do damn near anything in the ring, she's extremely charismatic, and is in her prime as one of the top indie wrestlers in Japan."Veny" was supposed to debut in America during Wrestlemania weekend 2020, but the pandemic put a stop to that. This tournament is going to be her introduction to western fans. Meanwhile Emi Sakura is someone AEW fans probably know after her match with Riho at Full Gear. Since her last AEW appearance, she's been surviving the pandemic in her own little corner of the wrestling world by regularly producing Youtube wrestling shows(ChocoPro). In recent months, she's been slimming down to more of her natural weight which helps her with speed and her noted back problems. She’s now faster and better than when AEW fans last saw her. This is a technical match up with the two women indulging a game of wits, trading submissions and holds. She goes to use her new found quickness but VENY matches ever at that and puts her down to advance forward.
VENY defeats Emi Sakura (14:32)
Maki Itoh vs. Ryo Mizunami (February 15th, Super 16)
Maki Itoh is one of my favourite wrestlers right now and that’s not a joke. She’s the most popular wrestler in the field and someone that Joshi fans have been waiting to see crossover to the west more often for the last couple of years. She's insanely charismatic. She's a limited athlete, but she's an excellent storyteller and shines in singles matches. She’s only worked Mania weekend in the States so far but we’re hoping to see that change. Mizunami then has worked AEW before, but that was such a long time ago that AEW fans have probably forgotten her. She's a veteran with an extremely high level of charisma and she will chop the soul out of you. Primarily a brawler, but also has that charisma to work this kind of match. This is set to be our character matchup as Maki and Ryo square up, with Itoh crediting herself as “I AM DEITY OF SHIT”. She credits “Cornette-san” as her biggest fan. They then go at it. Ryo dominates Itoh until the comeback, when she catches Mizunami out of nowhere with a Flying Hurricanerana to win.
Maki Itoh defeats Ryo Mizunami (08:41)
Aja Kong vs. Rin Kadokura (February 15th, Super 16)
Main event of the evening and it’s looking like a doozy folks. First we have Aja Kong, easily the most legendary name in the tournament. She's 34 years into her career and still going. While we aren’t expecting to see the Kong that was battling Bull Nakano in the 90s, she is still a very smart veteran and she is still willing to taking some crazy bumps in the right occasion. She’s wrestled in both WWF (Survivor Series 1995) and AEW (Double or Nothing 2019) so she’s no stranger to the big stage. Rin meanwhile is most comparable to Shibata. She doesn't have a huge western fanbase, and she's not a big personality, but she's the Joshi version of "a wrestler's wrestler" and is capable of having the best match of the tournament. She comes Marvelous who are basically the Ring of Honor of Joshi. They are more physical and technically sound than TJPW or Ice Ribbon. Rin and Aja have a stiff and brutal matchup with terrifying strikes from the two women. Aja keeps kicking out of what’s thrown at her, not allowing to go down to a younger girl. Aja misses a Senton off the apron and hits the floor which allows Kadokura to win. Afterwards they hug as we fade to black.
Rin Kadokura defeats Aja Kong (15:22)
Quarter-Finals:
Riho vs. Tay Conti (February 24th, Dynamite)
Into the quarter finals we go as Revolution is fast approaching, and kicking it off is these two women. Both are top babyfaces, with Conti having just come out of her emotional war with Anna Jay and Riho suffering at the hands of Leyla Hirsch’s squad. They shake hands to begin and we’re set. Tay has expressed interest in wrestling in Japan before, so this is her forte into the Joshi world. Once everything’s back to normal I’d really like to see her hold the SWA World Championship in Stardom, and potentially face Riho again for it. Riho uses her speed to take Tay down, at one point dropkicking her off the apron and she falls into the guardrail, where Anna Jay sits. Anna looks at her coldly as Tay gets back up, ONLY TO BE HIT BY A BACKSTABBER BY RIHO! SHE COVERS AND WINS!! Riho advances forward to the semi-finals, while Conti stares back, equally as cold, at Anna Jay.
Riho defeats Tay Conti (07:01)
We see the third segment of Hikaru Shida in her tatami speaking of her story. She goes into detail about Corona hitting and being stuck in America, and how she felt about that. She says all that mattered then was the AEW Women’s World Championship. So much stuff was happening back home in Japan in the Joshi world (death of Hana Kimura), and she needed to topple The Beast, Nyla Rose. She describes the match, says it’s the most physical she’s ever been in, describing each painful bump and how after every move she was more worn down. But she refused to lose, and came out on top. Since then she’s carried this belt, and hadn’t dropped it. Despite the level of talent in the Super 16, no one has the talent to defeat her.
Abadon vs. Thunder Rosa (February 24th, Dynamite)
Last quarter final now, with the winner going on to face Riho in the semi’s. Thunder Rosa - having defeated Britt Baker, and Abadon - having defeated Nyla Rose. Abadon screams at Rosa to begin but she’s unphased, shouting back and the two meet forehead to forehead. They then start trading shots as the match begins. It spills outside where they continue to brawl messily. Abadon hits a Bloodline onto the floor followed by some biting. She goes for a Twist of Hate on the apron, but Rosa counters into a Cutter! They both sell before going back inside. Abadon runs for a Spear but when it’s leapfrogged, she hits a Headbutt and then runs the ropes again. She connects the Spead this time and covers, but it’s kicked out of. They go back outside where they fight up the ramp. Rosa dives with a Double Foot Stomp before they head up to the announce table. They fight there, and Rosa hits an Inverted DDT on it. Abadon rolls into the announcers chairs and lays there. Once back in, Rosa goes for a Snake Sleeper, but Abadon kicks her leg back and fights back. She throws Rosa into the ring post to bust her open. She calls for a Gravedigger, BUT ITS REVERSED INTO A FIRE THUNDER DRIVER!! ROSA PINS AND GOES TO SEMIS!!
Thunder Rosa defeats Abadon (16:11)
Maki Itoh vs. VENY (February 22nd, Super 16)
Heading into the Japan half of the quarter finals, we travel across the Pacific to the Ice Ribbon dojo once more. Itoh talks shit before the bell as VENY stands stone faced wondering what’s she did in a past life to be in the opposite corner of this. She goes to speak about Cornette-san once more but VENY cuts her off and the match has begun. She dominates the early stages until Maki out of nowhere counters a Suplex into a Falling DDT. She hits a Dropkick off the apron and VENY eats shit. Maki applies a Boston Crab, but VENY gets the ropes and flips Itoh out. She big boots her and is back on the offence. They take it to the apron where Itoh goes to pick VENY up, but VENY knocks her down and they roll back inside. Maki goes for a Ito Special but it’s reversed, and VENY goes for a Powerbomb. Itoh reverses that into a Itoh Royale, which is kicked out and they double down with stereo dropkicks. Maki climbs the top ropes for a Diving Headbutt, but VENY quickly runs up and hits a Superplex. She pins and wins to advance forward into the semis.
VENY defeats Maki Itoh (09:18)
Rin Kadokura vs. Yuka Sakazaki (February 22nd, Super 16)
Yuka runs around Rin to begin with, using her quickness to avoid being caught by any strikes or holds. This proves unsuccessful as after running the ropes for a Flying Shoulder Tackle, she’s hit with a stiff elbow in midair to knock Yuka down. This is the cut off as she dominates from this point forward. Rin goes for a Meteora from the middle ropes, BUT YUKA HITS A FRONT DROPKICK OUT OF MIDAIR!! She scales the top ropes and FLIES WITH A CROSSBODY!! KICK OUT! Yuka continues to run circles before taking Rin to the apron. She then jumps from inside, over the ropes, WITH A HURRICANERANA TO THE FLOOR!! The Magical Girl is back in action as she hits a Baseball Slide Dropkick into the railings. She rolls out to grab Kadokura but Rin throws her into the guardrails instead. She takes control back and does a Lala Histro Cradle into a Cross Armbreaker but Yuka gets a foot on the ropes. She manages to rally up for a huge flurry of offence to take Rin down and cover after a Magical Girl Splash, 1.......2......3! She’s going to the semi-finals where she will face VENY.
Yuka Sakazaki defeats Rin Kadokura (11:45)
We get a live performance from the Itoh Respect Army - Maki Itoh and Mizuki perform live in living colour a rock idol anthem. This gives Yuka a rest before the main event of the evening, the Semi-Finals match between Yuka Sakazaki and VENY. Itoh and Mizuki hype everyone up with the performance ahead of the big match, before the music stops and they leave. That’s when VENY walks out.
Semi-Finals:
VENY vs. Yuka Sakazaki (February 22nd, Super 16)
She walks down menacingly with pure seriousness on her face. There is no fucking around here. She’s winning this tournament. Yuka meanwhile is as happy as can be. Yuka high fives everyone and jumps down in joy. They shake hands, but immediately after the bell rings VENY immediately kicks Yuka down and dominates. Yuka is tired while VENY is relatively fresh having only wrestled the opener. She dominates until it heads to the outside. She goes to slam Yuka into the railings, but Sakazaki reverses and dumps her over. She then hits a Springboard Flying Seated Senton, over the railings, into VENY. She mounts her comeback and hits for the Magical Girl Splash, BUT ITS KICKED OUT OF! Yuka starts having to match VENY’s strikes, as once VENY starts laying them in, Yuka becomes impervious to pain and fights back with her own. It turns into a slugfest here, but after a Diving Double Foot Stomp from Yuka only gets two she’s out of options. VENY capitalises here and looks to finish with a Powerbomb, BUT ITS TURNED INTO A FRANKENSTEINER! MAGICAL GIRL SPLASH! YUKA IS GOING TO THE FINALS!!
Yuka Sakazaki defeats VENY (19:21)
On March 3rd, Dynamite, we see the final of Hikaru’s segment, starting with her rolling a suitcase while wearing a mask as she walks to her plane back to America. We go back to the tatami where she’s asked about Revolution, and what she thinks of Yuka Sakazaki. She speaks on her before being asked about Riho and Thunder Rosa. She speaks about Rosa and their feud, saying she’s beaten her before though at last years All Out. The interviewer asks about the All Out the year before that. Who did she face then. Did she win? Shida seems insulted by that but keeps going, saying Riho got the better of her. But while she’s spent the past year back home, she made a new home - AEW. And she is now the queen of that home, and no amount of Riho will stop.
Riho vs. Thunder Rosa (March 3rd, Dynamite)
We’ve reached our American semi-finals, and 5 days after Yuka Sakazaki’s defeat of VENY - Riho and Thuhder Rosa are set to main event Dynamite. On Saturday Night then, the day before Revolution, we will see the Super 16 Finals streamed on YouTube between Yuka Sakazaki and the winner of this match, with the winner going on to face Hikaru Shida at Revolution. The match starts physical and doesn’t slow down. They go to the mat straight away and trade submission attempts. Rosa then dominates until Riho counters out of a corner charge with a roll up only to get two. Rosa punishes Riho using the ring post. Riho fights back though as she flies off the apron and uses speed to keep Rosa down. She goes for a springboard but is caught midair. Rosa then starts to kick the shit out of Riho, striking her repeatedly. It spills to the floor where Riho mounts a comeback, utilising the ring post to her own advantage this time. With Rosa tied up in the post, Riho runs off the apron with a Double Foot Stomp to the back. It goes into back and forth inside the ring, before Riho flies out once more. Rosa is up first and sets up a table, before they go back inside. Commentary note the No DQ on the outside rule. RIHO HITS A DOUBLE FOOT STOMP TO ROSA OFF THE APRON THROUGH THE TABLE!! They’re both out now, but while down, OUT COMES BRITT BAKER!! SHE HITS ROSA WITH A CHAIR! Riho doesn’t notice as she takes her back inside and covers to win! Britt walks off with a smile on her face, and waves at a fuming Rosa.
Riho defeats Thunder Rosa (23:41)
Finals:
Riho vs. Yuka Sakazaki (March 6th, Super 16)
The Magical Girl comes down happy as ever, high fiving and hugging fans and running circles around the ring in ecstasy. Riho then comes out in her signature dress and also with an umbrella with the Imperial Japanese Flag designed on it. Both women offer their hands to each other, and both embrace before locking up. A collar and elbow is engaged and maintained, Yuka breaks the chains by connecting a Dropkick, followed by another Basement Dropkick! Riho ducks a Lariat attempt and runs the ropes, performing a dizzying array of spins before landing the Tornado DDT! 1.....2....Yuka kicks out! Yuka runs the ropes and hits a Seated Senton in the centre of the ring. She goes for a cover but Riho kicks out. Riho takes Yuka down with a Half Crab. Yuka winces in pain and cries in agony but throws Riho off her leg. Yuka then hits a Slingblade and rolls to the outside.
Riho connects a Baseball Slide Dropkick through the both ropes, before lifting Yuka up and hitting an incredible Deadlift Suplex into the middle of the ring. Excalibur makes note of Riho being 98 lbs so that feat of strength is truly incredible. Yuka connects an Enziguri and begins a Three Amigos. Riho flips out of the last one and hits a Roundhouse Kick followed by Double Foot Stomp! She covers, 1.......2....Kick Out! Riho seems annoyed at this and takes Yuka to the corner. They trade elbows for a bit before Yuka swaps them around and hits a Roundhouse Kick! She then takes Riho to the top turnbuckle. Yuka attempts to hit a Avalanche Butterfly Suplex, but Riho doesn’t move. Riho shoves Yuka onto the apron and Yuka grabs her back in pain. Riho then hits a Diving Double Foot Stomp onto the apron! That receives a holy shit chant as Riho throws her back into the ring and goes to cover.
Yuka rolls into a Fujiwara Armbar! She channels her inner Zack Sabre Jr. and begins to stomp on Riho’s head as she has the submission locked in. Riho rolls forward into a School Boy but Yuka kicks out. Yuka rolls back but is met by a Basement Dropkick! Riho then hits a Northern Lights Suplex! She goes to cover but Yuka rolls out. Yuka whips Riho to the apron. She hits a Dragon Screw on the ropes and connects a Baseball Slide Dropkick! Yuka goes for a Half and Half Suplex on the apron, but Riho gets out and hits a Belly to Back Suplex! Right on the hardest part of the ring as Yuka sells the pain. Riho rolls back into the ring, but is met by a Springboard Front Missile Dropkick by Yuka! Yuka then heads to the top ropes and does a magical pose, Diving Double Foot Stomp! 1........2.....KICK OUT!!! Yuka is now desperate and decides, “fuck it”, and begins a frenzy of attacks.
Any and everything used. Yuka hits a Running Meteora! She goes for another but Riho catches with an Enziguri and then hits a Running Double Foot Stomp! She picks Yuka up and hits a German Suplex but Yuka lands on her feet; Half and Half Suplex! Yuka hits a Slingblade and begins a series of Daniel Bryan like Roundhouses, with a few yes chants thrown in from the audience. She keeps going until Riho ducks one and hits a Bicycle Knee! Yuka responds with a Bicycle Kick! Riho hits an Impaler DDT!!! She gets the crowd going and goes for an Exploder Suplex, but Yuka counters into a Backbody Drop! Yuka then hits the Exploder Suplex followed by a Pendelum Kick! She takes Riho to the top ropes and goes for an Avalanche Butterfly Suplex! RIHO COUNTERS MIDAIR IN A ROLL UP!! 1......2.....3!!!! Riho is going to face Hikaru Shida tomorrow night for the AEW Women’s World Championship!
Riho defeats Yuka Sakazaki (10:17)
AEW Revolution 2021:
Anna Jay vs. Britt Baker vs. Tay Conti vs. Thunder Rosa - Four-way Match
AEW’s Women’s International Eliminator Tournament has come and gone, and with it many women have some grudges held. Thunder Rosa was cost the semi-finals with Riho after Britt Baker interference. This is of course, due to Rosa beating Britt in the First Round. Also, Anna Jay and Tay Conti faced in the First Round where Conti was successful. That drove a wedge between them as we’ve seen. There is enough tension where we need a resolution, and so they’re all put into a match together - whoever is the best comes out on top. The Four-way is made for Revolution, with the winner set to be Shida or Riho’s next challenger in the coming weeks. However before the match, we see Brandi Rhodes come out for the first time in 2 months. She has a mic in hand and says that two years ago there was a similar multi-women match set. That was the during the genesis of AEW. A three-way became a four-way. Now we know how talented of a roster the AEW Women’s Division is, but what if it could be blustered?
Well she’s got the perfect solution to that. How could she make this match even more stacked however? Easy answer, add another women. But not just any women...a Virtuosa. So with a little helping hand, she’s secured someone to really put up a fight. Outcomes Deonna Purazzo. The current Knockouts Champion makes her way out and joins the fray. The crowd applaud loudly at the surprise arrival, as this match is now made a Five-way. Immediately the beefing girls go for each other, Britt and Rosa and Tay and Anna. Deonna meanwhile just picks people off, playing it smart and looking for the win. She’s not fuelled by animosity like the rest, she is just being intelligent. We see the rest of the women all take themselves out to the point Britt turns around into a Jumping DDT and Fujiwara Armbar. She taps out and Purazzo wins the match. She takes the mic afterwards and hoists her Knockouts Championship high. “Who’s ready for a Battle of the Belts?” she says before leaving.
Deonna Purazzo defeats Anna Jay, Britt Baker, Tay Conti and Thunder Rosa (11:17)
Hikaru Shida (c) vs. Riho - AEW Women’s World Championship
We’ve seen the whole tournament so far and the mini-doc of Hikaru Shida. It’s the first majorly built AEW Women’s Championship PPV match...ever, so it’s got some expectations on its shoulders. Shida walks out wearing her attire from the AEW video game trailer, pointed out by Excalibur. Riho is just coming off a match from last night while Shida hasn’t wrestled in nearly a month, so she is fully in control early on. She busts out some early signature moves so the audience get a groove of her once more since it’s been a minute. They go outside where Riho starts to come back and from there it’s back and forth. They recreate the finishing sequence that won it for Riho last time, ending with Riho getting a roll up originally, but this time Shida kicks out! They then keep going as Riho kicks out of a few more moves by Hikaru. Riho goes for a Diving Double Foot Stomp, but she’s hit midair and then by a Tamashii no Three Count! KICK OUT!! They keep fighting as Riho once more tries for the finishing sequence that won it for her last time, but this time it ends when Shida lifts her into a Falcon Arrow! 1..............2..............3!! She wins and retains!
Hikaru Shida defeats Riho (14:56)
We now head into the build for Double or Nothing. However we aren’t all building towards that. See, it’s announced at Revolution a supercard of supercards is set for April 4th. The “Bloodshed Supercard” is coming up, pitting stars from AEW, NJPW, NWA and Impact against one another. The big match advertised is a Lethal Lockdown Match: pitting Kenny Omega, The Good Brothers and Kenta against Jon Moxley and Death Triangle. But also set for the show, we’ll get into detail here. Deonna Purazzo is now the #1 Contender to the AEW Women’s World Championship, and an appearance by her is advertised for the Dynamite after Revolution. She shows up and cuts a typical promo of hers on Hikaru, claiming herself the one true Virtuosa and hyping her credentials. These outmatch everything Shida has ever done, and when they face, she’ll truly outmatch her for all to see.
The match is dubbed “Battle of the Belts” after AEW trademarked that. Knockouts Champion vs. AEW Women’s World Champion. Next week Shida goes to speak, but she’s cut off by Deonna. Purazzo attacks her and beats down the rival champion. She tells Shida she should of stayed in Japan, because now she’s crossed the Pacific she’s in HER country. The Virtuosa runs the place here, and she is going to cement herself as the best champion in the entire country - nay, the world. Later in the night when asked about how she felt of the attack, Hikaru says “Next Tuesday. Impact Wrestling. Watch me.” before leaving. Then, on Impact, we see Hikaru come out after a Ten-person Knockouts Tag Team Match. She looks around with her title, and walks over to the captain of the winning team, Kiera Hogan. She shakes her hand and points back and forth between the two. Kiera vs. Shida is sanctioned for next week on Impact.
They face, but due to Hikaru now being in Deonna’s house, she makes her presence known with an attack. Part of rebuilding the Women’s division is other feuds need to exist in it, so let’s touch on those. Firstly, Leyla Hirsch and her new stable, dubbing themselves “Bloodsport” have made an enemy out of Riho. The two face with the stipulation that the winner will face Serena Deeb for the NWA Women’s Championship. Hirsch wins after making Riho tap. Then in her match with Deeb, a returning Allysin Kay comes out and interferes. Deeb rolls up with her distraction. Leyla doesn’t attack Kay however. After all, she was the fourth women in that Bloodsport tournament along with Hirsch, Kelly and Snow. They offer her a spot but Allysin declines and says she just wants that NWA Women’s Championship back. A Three-way then is made, which ends with Kay pinning Deeb. She gets her title back, and afterwards, offers an embrace to Hirsch. Snow and Kelly get her to accept.
Bloodsport pose together with Allysin Kay now in their rankings, but tension between her and Hirsch is clear after Kay just took the title she’s been craving for weeks. However, they’re now a unit. Also, Anna Jay and Tay Conti. Anna takes a leadership role in The Dark Order as her and Conti slowly start patching things up. They both agree they got lost in the tournament and were drunk off the thought of glory. They hug it out and walk out together. Then, Thunder Rosa and Britt Baker. The first thing we see on Dynamite after Revolution is Thunder Rosa brutalising Britt Baker. She destroys her. She kayfabe reinjures her and puts her back on crutches. Britt doesn’t wrestle after this but has a vendetta against Rosa, and Rosa is likewise. The women all have feuds, with only one revolving around the title, and they actually get TV time on Dynamite. It’s basically just what AEW do with the guys, but the gender is changed. That’s literally how you do women’s wrestling.
Bloodshed Supercard:
Deonna Purrazzo vs. Hikaru Shida - Battle of the Belts
The singles match main event of the show, it’s the heavily anticipated “Battle of the Belts.” Shida is out first, wearing a kimono and carrying her own umbrella to the ring. She twirls it around at the hard camera in a optical illusion before walking down. Deonna is out afterwards and the Virtuosa walks with purpose, hoisting her title over Shida’s head. Hikaru hoists hers up and they meet forehead to forehead. The match the begins. Shida and Deonna trade goods and submissions on the mat before it goes outside and gets physical there. Purrazzo uses the guardrails and ring posts, before taking it to the apron. Shida hits her with a Superkick and runs the ropes inside the ring, dropkicking Purrazzo into part of the set. Once back up they have some stiff back and forth with a lot of shots and strikes to knock the other down. Both women keep kicking out however. We see many moments when Hikaru looks like she’s about to tap but resists and keeps fighting. They head outside once again where Deonna hits a Backbody Drop onto the floor. Once back inside, Shida hits a Falcon Arrow into a Tamashii no Three Count to win. Afterwards her and Deonna resiliently shake hands in respect.
Hikaru Shida defeats Deonna Purrazzo (25:10)
Heading out of Bloodshed Supercard, Britt Baker and Thunder Rosa are still battling it out. Britt is set to return to action on the April 14th edition of Dynamite, where she will face Rosa in a No Disqualification, No Countout Match. It’s a brutal bout with Britt showing the aggression she did in her Tooth and Nail Match on Rosa. She ends up winning after a chairshot and kendo stick assisted Lockjaw makes Rosa pass out. Meanwhile, Hikaru Shida continues her trail of dominance over the AEW Women’s division. She’s earned the respect of Deonna Purazzo’s who’s gonna back off to Impact. Shida cuts a promo in English after the match saying she wants more of the Knockouts, and they are an amazing group of girls. She once again faces Kiera Hogan, this time on Dynamite, with interference banned. They have a clean bout that ends with Shida once again winning. They shake hands afterwards. This is Hogan’s first AEW match and she makes a big splash, but comes up short.
Next in line is Nyla Rose, who is still with Vickie Guerrero but their relationship is going very sour. Nonetheless, as we approach a year after Hikaru took the belt from Nyla, they’re set to face one more - this time it’s 2 Out of 3 Falls. It’s an excellent bout that ends with Shida winning by falling onto Nyla after the two basically kill themselves. Nyla the next week cuts a promo on Shida, saying she wants one final shot, and if she loses - she will never challenge for the title while Shida is champion again. This is when Britt Baker gets involved and puts her stamp on the picture. She limps down on a crutch as that match with Rosa as temporarily hurt her again. She cuts a mini promo of her own, before blasting Nyla with the crutch. A #1 Contenders Match is set up, with the winner going on to face Hikaru at Double or Nothing.
Britt wins after a very hard fought and brutal contest. Afterwards, Tony Schiavone comes out and reads a letter from Brandi. She congratulates both women on the incredible match. She then announces Nyla as the first women to take part in the AEW Women’s Casino Ladder Match at Double or Nothing. In the final weeks before Double or Nothing, Britt cuts some very passionate promos about the struggle she’s went through to even become a wrestler, and as soon as she became the best thing in this company she was injured. But this time, nothing is going to stop her. She’s not going to be hindered by dentistry, not by trying to being a good guy, and not by injury. She will be victorious. Reba is banned from ringside, as if she gets involved Britt automatically loses. Baker is now fuelled by anger as she wants to take down the unstoppable Hikaru Shida.
Then, our other stories. Well the premier one is the aforementioned Women’s Casino Ladder Match. Once more it’s decided there’s too much beef amongst the AEW Women’s division, so Tony Khan’s solution is to throw nine of them into a ladder match, and whoever isn’t dead by the end gets an AEW Women’s Championship shot. And just like last time, there will be a mystery participant. Women gradually get announced via AEW’s Twitter, with Nyla Rose as the first on TV before they slowly start adding names to the field, like they did last year. Anna Jay and Tay Conti are announced together, Serena Deeb, Leyla Hirsch, Riho etc. Thunder Rosa and Abadon face once more after their epic match in the Super 16. Abadon hits a Spear into part of the stage which takes them both out and it goes to a double countout. Both women are then put into the match, with the ninth women remaining a mystery.
Double or Nothing 2021:
Abadon vs. Anna Jay vs. Leyla Hirsch vs. Nyla Rose vs. Riho vs. Serena Deeb vs. Tay Conti vs. Thunder Rosa vs. ??? - Women’s Casino Ladder Match
Serena Deeb and Nyla Rose start it off hot, Nyla trying to dominate but Deeb using her strength to counteract. Tay Conti comes in and her and Deeb come to a babyface arrangement to take the big women down. Thunder Rosa follows suit and starts to mix it up with everyone. Leyla Hirsch, Anna Jay, Riho and Abadon all come out and continue the fight. It’s multi-man chaos, with each women sabotaging the other from getting that poker chip. They all want the prize. Killer Kelly at one point tries to walk down and help out Hirsch, but Riho valiantly takes her on and brawls with her to the back. She then dives off the stage with a Crossbody into Lindsay Snow and Killer Kelly. Allysin Kay comes out and puts her through a part of the stage to take her out.
Riho comes back, freshly bruised by Kay, and looks to climb the ladder, but Anna Jay pushes her down. She then starts to taunt and mock the 9th and final entrant while she waits for them to appear...and it’s RETURNING KRIS STATLANDER! Statlander comes in and wrecks house; takes out all the people involved while the action continues. Abadon lets out a mighty scream as she goes to climb the ladder. Tay and Anna push her off and meet at the top. They then start throwing shots at each other. They all fall under Thunder Rosa pushes them off and climbs up, grabbing the poker chip and holding it high it in triumph. She now with a future AEW Women’s World Championship match locked in. She takes the mic and tells Hikaru “good luck - you’ll need it.” before dropping it and heading to the back.
Thunder Rosa wins the Women’s Casino Ladder Match (16:35)
Hikaru Shida (c) vs. Britt Baker - AEW Women’s World Championship
Baker comes out without Reba for the first time in a long time, pure determination on her face to succeed. Both women put their heart and soul into the match, pouring every last bit of fight they’ve got in. Britt gets a Lockjaw in near the end and refuses to let go when Shida grabs the ropes. The ref has to physically pull her off, ONLY FOR SHIDA TO HIT ONE FINAL TAMASHII NO THREE COUNT!! She pins and wins.
Hikaru Shida defeats Britt Baker (10:21)

Live Poker Questions and etiquette

[Table] I am Dave Plummer, author of Windows Task Manager, Zip Folders, and worked on Space Cadet Pinball, Media Center, Windows Shell, MS-DOS, OLE32, WPA, and more. (pt 1/2)

Source
Note: Based on observing question-taker's profile, he is still taking answers, so two parts may or may not completely summarize the AMA.

Questions	Answers
Space Cadet Pinball, how does it feel to be the most played "bring your child to work day" game? I remember it fondly.	The best part is that I used to "teach" computer lab when my kids were in K through 6th grades, back when Pinball was still included and well known. The kids could care less about anything technically hard or interesting that I'd worked on, of course, but Pinball gave me instant street cred with them.
	Especially cool was being able to walk over and enter a secret code that only I knew that would turn on all the cheats, like infinite lives. They thought I was a wizard at that age!
	The code, by the way, is "hidden test" without the quotes! Then various keys do different things, you can click and drag the ball around, and so on. Google it for the gory details!
	I always like to point out that I was working with a full set of original IP from Maxis, so I had nothing to do with the design of the game, or it's art, etc... that was all done! My contribution was volunteering to port it, including a partial rewrite from asm to C, to work on MIPS, Alpha, PowerPC, IA64, ARM, and so on, which was actually a lot of work. But I got it into the Windows box, which is how and why everyone knows it today. But all credit for the gameplay and so on goes to Maxis, all I did was not screw it up in that case!
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To add a bit of detail re Space Cadet Pinball: we built Space Cadet originally at my company Cinematronics and did a deal with Microsoft to ship it with the Plus Pack that accompanied Win 95 and Win 98. While it technically didn't ship w/ Windows, the Plus Pack had something like a 25% attach rate and pinball wound up on most systems anyway. Microsoft actually had an option in our original contract from 1994 to ship it with the OS itself or the Plus Pack. Maxis was our publisher for the subsequent retail version, and later bought my company. More germane to this thread: I believe Dave's port entered the picture a few years later, after Win 98, and was likely critical to pinball continuing to ship on later iterations of the Windows OS (i.e. 32-bit). I definitely appreciate the time he put in to give the game extra years of life on the Windows platform. Kevin Gliner, game designer and producer for 3D Pinball, and co-founder of Cinematronics.	Pleased to FINALLY put a name to the game design! You should update the Wikipedia article for the game, as I think it lists Matt Ridgway, who might have been sound? I've been crediting Maxis for years, not knowing the role of Cinematronics who was who. One thing that confused me: wasn't there a company that did video games in the 80s called Cinematronics? Any relation? Star Castle, Armor Attack, etc...
	As for timing, this likely between the Win95 and Win98 Plus! packs. It was very early on at least, and shipped at least in NT4, and perhaps earlier in "SUR" release that ran atop NT 3.51, but I don't have access to any source files to check dates!
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I keep meaning to fix that wikipedia article, there's a significant number of people that worked on the game and for some reason only Matt (an independent sound guy who did some excellent part-time contract work for us) is listed. There's also a lot of confusion about the timing of various releases and the companies involved, and who owns it now (EA). I actually have all the original source, although no rights to any of it anymore. Hard to say on the timing of the port. I was working in Redmond in '99 when I got word someone had done an NT4 and Win2000 port (I'm assuming that was you), so that was the first time the port showed up on my radar. I have a more confident memory (and contracts, email, etc) of all the events related to how pinball came about and the first couple years after it was released. I like to think pinball was the very first Win95 game (it was fun to watch Gates and Leno pretend to play it on stage at the Win95 launch event), but of course there were other games that shipped with the launch too. You're correct, there was an 80s arcade game company called Cinematronics that went out of business long before we started in 1994, and someone had let the trademark lapse. How we came to be called Cinematronics is a long story for another time...	NT shipped in 96, so the version I did for it would have been done in 95. I remember working on it about the time Win9X was shipping or in late beta. I could be wrong on that part, but Nov 95 would be my guess.
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Damn dude, porting assembly? You are a legend!	Thanks - we actually did all of our debugging in assembler. We didn't have any source-level or line-level debugging at all (except as noted below). So you'd connect to a machine through an ssh-like tool and then, if the symbols were right, you could get a callstack and inspect memory, disassemble functions, and so on. But since we spent much of our day staring at assembly, I became reasonably adept at it.
	I say "reasonably" as I was lazy enough that I would compile the components of interest to me with Visual Studio PDB symbols so that, if I could repro on my own machine, I could then source-level debug it. That made me fast at some stuff that others were slow at, but I likely never got as proficient at asm debugging as someone who never had an alternative. I had a developer friend named Bob whom was an ntsd (our debugger) superstar, and he'd write expressions inside of breakpoints to fire conditionally, that kind of thing. So I did learn that trick, but I'm sure there were dozens I just never knew.
	That all said, we rarely if ever coded in assembly. All coding was in C/C++.
	In the Pinball case, parts of the original were written in hand-coded in asm by Maxis, like the sound engine, and wouldn't have had a hope of working on anything but an x86. Rather than be lame and not have sound on the RISC platforms, I opted to rewrite that stuff in C so that it was portable.
	The RISC platforms also bring their own set of problems like 32-bit alignment for data. And being on Windows NT (now just "Windows") meant being Unicode, but fortunately there isn't a TON of text in a pinball game!
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boytekka: damn, the only time that I did assembly language is when we tried moving a small machine through the printer port.. I miss those days LordApocalyptica: Only time I did assembly was when I wanted to make a game on my TI-84, and decided that I didn't want to. I miss those days too.	First game I wrote in assembly I did in a machine language monitor on my C64. You can't (easily) relocate 6502 so to add code you'd have to jump out, do stuff, and jump back... Crazy!
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If I can ask a question, how does it feels to go from coding with basically zero help to working with modern IDE and code editors that give you a lot of infos, tips, error notifications and so on? I've started programming like a year ago from zero, and I don't think I could be able to program like y'all did 20 years ago or more. Thanks for doing this AMA anyways!	You're very welcome! The progression in tools has been amazing, really. I remember HESMON and my first machine language monitors for the PET and C64, then really nice ROM dev environments, and CygnusEd for the Amiga... all the way up to PlatformIO and Visual Studio Code.
	My most recent "WOW" moment was adding a line to my lib_deps line in platformio, which magically included the library being developed at the URL on github. So you can link to online projects... cool.
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Just wanted to say thanks for the Alpha port!	Alpha AXP was by far the hardest to debug! "Branch later, maybe"
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I just want to thank you for my first experience with pinball. I am now a top 100 competitive pinball player and own 16 pinball machines.	That's cool, which do you collect primarily? I was always a fan of Williams, and am FB friends with a couple of their older devs like Steve Ritchie, Larry DeMar, and Eugene Jarvis (but I should be careful, Bill Gates warned me never to name drop :-) )
	I have a Black Knight 2000 as my own machine right now!
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I have a wide range. Some modern Sterns like Metallica, Jurassic Park, Tron and Iron Maiden. Older Bally’s like Frontier and Fathom. 2 classic Bally/Williams Dr Who and Attack From Mars. Plus a few EMs. I like them all! Attack From Mars was the game that got me into the physical world of pinball. Collecting has been more of a recent pandemic thing since I can’t go out and play. I miss traveling around the country playing in big tournaments. Oh yeah and Steve Ritchie is quite the character. You must meet him some day. I’ve met him a few times and each time has earned a place in my pinball stories I talk about with friends.	Congrats on the collection, that's a nice set! I've never met Steve - I did meet Larry DeMar in vegas. I was playing at a slot machine and he was next to me, and had a name tag, and I was like... "Excuse me sir, but does the word Robotron mean anything?" and it turned out to be him!
Asking as someone pretty new in software development, did you experience impostor syndrome? If so, how did you deal with it?	My first couple of years were very productive, so I wasn't insecure about my output, but even so I definitely experienced imposter syndrome. I think most people who achieve aspirational roles do... I have a friend who was in the NFL who describes the same feeling.
	Being as productive as your peers is sort of the pre-requisite, and if that's true, then remind yourself that when you were in fifth grade, the eighth graders on the playground seemed so old and mature! It's odd in that I started in 1993, but to me anyone who started in the 80s was a "true" Old Timer and remains so in my head to this day. And similarly I'm no doubt the grizzled veteran to people I hired a few years later.
	I know when I started I felt like the dumbest guy in the room, and by the end I felt like the smartest guy in the room, and I don't think I'd gotten any smarter along the way. So it's all relative and perception. Well, that and the stock caused some serious attrition of the "really smart"!
	I remember visiting Google a couple of years ago in the bathrooms they had posters that read "YOU ARE NOT AN IMPOSTER", and info about seminars and so on about it, so it's very common! I wish I had a concrete strategy for you, but I don't other than "It's commonplace, and I bet there are a ton of resources on the Web. Don't be surprised you're experiencing it!"
What would you encourage someone to start learning today related to your field?	I'm learning React at the moment. Let's face it, the web development experience is utter nonsense. So I kept hoping for something that would make it clean, and easy to make components, and to work with REST apis. So I went looking for a solution. Then I read about Angular, and it seemed like "too much" to learn for the sake of making a SPA.
	But React seems understandable enough and solves a ton of problems with web development, not the least of which is being able to intermingle HTML and Javascript (via JSX).
	As for languages, I'd probably start with Python. I prototyped a complicated LED system a couple of years ago and it was admirable what it could accomplish for an interpreted language. And you probably have to know modern Javascript as well.
Now, would you be rather interested in working for windows, macos or linux ?	I work in all three. For my own projects I write to the ASP.NET Core 3.1, and that's available on Windows, Mac, and Linux. I originally wrote my LED server to it under MacOS, then moved it to Windows with about 5 minutes of changes (related to the consoles being somewhat different). Then I moved it to Linux, where I made it work and then containerized it with Docker. I got it up and running on my Raspberry Pi and in a Windows HyperV and under WSL using Ubuntu. To me that kind of stuff is super cool.
	Once I had it working in a Docker container I deployed it to my Synology NAS, which is some variant of Linux. So my NAS runs my Christmas lights!
	I love stuff like that when it works!
	My main workstation is a Dell monitor that has an internal KVM. I have a 2013 Mac Pro connected to it, which is maxed out and then has an eGPU and eRAID setup via Thunderbolt. And then I have a 3970X Windows PC connected as well, and I can jump back and forth with a button.
	I spend most of my day in Windows now, unless it's video related, in which case I use Final Cut Pro.
Hi Dave, thanks for the AmA! In regards to task manager - often times I have to click the 'end task' button more than once to get the frozen program to actually close. Why is this? Thanks again.	Remember that, at least in my day, End Task is different than End Process. The former sends a "Please close yourself" message to the app, and if it's hung, it should then detect it and so on, but doesn't always. Imagine the app is in a weird state where it's still pumping messages, it's not hung, but it's broken. End Task likely won't work.
	That's when you need End Process, which tears everything down for you. The substantive difference is that the program gets no choice in the matter and no notification. End Task can be graceful. End Process is brutal.
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What about when the task manager stops responding? We need a task manager manager to manage the task manager. Lol	I've never seen that happen, ever, unless the system itself or the window manager is bunged in some way. Your puny Task Manager cannot save you now.
	Then again, nothing can, save a reboot.
What cool new tech are you excited about?	Right now I'm actually trying to productize something of my own, a system for doing hidden, permanently-installed LED holiday lighting. It receives the effect entirely over WiFi, or it can fall back to built-in effects and so on. Quick demo from 4th of July here:
	https://youtu.be/7QNtj2hZtaQ
	I'm done the software on the ESP32 and on the desktop, and working on the phone app now. So the next step is to find someone to manufacture the actual addressable LED strip fixtures. They'd be like under-counter LED strips that snap together end to end, but weatherproof, and with WS2813 LEDs internally.
	In terms of stuff that I'm just benefitting from, the latest CPUs from AMD are amazing. I have the 32-core 3970X and the raw computing power is hard to comprehend. That you can buy a 32-core chip for $2K (or 64-core for $4K) amazes me! Now I need to learn AI or something to make use of all of that hardware...
After the rise of WinRAR, did you continue to use the trial or did you pay?	From: [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])
	Sent: Saturday, April 29, 2006 3:14 PM
	To: Dave
	Subject: Your BuyRAR.com Order #: 122229610 License Key

	Attachments: rarkey.rar
	My WinRAR order number, from about 15 years ago, is above. And my WinZip license is much older than that. As someone who (a) made their real living in shareware and (b) worked on Product Activation, I'm the kind of guy who always licenses everything! You'll notice in my PlatformIO/"Arduino" video I even walk people through how to contribute to show how easy it is. I love good, cheap software.
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Would you download a car?	My wife's Tesla downloads update all the time. I'm sure they're just as complex as the mechanical components of the car, so in a sense, we already do!
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But... why did you keep the email?	I have a folder on my OneDrive called Registrations where I keep copies of license keys and registrations. So it was handy. Looks like Telix is my oldest registration from 1989 or so.
Also what was Microsoft really like back in the 90s? As a user of MS-Dos 3.30 forward till now. I’m assuming there has just been a whole tide of changes. Was double space really as funny on the dev side as it was on the user side with the slowness and the pufferfish as a logo :)	I worked on Doublespace in that I wrote a thunking layer that could live in low memory and then moved the rest of the code into the HMA. I didn't work on the compression, but odds are the guy who did is reading along right now, I bet!
	I don't really know if it was faster or slower than its contemporaries like Stacker. I wrote one for the Amiga, though didn't get it quite finished before starting at MS, and it's an interesting and hard problem to do well. At least on the AmigaDOS it was, FAT would be a tad easier.
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I mean for its time it was great. But back then floppy disks and 10M RLL-MFM drives were more the norm. It was actually awesome to have it included IN the OS instead of having to buy stacker. I think this is why I get so much of a kick out of every phishing AD that says download this to double your RAM. It just takes me back.	RAM Doublers are a whole 'nother ball of wax. Raymond Chen, in his blog "The Old New Thing", covers them well. If I understand it correctly, in the most famous case the code to do the actual memory compression was disabled, so it literally did nothing, but did it with overhead.
	On the other hand, I note that current Windows, the HyperV, and even my Synology NAS offer "Memory Compression" now so perhaps there's a time and a place on modern cpus and systems.
I'm an Engineer and regularly use MS Office to produce reports and calculations. Subscript and Superscript are something I use all the time. For at least the last 15 years, in MS Word I can hit "Ctrl +" & "Ctrl Shift +" to make the highlighted text Subscript or Superscript. But MS Word sucks for calculations, so I use MS Excel. But MS Excel it's about 8 clicks to make something super or subscript, and the hotkey technology hasn't made it in. So my question is, why was MS Office 2003 the best version of office that was ever produced?	I retired in 2003. Coincidence? I'll leave that one up to the scholars.
If you could go back and change anything about Windows without consequences or worrying about backwards compatibility, what would it be?	Format! I wrote that and since I was used to using the Visual Studio Resource Editor for dialogs, but couldn't in this case, I just laid out a stack of buttons and labels, content in the knowledge that a Program Manager or Designer would come up with a proper design for it that I would then code up. But somehow, no one did, and no one has for 25 years! So it's a big tall stack of buttons like a prairie grain elevator.
Ever met Bill Gates or have an interesting personal experience with him or another higher up you can share?	Yes, even when I was a new college hire he had the 30 of us or so over for beer and a burger in his back yard. It was a nice touch and quite informal. Obviously, at some scale, it wasn't 30 people anymore and they couldn't continue it!
	Ever play the video game Star Castle? It was like that. Concentric circles of people standing around BillG each armed with what they hope is a question or comment so clever they'll stand out in some way!
If every software you need would be available for both systems. Would you use a Linux distribution or Windows 10?	Right now I'd use Windows 10 because, if the same client software is available, I'd do it on Windows simply because I have a new 3970X w/ 128G of RAM and triple RAID0 SSDs plus an Optane stick. All for about 1/10th the price of a Mac Pro. Since the hardware is so cheap and powerful, it's really hard to resist.
	Even if all the client software were magically available, or Parallels for Linux were a thing, I'd stick with Windows because I haven't seen a Linux UI that I really like. I know everyone has a favorite... if there's an actually good and attractive one that works out of the box, let me know what distro, and maybe link a screenshot!
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Give Mint 20 with Cinnamon a fair shot! I have struggled for years trying to like a Linux distro but never found one that felt and looked right which I think had been the reason Linux hasn't been adopted mainstream but Mint20 with Cinnamon is possibly it..if not its very very close.. Has awesome multi-desltop winodws feature and you can make it basically just like Win10.. Would love to know what you think of it! 20.1 BETA just dropped and has a super interesting feature called Web Apps that needs to be checked out asap! Heres a link to the 20 long term support version.. some people do not like the Minto Logos/Backgrounds out of the box..keep in mind there are a ton of nice ones included and many more you can get quickly if that's something you don't like..what is really neat is that you can make Mint20 look like any OS.. there are themes that make it exactly like MacOS I just have not personally tried those out yet. https://blog.linuxmint.com/?p=3928	Thanks, I'll check out Mint!
I am looking at my copy of Douglas Coupland's "microserfs". Although it's fiction, do you think it resembles the Microsoft Culture of the time?	Lord no, that book bugged me. On the one hand, they're a bunch of pretentious and precocious, annoying kids. I worked on a team (NT) where the tone was set by Dave Cutler and the guys he brought over from Digital, so it was rather different. On the other hand, it's such a big company that odds are those four main people DID exist somewhere in the company. Just not around me!
Why was (is) a monolithic registry preferred over distributing the settings in a number of files like Unix? Why did windows remain single-user focused for so long when Unix was multi-user since the 70s? In my understanding, if there is just one user, that user has to be admin which opened Windows up to security issues. (I don't even recall any sudo-like privilege escalation in pre-XP Windows.)	Windows NT was multiluser from birth. And there's nothing about the Windows architecture that requires users to be admin; the reality, I think, is that most apps started out in Win95 land and just didn't work if they were run as non-admin, so people ran as admin because the apps required it.
	We couldn't just break all those apps and say "Oh well, get better apps" so what you got was a convention of people running as admin. But again, there's no need to. Same as Unix.
	The one exception is that under Unix it's easy to sudo and so admin work briefly. I wish Windows had (or exposed) a simpler mechanism for letting me run as a non-admin credential and escalate when needed. I know UAC does the same thing, more or less, if used cautiously.
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Yeah NT did eventually get around to fixing it. My question was really about the earlier systems, because I think you said you worked on MS-DOS? Since there were existing systems with multi-user and privilege escalation even before the first Windows, somebody must have made a conscious decision to not include that functionality.	MS-DOS was only the second or third OS I can think of for a Microprocessor (CPM, SCP, then MS-DOS). What existed for mainframes and minis didn't matter much in the memory limits available on the desktop.
What was the inspiration for Space Cadet Pinball and what is your high score?	I don't know, I wasn't the designer, the inspiration part happened separate, I provided the perspiration part! I was actually pretty good at the game, since I was literally paid to play and test it... but I don't know the score, sorry! I do have the world high score on Tempest, though! But not Pinball :-)
1. What's something super useful within Task Manager you think even seasoned Windows users don't know they can do? 2. What do you think a future version of Task Manager should be able to do?	I think CTRL_SHIFT_ESC is a surprise to a lot of people!
	I think Task Manager needs Dark Mode, and a way to show who has locked what file or device so you can kill the offender when needed.
Why is it that I can still find dialogs in Windows 10 that were clearly built using 16 bit Visual Studio 97 version?	This should explain it. When you achieve perfection, you leave it alone:
	https://youtu.be/l75a8CvIHBQ
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Please for the love of God, use your Microsoft contacts to stop the snipping tool from going away. It's literally perfect but they keep trying to discontinue it.	One Compound Word: SnagIt. It's what you need to make your life complete.
	After my time, but I heard the new snipping and history that's being built in to replace it is pretty good. It better be if they kill snipping tool!
Thanks for task manager! I use it for so many things. How do you feel about newer versions of Windows de-emphasizing the control panel in favor of their new settings app?	I'm all for it if they made sure they had 100% coverage of all settings. It's sort of weird that in this day and age, with an R&D budget in the billions, we still have a mix of new control panel and old property pages. But I like the new stuff if it covered all cases!
Hello Dave! Why does Windows have such a rough time transferring a lot of small files? Is it a limitation of NTFS?	It's not Windows, it's all operating systems. Part of it is filesystem related:
	Imagine copying a file takes 200ms of overhead plus 10ms per MB. Coping 100M of large files will take 200ms + 1000ms = 1.2 seconds.
	Now imagine you have 100M of 1M files. Now you have 100*200ms + 1000ms = 20000ms or 20 seconds. 20 times as long for the same amount of data.
Did you ever get a chance to work in/on OS/2? I stuck with OS/2 until 2005/2006, before moving onto Linux, and would love to hear any opinions and stories you might have.	I didn't! I used OS/2 a bit but never had a chance to work on it. Many of the people I worked with did, though... but if OS/2 were Kevin Bacon, I'm one degree removed.
I had waited more than 20 years to ask this... What the fuck is Trumpet Winsock?	That's what you need to use TCP/IP on Windows before it was included in Windows. You're welcome.
What was the idea behind having "generic" activation keys starting in Windows XP that would activate any version, it was said they were for [educational purposes], did Microsoft provide them to 501c3/non-profit schools, or was there a different reasoning?	I'm not sure what you mean by "generic". I remember retail and oem, but what was a generic key?
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There was a set of keys that became public knowledge partway through XP life that appeared to activate unlimited machines as valid, though added a banner "For Educational Purposes Only". I remember trying it back in the day and always wondered what the intention was that was important enough the key activations were never blocked. [I did have multiple legal keys, but curiosity killed the cat and I had to swap one to the "educational" key to see for myself, lol]	I don't actually know! But I can surmise that if it was displaying a banner down in the bottom right corner of the screen, it knew it was not licensed and was likely limited or time-limited in some way. Unless you could actually ACTIVATE them with that key, which would surprise me.
How does OLE still work? I can't think of anything else that complex and old that still runs. We've got a legacy piece in our application that uses it and I can build against it using .net 4.0, in an Azure pipeline and deploy to windows 10 hosts and a piece of 90s technology still works perfectly. How and why?	It was complex, but pretty well written and very well tested. That's not to say there aren't a lot of bugs outside the common case codepaths, but I bet if Office used it, it's pretty solid, and will be forever.
Other than your personal phone number, did any Easter eggs make it to general availability?	There was one in the Win9X shell, but I think we removed it for Windows XP and later. So not that I'm aware of!
Have you ever wanted to make a "sequel" to Space Cadet?	There are actually two other tables available in the original Maxis game that should work, in theory, but I think Space Cadet was the best of the 3, so...
Were there ever any 3rd party edit/change to shell that made you think, "Why didn't we think of that?"	Not offhand, but "Stacks" on MacOS where it tries to rescue your mess by grouping things by filetype (Images, Docs, etc) is pretty clever. So that's something I wish we'd though of!
Have you worked at all with Bryce Cogswell and Mark Russinovich?? Also, what was your initial response to Process Explorer /the Sysinternals stuff??	No, but the SysInternal guys are geniuses of the highest order, so far as I'm concerned (and I say that based on their products, no knowing them). They know their stuff.
What are your best/oddest purchases you were able to justify as a work expense (for example, were you able to get MS to buy pinball machines as an R&D cost)?	I had DirecTv in my office! I was working on the Media Center prototype and we couldn't get cable on campus, so I got the dish installed on the roof, etc....
	I had a Tempest machine in my Office but at my own expense. I started right around the days of the "shrimp vs weenies" memo, so they were pretty cost conscious.
Is it true that you and Dave Cutler got into a knife fight over a hand of poker gone bad?	A broken bottle is not a knife.
Was DoubleSpace stolen from Stacker?	No. As I understand it, DoubleSpace was licensed from an Israeli developer. Then I heard that Stacker had somehow been awarded a patent on using a hash table in compression, which sounds pretty ludicrous if true. There was a trial, and even though it revolved around hash tables and math and compression engines, and no one on the jury had been to college, as I heard it. So the big guy lost. That's the story I heard, your mileage may vary. I'm not a spokesman, etc.
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MS-DOS 6.21, the most useless version. I remember writing an extra "2" on my 6.2 OEM disks when the update came out (no point wasting disks).	You say "useless", I say "canonical".
	I think I actually worked on 6.22, not sure. It was 6.2 something. In terms of usefulness, the features I added to it personally were:
	- Moving Doublespace to HMA to free up a lot of low mem, as noted
	- Giving Diskcopy ability to do it in a single pass with no swaps
	- I wrote a new version of Smartdrv that added CD-ROM support
	- I wrote a special version of Setup that worked via deltas and put everything on a single floppy (no point wasting disks).
	Mind you, I was just a summer intern when I did that, and it took me about 3 months.
What are your favorite DOS command-line tricks that still work in Windows 10?	doskey!
What actually happens if someone deletes Win32?	Human sacrifice, cats and dogs living together, mass hysteria. Do not attempt.
Did Bill ever swing by your cubicle and tell you'd he'd take your assignment home and finish it in a weekend if you didn't hurry up?	Cubicle? It was the 90s at Microsoft! I had a corner office with a table, chairs, a Tempest machine, and a sofabed.
What is the best project you worked on or had friends work on that was canceled, that you would revive if you had the resources?	Windows Media Center, I'd say! And I wish they'd done a great AutoPC that the OEMs could have licensed and made common to most cars.
There has been a lot of hate on Windows / Microsoft from the Unix / Linux advocates. What are some narratives that you disagree / don't think are true?	I used to love the Amiga, so I know what it's like to feel a sense of advocacy for a platform that you feel is superior but overlooked in the marketplace.
	I think the most untrue narrative I've heard about them is that they all have neckbeards. I think it's only "most", not all.
How do you introduce yourself at parties?	"Does anyone here know how to update my Groove subscription on my Zune?"
What OS are you using now? What's your favorite OS of all time? What's the worst OS of all time? What's the worst Microsoft OS (if different)?	The best OS of all time was Windows NT 4.0 with the Shell Update Release.
	The worst OS of all time was the TRS-80 Model 1, Level 1 DOS that didn't have the keyboard debounce code in ROM yet so you couldn't even type on the thing.
[deleted]	No, I never put a true easter egg in anything. Especially in an operating system, I don't believe in them. You have to be able to trust the OS, and I think it goes against that.
How did you get started in this specific field?	I first wandered into a Radio Shack store in about 1979 when I was 11, where I saw my very first computer. It was not connected yet, as the staff had not figured out how to set it up yet. Being somewhat precocious, I asked if I might play with it if I could manage to set it up. On a lark they said, “Sure kid, have a shot”, and ten minutes or so later I had it up and running. This endeared me to the manager, Brian, enough that every Thursday night and Saturday morning I would ride my bike down to the store: I’d type in my crude BASIC programs and they were kind enough to indulge my incessant free tinkering on their expensive computer. So that's pretty much how I started!
Do you ever have moments where you’re like “they have it so easy nowadays” or do you think that because of the groundwork put in place 30 years ago that systems have become exponentially more complex?	Only when someone spools up an entire docker instance to pipe something to it on the command line... then it's like "Really? You're basically booting a virtual computer as a command?"
What's the best C++ expert tip you can share for fellow programmers?	If you make anything in your class virtual, make the destructor virtual, particularly if there's any chance that anyone might delete an instance of your derived class through a base class pointer. Otherwise, the behavior is undefined, I think, but even if it works, it's not what you want!
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Wow this is eerie. I literally fixed a bug a couple weeks ago that was this specific case.	They can be weird bugs to track down, too!
Tabs or spaces?	Spaces on an indent of 4, tabs set to 8.
How can I open an MS Binder file?	Push down on the metal tabs at the top and bottom of the central spine of the binder. That will release the 3-hole punch claws, and then you can remove your printed file.
"It's now safe to turn off your computer" Why was this splash removed?	I think most current BIOSes can do it on their own by now!
Do you have any insight as to why MS decided to build Windows 95 from the ground up instead of building off of an existing *nix system the way Apple did with OSX? Was it just for backwards compatibility or were there other reasons? Also, had you gone this way, how do you think Windows, and the industry in general, might be different? I'm asking as someone who thinks that WSL is the best thing to happen to Windows in years.	Windows 95 was not built from the ground up, but NT was. The most succinct reason (and just a guess, I'm not a spokesman) is that even though MS had Xenix on hand, there were fundamental problems in the way Unix handled SMP multiprocessor locks and so on at the time. I presume these have long since been solved in Linux, etc, but not without significant work.
	WSL is one of my favorite things too, but for the library of tools and software, it makes available to me, not because of some fundamental architectural superiority, I don't think!
What are your feelings about "Microsoft Bob"?	https://youtu.be/rXHu9OmLd8Y
What did source control look like in the 90's? How did MS keep its code from leaking out to the public? How did you handle versioning and different developers working on the same feature?	We used a tool called SLM, or Source Library Manager. It was sort of available briefly as a product under the name Microsoft Delta.
	It was OK for smaller teams but did not support branching, so just before I left we moved to Source Depot.
Why was Ctrl + Alt + Delete changed to Ctrl + Shift + Escape?	It wasn't! Ctrl-Alt-Delete raises the "Secure Alert Sequence" which triggers the OS to switch to the secure desktop, where you have the ability to click a button which will start task manager upon return to your regular desktop.
	Ctrl-Shift-Esc is a feature built into Winlogon that launches a TaskManager on the current desktop without switching to the secure desktop.
	There are theoretically hacks and exploits that can only be caught by switching to the secure desktop, so if you're ever in doubt, ctrl-alt-del is the more secure way to go.
How did DOS ever get away with just pulling device names like "COM1" out of thin air when it came to output redirection etc..?	That's for compatibility with MS-DOS.
What are you currently working on?	Mostly on LED and Microcontroller projects that I detail on my YouTube channel, and the channel itself takes a fair bit of my time! If you're curious, you can check out my current successes and failure adventures at http://youtube.com/d/davesgarage
Did you work with Kris Hatleid on Super Hacker and the game Evolution?	I worked with Kris on an unreleased title called "Commander Video". That's largely where I learned assembly language, since he did the bulk of the coding, I watched and did level design, etc. 1982 or so I believe!
Got any dev back door mainframe access codes for pinball?	hidden test
Dave, how did you manage to do all that without being able to google everything?	That's one of the craziest things... I got a degree in computer science before you could even look anything up!
	The hardest part was OLE2. Coming form a different platform (the Amiga) it was a monster to wrap my head around, and the book (Inside OLE2) was not the best for introducing devs to OLE. It scared me, and I sure could have used a YouTube tutorial or two!
Hi Dave! So here's a bit of an odd one. I loved your Space Cadet Pinball! I must have spent countless hours on it as a kid, and even now I still occasionally try to find ways to boot it up. A legitimate classic. But lately, the version windows offers just... don't feel the same. They aren't as nice. Is there a game you can name that you would say feels like a worthy successor to Space Cadet Pinball? Or even any more general pinball games you would recommend?	I have a real Black Knight 2000 machine here in the house that I fully restored, so I'm a fan of physcial pinball as well!
	I think the two best video games are (a) arcade Tempest, and (b) XBox Geometry Wars 3.
	GW3 is a classic, or should be!
Woah woah woah, University of Regina?!? Are you from here? Cool to see a UofR grad had such a major impact!	Yup! Check out the regina sub for a recent article
When working on MS-DOS what did you think of alternatives such as 4DOS, NDOS or DR-DOS, were they source of inspiration for new features or not at all ?	No in general, but Norton had NCD. It was a change folder command that could jump around the disk, so if you typed "NCD drivers" from the root, it could go down to "C:\windows\system32\drives". Super handy.
	So I tried to write one for NT, but it meant changing the working directory of the PARENT process (cmd.exe) and I could never figure out a clean and elegant way to do it without modifying CMD itself!
Which is the best version of Windows? (Figuratively speaking).	Windows NT 4.0

Understanding and Beating the Bots

Strahd Must Die Tonight (sort of) - Strahd Dies over an exhaustive 2 days.

I saw czeuch's post and figured I'd follow suit.
This is the first time I ran Castle Ravenloft, I have another party running through CoS with MandyMod's changes and wanted this to be a good way to for me to learn the Castle for the campaign party's finale.

Setup

I didn't aim for as merciless a run, since I've never felt like playing full adversarial ends up being very fun, and none of the players I invited have ever played a character to level 10, some haven't even played any sort of spell casting class before.
I did a skim and some reading of the chapter but definitely didn't know it by heart. The supplement provided by Ziopliukas definitely helped a lot.
The party was as follows:

Minotaur Paladin 10 Devotion - Sunsword, Stone of Good Luck
Yuan-ti Pureblood Warlock 10 Celestial - Staff of Frost
Half-Elf Bard 10 Lore - Pipes of Haunting
Dragonborn Cleric 10 Grave - Symbol of Ravenkind, Ring of Regeneration

Right off the bat, I knew that Grave Cleric's Path to the Grave + Sunsword + Smite could easily burst down Strahd very very quickly, I had to burn those slots first.
I wasn't sure how to play aggro rules here, normally in my games I would play where enemies would go rally basically everyone else and bring them over. However, I also know a lot of official modules have rooms where they say if a fight breaks out, they will go grab reinforcements from XYZ, which is considered the trigger. That being said, I just played it safe.
My own rules were: - Strahd activates if he is run into, or any of the listed triggers in the document, such as the elevator trap, etc. - Other enemies don't activate unless they are run into - Strahd can go get other enemies to activate them (thus giving some breathing room for the PCs)
We used a Roll20 provided server on day 1 with Discord for voice, and Foundry on day 2, also with Discord for voice. dndbeyond was used for character sheets and item reference.
The game was broken into 2 days. 5 hour and 10 hour session. It was tons of fun, but ooof I don't have many 10 hour sessions in me. I will have to recommend having modules from Roll20 imported to FoundryVTT saves so much time, and keeps the game running smooth, especially with Tokens and sheet prepared already.
Combat ended up with something like 30+ rounds, likely over 40 rounds of combat, lost track. I had to keep combat rounds sometimes to track Strahd healing, or when they had to traverse places while trying to keep the entire team within devotion aura range.

Tips/Improvements

In case Ziopliukas doesn't want to read my whole ramblings, I summarize what would help future DMs run Strahd better here:

Supplement should mention teleporter room has 5/8 areas off limits since they can't leave the Castle. I was blindsided by that for a second since I read the description to the party, then realized they couldn't go to most of those places.
A note for Daern's Impenetrable Fortress that it's hard to get in, and only certain skills, like Gaseous form will get you in, since they asked Pidlwick 2 for a safe place to rest, and that was the first thing I remembered, not realizing they had no way in. It still kinda worked out.
Sunlight weakness says at the start of your turn. So Strahd need to make a Legendary Action to move out of sunlight before his turn comes around. This avoided so much damage for him.
Abusing Vision distances and range to prevent being Counterspell is good.
The wight teleport/swap traps are important in front of the crypt. I forgot this.
Daern's Impenetrable fortress can't be shrunk while things are in it. In an effort to keep things running and smooth, I overlooked that point and let Strahd shrink it down.
Polymorphing yourself will remove your sunlight weakness if you want to make an attempt at killing the Sunsword wielder. (note that the best creature is a T-Rex though, and all I remembered was that Strahd had gone other places other than Barovia so I figured it was fair enough game. I could very likely be wrong, in that case, go Giant Ape)
Devotion Paladins make the game so much harder, but I still blew one Charm on them since just because he recognizes they are a Paladin, he might not know they are immune. (I didn't want to play too much 4D chess, and know exactly what they will do)
Fogcloud will even the disadvantage playing field if your forces need to commit to fighting in sunlight.
Watch out for reactions, my players set a lot of reactions based on if they see Strahd appear, which would let them cast the ever important Hold Vampire, or get attacks off as he phased through walls.
Locking doors magically is also a very useful skill to split the party so you can go charm half the party. The 20 initiative is where you run into trouble. If the entire party doesn't attack but sets reactions to move instead, its very hard to catch them split, which leads to the next point.
Ray of Frost spam will chip them down quickly, and prevent reaction spam.

Highlights of the Sessions:

Team is paranoid about the front door, and Stone Shapes through an arrow slit instead of going through the front.
Strahd self-polymorphed into a T-Rex, only to be polymorphed into a Chicken subsequently. The party did not realize that was Strahd, and figure he kept exotic pets. He was then left at the bottom of a 40 foot crypt for safe keeping.
The study rug was taken an tossed in the fireplace to attempt to put of the fire, ruining the rug.
Multiple players go skydiving with vampire spawns as their diving instructor in the Heart of Sorrow tower.

Day 1: Gravity hurts like a bitch

1st Day, we played using Roll20 with a provided server, it lasted 5 hours.
Immediately, they were wary of the dragon statues in the entrance, and decided to spend Stone Shape to enter from the north wall, thus bypassing the main areas. Because of this, they never ran into the organ room, and I ended up throwing away the monologue I found on this subreddit (it was great too :()
They followed the corridor and soon found themselves in the Heart of Sorrows room. After a few of them falling off, they had the Bard (who was basically utility build and would only fall on a 1), run up ahead to destroy the "scary red beating heart thing". Which promptly trigger the flying halberds and the vampire spawn. A clever shatter dispatched the halberds quickly, but the vampire spawn were hard to deal with. The entire party was all prone and crawling since they took a decent chunk from the first few falls and were looking to avoid that again.
While the Bard made a second attempt at the heart after being chased down by halberds, he managed to roll a natural 1 on his check, ending at a 9 for the check and fell down something like 150ft. He was unconscious and had to be healed after that. The party being at differing elevations got grappled by the spawn and dragged off the end. The spiral stairs blocked some sunlight as they descended, so when the Paladin wasn't on the same floor, their party member a floor above was getting grappled with advantage (being prone).
The first session ended up with the bulk of it being spent fighting these spawn, and killing one for good, while the last 3 retreated and just stalked the party, trying to avoid the sunsword. Later, I had one leave to go notify Strahd they exact location.
The team makes their way into the study, where the Cleric's passive perception was high enough to realize the was something up with the fireplace, how it kinda had an ashy looking door burned into the back, and they ended up tossing the rug in to smother out the fire.
They did figure out the poker eventually, and almost walked into the bedchamber if not for the Paladin rolling an insanely good persuasion against the Warlock's. The Warlock gave in to her argument to explore the hidden room first, and they just narrowly avoided finding Ireena.
The small secret room past the fireplace has the treasure chest trap, and they figured out since the skeleton was holding it's throat there was likely something up with a choking hazard. Only the Paladin decided to step out when the Bard decided, lets see the treasure. Poor rolls were made and a 3 restorations were needed by the Paladin.
The session ended here after they opened the room into the spider room and saw the cocoon.
About an hour before ending the session I did check if they wanted to play a day 2, or just hop into the boss fight, since I told them it should be a one-day 4 hour event. Everyone was having a ton of fun, even though we did not get very far, so we decided for a day 2

Day 2: Someone just die already

2nd Day, we switched over to FoundryVTT since I found out about it, and with the help of a convertor, I was able to get everything up and running relatively quickly. This session took 10 hours, luckily everyone had their schedule cleared, but I did not think it was going to take this long.
They ran into the spiders at the bell, pulled the bell thus further alerting Strahd who already knew where they were. They run from the spiders, barricading the door and running into the study. Then they go and decharmed Ireena with dispel magic, and she told them some basic information about the castle. They asked if there were any other staircases down, and she told them about the one next to the study, saying she had never gone down it though. They then took the stairs in the study down to the basement, ending up in the teleporter room.
They ended up using Tiny Hut to get a short rest here, however, since Tiny Hut prevents magical effects and the like from going outside of the hut, only those with darkvision could see outside, due to the Sunsword being blocked (at least as far as I could tell, the light should be blocked). Shadows set up outside, as well as the surviving Vampire Spawns, followed by Strahd. Since Shadows are black and darkvision only gave monochrome, I let the shadows have advantage on stealth since they blend in even better (I figured it's like dim light).
They manage to get a short rest off (while Strahd went to rope the other vampire spawn who got split off). (I could've just interrupted them here, but felt kinda bad since they needed the health after having to spend 3 spell slots on restorations to fix the paralysis).
Then I did the Strahd shows up floor and charms the Bard who made the Tiny Hut to go swimming with him in the Strahd Zombie infested pool to the south. (Paladin was north, and just out of devotion aura range). They learned after that never to leave 10 feet from her. A dispel magic had to be used to prevent the tiny hut from dropping if the Bard left, and they mulled about setting reactions to all go into the teleporter at the same time.
They had the teleporter configured to Yellow which led to the tomb, and ended up with a fight with the Vampire Brides, along with Shadows and Vampire Spawns and Strahd teleporting and landing on top them. The Sunsword was clutch with the radiant damage each round, and many turn undeads were used. Here they ate a few fireballs (some upcasted), but the Warlock was able to counterspell a Blight and fireball, which helped a lot. Strahd danced between the crypts shooting at the party, forcing them into a corner, and then cast fog cloud on the corner to even the playing field, since the undead got disadvantage from the sunlight, now the players were blind to even it out.
Strahd did go get the wraith and the hellhouds who did join the fray, getting 3 fire breaths off successfully. Here one did hit Ireena (which may have been a mistake, but I only remember reading that Stahd can't hurt her, and I figure Strahd will make the dog into a rug if she dies). A lot of max hp was lost here, as well as a bunch of strength from the Bard. By the end, he had something like a -3 modifier to Strength after being hit by a bunch of shadows.
The party limped out of the crypt only to come face to face with a T-Rex. (I forgot about the Wight traps and ended up just shuffling it to other squares randomly). They ran for a bit before polymorphing it into a chicken. Strahd chicken followed them for a bit, pecking at them while 2 ran into Wight traps and got stuck in the crypt. Luckily one was the paladin since the warlock just couldn't roll any decent rolls. In the meantime, the cleric cast light on Ireena instead, and she took the front with the Bard, leaving the Cleric to take the rear. A successful grapple from a no longer turned vampire spawn mean he got dragged into darkness and was soon starting to die quickly due the spawn getting advantage on his blindness. He ended up having to spend his last channel divinity here to save himself, thus removing the fear of a 1 hit kill combo from the Grave Domain + Smites. The team regrouped, and the Paladin then decided to put the chicken at the bottom of the crypt they just escaped out of to keep it "safe". They didnt want to risk dropping it down the 40 ft shaft, so she climbed down and left it down there. Strahd was not happy being a chicken for an hour in a dank crypt shaft.
The team wanders upstairs and encounter pidlwick 2, who then tries to lead them to the Treasury (they were nice to him). They asked him for a safe place to rest, and the only place I thought of was the Treasury, forgetting that you couldn't get into the fortress w/o certain spells, which they did not have. The party is critically low on health for everyone, all being one or 2 shots from going down, and out of high level spell slots.
They went through the chapel, and scared off the vampire spawn there (they retreated from the sunlight to possibly come back later, all 4 made it). Pidlwick showed them the elevator trap, and they threw a strahd zombie corpse down to activate it (this was getting on to hour 8, and yea that's a stretch to activate it, but I wanted to get this damn session over with at this point).
They ride the elevator up as directed by pidlwick 2, go back through the webs, seeing the door having been smashed, are careful not to touch the bell this time. They find the fortress, but can't get in. No one brought a grapple hook, so they threw a crowbar tied with rope to the top to act as a grapple (made an athletics check, figured it was a rule of cool, and they passed). The Cleric decides he's tired of carrying caltrops and toss it by the door.
Climbing to the top, they realize they couldn't get in anyways, so they tiny hut and short rest at the top, thinking they would be safe since it's Adamantine and not part of the Castle. This is where I made a mistake. They hear the spiders get killed outside, and Strahd comes in with the wights leading. So, I kinda forgot the can't hurt Ireena thing, and not being able to shrink the fortress, so he shrunk the fortress letting them all fall. I did remember that he can't hurt Ireena after that, so he did not expand the fortress to squish them. They blow their last healing spell, Mass Cure Wounds backed by beacon of Hope. This almost tops everyone off, so they have health, but only a handful of spell slots. Strahd makes a few attacks here and there along with the wights as they push their way out back towards the study.
Everyone is feeling the fatigue at this point, being at around hour 9 and I was tempted to just throw Strahd in an call it a day after harassing them all day long. But I ran it smart with him hitting and moving, trying to play cat and mouse to get into a position to charm someone alone. He catches the Bard one more time, which uses their last dispel magic, and they come up with a risky plan to bait Strahd with the Bard since he is completely out of spell slots, and thus hurts the least if turned against the party.
A final fight happens in the bedroom, with a fogcloud being deployed. Reactions were set, and the Holy Symbol was spammed. It end with the Minotaur Paladin saying fuck it, and going for the grapple partly since she was tired of playing for so long. Since there's sunlight, Strahd couldn't turn to mist and escape and eventually got smite spammed down. A lot of reactions were set to try to grab him, with a few Symbol of Ravenkind spams tossed in there.

Possible Difficulty Adjustments

Since this group was newer, I didn't want to play super killy, since while the goal is to determine good tactics for Strahd, making it challenging enough to be fun, but not feeling completely hopeless and impossible was my goal. To ramp up the difficulty I could have done the following:

Actually used Strahd's Ray of Frost Cantrip. He felt more like someone who would attack physically (I switch unarmed strike with a sword for the same damage for flavor). Using Ray of Frost would have been a win for Strahd easy, since they were out of healing and chip damage would've been too much by the time they made it to the Treasury.
Used Rahadin, having creatures not affected by Sunlight are really strong here.
Used Bucephalus. In my ongoing Strahd campaign I use him to basically air drop tons of enemies into good ambush positions. This felt really cheap to use here against newer players if I had him go with Strahd and basically round up everyone in the dungeon.
Lure the party into trap rooms. I feel like this is hit or miss, my party here was already very paranoid and came in planning to try for a outlast winning strategy than killing Strahd strategy.
Use the last 4 vampire spawn I had in reserve (activated previously). I was at hour 9 and really wanted the game to be over, and it was satisfying as is, and more enemies would be over kill.
Upcast Fireball spam. No party is going to survive 6 total fireballs to the face. The Darkvision advantage and moving through walls makes this so broken if abused. There's literally no reason to use any other spell, since the max damage is huge, you just have to make sure you don't hit Ireena. But doing this isn't fun. It's got no flavor and just doesn't feel fun to play against.

Conclusion

Exhausted in and out of game the party managed to kill Strahd and loved it. I'm happy with the decision to run 2 days, and long sessions since the attrition play was much more tense and enjoyable for both sides. At the end, everyone had good things to say for every party member's contribution since it was attrition and not burst. The Bard, while pretty bad in combat pulled through to shatter the Heart of Sorrow, provide the skill monkey checks where needed and provide tiny hut respites and most importantly polymorphed Strahd into a chicken! The Warlock saved so much damage by counterspelling a few big spells, and put out good damage with her Eldritch Blast spam. The Cleric came clutch in healing and keeping the party up through a slog, and lastly made the important hold person with the Symbol of Ravenkind. The Paladin kept the dark at bay with the Sunsword and secured the final burst damage needed to put Strahd down, and most importantly kept him grappled for the team to pummel.

tl;dr: Some rule mistakes were made, everyone loved the game, and all had something good to say about their teammates. Spam fireballs and use Ray of Frost chip damage if you want to win. Don't get into grapple range in sunlight.

Do Autonomous Trucks dream of C.W. McCall? Part 9- a new home

Tran was a shitty gambler, Chi mused. He played poker like he was sure the next hand would save him. It didn’t. He overpromised and underpaid. Chi planned on kicking his ass to send a message, but Tran ran that line of shit about millions in bitcoin. Against his better judgment, Chi settled Tran’s debts with every other loan-shark in town and fronted another stack of cash.
And all that ended with Tran gambling that away, talking a load of shit and ending up in this dumpster with a trash-bag tied around his neck.
Chi looked at Tran’s phone and wondered if the money was ever real. Considering it might point back at him, he smashed it against the corner of the dumpster a few times before dropping it and walking back to his car. He had some debts to pay.
Falstaff looked at the paper maps in the motel’s office. He followed the Interstate southeast to the desert and what used to be the California- Arizona border. He looked for places he hadn’t heard of being associated with edgy festivals. Even better, motels with chain-sounding names. That’s the place nobody’d look for him.
He packed his car, coaxed Hank back in the carrier and got in his car. Before he got going, he booted his laptop and put the memory card back in. Evidence wasn’t a problem any more, it was getting found.
He copied the contents to his laptop and poked around. Ten minutes later, he had set up a password cracker against the accounts, hoping that Tran would choose something easier to remember and therefore guessable.
He plugged the laptop’s power supply into the car’s cigarette lighter, then put the laptop on a bag on the back seat.
East he went.
Geoff had the night shift on another Internet giant’s campus. This meant he drove a golf cart around once or twice, then parked himself in the camera room and tried not to sleep. Sleeping would cut his hourly wage and get him kicked back to dangerous, dirty jobs like protecting rail yards from motivated thieves.
He used to pick a skill and research it. He learned to get basic vocabulary in Spanish, Mandarin, Fujianese and was trying Tagalog. He could carry a conversation as long as it revolved around simple topics, like where the bathroom, parking lot and reception desk were, or that he wanted to purchase something.
Tonight he picked at that truck thing again. He used a map application to virtually drive between Phoenix and San Diego. After a few hours, he found the spot on the Interstate that looked like the right landscape from the cameras on the pinball machine. He looked at the street view and the camera view over the older man’s shoulder.
Motherfucker. Spot dab in the withdrawn zone.
Who travels to the middle of nowhere to steal from a truck and only take some stuff?
Couldn’t be locals. Locals would strip the truck bare.
He watched the video again. Looks like they took plain grocery shipping boxes.
Inside job? And steal boxes of fresh pasta and imported wine?
He scrolled back and took a few screengrabs. When he worked security at the shiny new headquarters, they had some wild surveillance tools. Real time tracking using AI image enhancement and they taught you how to use it.
Geoff got pretty good at it. He looked over at his phone and opened the scheduling application for his employer. He underbid a few other people and picked up the next shift.
Which got him reinstated access to the HQ’s slick surveillance system. He uploaded the images and asked it to clean it up. He expected this to take a bit of time, so he cleaned up and got ready for his shift.
And his phone dinged. A match.
That he didn’t ask for. Ten seconds later, he saw a corporate ID card. With that bored look of middle aged techie.
Falstaff.
Huh. Dumb name. Looked familiar, but so did every other techie from where he stood. Probably had more money in options than he’d ever earn.
As he drove to work, he wondered why a techie would be robbing trucks in the middle of nowhere instead of getting rich or dying fat here.
He parked, took the shuttle and made it a few minutes early for shift change. He expected a slow night.
Five minutes into the shift, he was sipping good coffee and watching the camera feeds when someone asked for him by name at the desk.
He looked up and saw one of the muscular internal security people smiling at him. Close cropped hair, clear coiled earpiece and the look of someone who worked out at an actual gym instead of lifting five gallon buckets filled with water in a rest stop parking lot. Looked like internal security, maybe even VIP protection.
Guy probably had pretty good benefits. Geoff would love to get a job like that.
Geoff pushed his coffee to the side and stood up to greet the guy asking about him.
Enzokuhle gave Geoff a broad smile and introduced himself as Enzo. The two men were pleasant with one another, but Geoff seemed wary. Enzo didn’t know why he was there either. He was scheduled to do driving and personal protection for a senior exec working in his office, but he got tasked with asking a contract security guard some questions about something very hush-hush.
Whatever. He was good with people. Perhaps he’d learn something.
“Geoff, may we speak outside? This is a sensitive matter, requiring some discretion”
Geoff motioned to his puzzled co-worker by holding up his hand, splaying his fingers and mouthing the word “Five”. The two men walked through the stark but stylish lobby onto a manicured park-like field.
“So, what do you want from me? Not too often we get you guys involved”
“An hour ago, you performed a lookup for a company employee. Have you been in contact with that employee?”
“No. I had an image I wanted processed”
There was an uncomfortable silence as the walked. Geoff realized that Enzo was listening to his ear-piece. Enzo was nodding as he listened.
“I see. So you haven’t seen this person outside the picture you uploaded”
“No, but I have an idea where he might be”
Enzokuhle put his hand up. He wanted to end this transaction as quickly as possible.
“Thank you. Please do not speak of this to anybody else. Your discretion is most important here. Return to your post and we will contact you if we need more from you”. He pointed Geoff back to the lobby without making eye contact.
Galina Ivanova spent a few more minutes talking to Enzo, then thanked him. This was a false lead. AI must be glitchy. No chance that the developer who stole almost a billion dollars was unloading trucks instead of moving that big pile of money somewhere.
Any additional time logged to this goose chase would make her metrics worse. She took off her headset and tried to go back go sleep.
Geoff sat back in his chair. He remembered a video of a scuba diver diving under a moving container ship, looking up at the moving propeller and how close they almost came to a gruesome death.
Why was that guy important enough to throw an alert to internal security?
He looked at his phone and the email with Falstaff’s ID photo. He couldn’t do any lookups to see the last time he was in any of the buildings, since that fed into whatever alerts that brought Internal Security down on his head.
But he remembered something. Employee parking wasn’t owned by Corporate. It was a separate company, which required him to remind annoyed techies when their photo ID wouldn’t trip the gate when some absent-minded developer forgot their garage access card.
Last time this Falstaff guy used the garage was almost two months ago. Such a stereotype. Silver Porsche. Now he knew why the guy looked familiar. He left the day that big brouhaha happened. Rumors flew about the security and custodial staff- some developers stole the next phone design or a treasure trove of celebrity nude photos or something else of value to these people. Anybody too vocal with their opinions got fired and walked out, which Geoff wanted to avoid.
Whatever it was, it was valuable and embarrassing. Made sense to go hide in the desert.
And he had an idea where Falstaff was. Maybe, if he brought him back, there’d be a big enough reward to let him to leave the Valley and go back to Ohio. Pay off debts and raise his family.
It wasn’t like he was making any headway here anyway. He was going on a road trip.
Falstaff was driving slower now. He needed better fuel economy and to take the time to scout out his next stop. Some towns had plain dried up and others still too connected. The last place looked promising. The gas station was a weatherbeaten Sinclair, with a repainted dinosaur. They only took cash. The chain restaurant was burned out and there was a motel “a few miles up”.
Hank was sleeping, but Falstaff’s laptop dinged with the results of his attempt to crack Tran’s big blob of data.
He had passwords for the handful of accounts Tran had dumped on that chip. They weren’t for the financial application he and Tran were working on. Instead, they were for the store’s production environment. He didn’t have a billion dollars in untraceable currency, but he could send almost any consumer good to anybody on the planet and clean up afterwards.
He had some investigating to do, and he preferred a cheap motel to do it from rather than his car.
He rented a room for a few days from a surprised old man and tried to ignore the curious stares from a few permanent residents of the motel.
At least Hank enjoyed exploring the room and this motel would not get the camera friendly festival crowd.

This is part 1 of an already published 2-part story but I think it's too long and dragging and the more I think about it.... it's just a mess. There's also something like a riddle in the text maybe someone can tell me how to improve it and if the bizarreness is just silly or worth something? Please?

You ever sit around all day don’t know what to do? So bored of yourself that you just look at anything until you feel the rot creep up on you trying to drag you down. Well if you’re reading this, you must have some time on your hands. The name is Don Kowalski by the way.
My uncle used to say ,Gotta get out boy’ he said, ,You’re in a dark spot some time and when you’re in it keep going. Take it all, breath it in. Keep going. Always keep going.’ – ironic since he killed himself in a hunting accident out somewhere in woodland. I suppose he didn’t want to miss his prey and kept going after it. Kept going.
It started to work. For a few days you fight, and you struggle as sailors in a dry ditch or on a dry glass and you keep going, push forward and nothing comes from it until you know nothing will come from it. Such was time for me at the outbreak of our lovely new friend Covid. My one-part-off-part girlfriend Alessandra was with her family in Florida and so I shared the sunriddled apartment only with booze and screens.
Time was the enemy although it hadn’t been so from on early. It didn’t have to be this way. In the beginning, I was thrilled staying put, living only at home, downing a bottle here a bottle there took me months to realize that getting drunk wasn’t much exciting when you could do it every day. Lifting was no fun at home without the showoff.
The thrill wasn’t there without the mirrors and the others and I would not give empty testament. So I was stuck, down deep in my black chair with my greying hair clinging greasy to my head and the stubble on my face growing thicker and thicker like hedges and forests of dry metallic wires drilling themselves deep in my naked skin.
I sat on the chair, blue light penetrated me and I watched into it like someone getting lost in the sun to see caleidoscopic patterns afterwards for minutes and some stare in the dark ponds in gardens and across them and I stared into the unknown abbeys of the internet until I found something that hooked me. Interest was reborn, the cherubim and thrones sang, and I was again digging for knowledge on the riddle.
It was the case of Nathan, not Lessing’s I mind you. You got to know I’m, and I know this sounds like the start of a bad pulpy novel, I’m a PI or what the cool cats call it now. Private Investigation, looking at lives for a fuck of money but better than to slither up buttholes at the ordinary stational sedentary life I once had and was led in. I was called up, by a Mrs. Anderson, whose voice sounded like a whisky drowned chimney.
Carry Ann Anderson had called about a friend who was now dead meat. The case was solved she said but somehow it was not, not for her. There was rot on the inside of fresh timber. A fair warning here – there won’t be no solution, cause certainly me didn’t solve it. I told her so, when she called again. I hadn’t been to LA and going there was a waste, I knew as much already. For her sake I called the department over there and talked to the detective. She wasn’t going to be happy with my findings.
Gluing a mask of false politeness to my voice I asked, “So what’s the matter hm?”
“They say it’s all real simple: kid snapped and did it. But something ain’t right. You see I knew her back from the day, from Sacramento. I can tell you, this boy was no of these Columbines or Sandy Hooks, he would never hurt them.”
“That’s what the parents of those kids said too,” I said, uncomfortable silence on the other end.
“Something’s just off about this. You saw the files already?”
“Mhm. Didn’t do much good.”
“Tell you this: the officers said the same. Said it’s all there orderly and not like some coverup or some shit they tell you like the conspiracy theories on TV you know? Like they had to dig for it you know? Not too difficult and not too easy but also not in between not your textbook stuff either. Not odd he said. But said that it all around made it odd. Made it seem odd, still, somehow. Seems like not the type to do it. You know he said type? He spat them words out on me,” she said.
There I was. I made some calls asked about the kid that chopped down his family, sat his flat up like a Christmas tree and coaled it down to the ground, all in a cozy night. One day to the other and a bunch of people gone.
I find a pal of his, named Erica Cremonte. She was willing to talk. Told me when it happened and went down and all the other stuff. Other guys didn’t talk or told me how shitty they feel about it all. I dug a bit deeper inside Erica since she was the only source of water in the land of dry lands, she told me a bit more, opened up like an old lady to the cashier or waiter or the poor sod at the bus. Told me about Nathan and his family and his brother and his girlfriend her few idle feel-good weeks in Africa and the funeral. And that it didn’t make sense to her either.
And the days go by and I start to forget about the whole thing since there’s no leads and none won’t talk and I give up. Call Mrs. Anderson and tell her there is nothing and she doesn’t understand the whys in my words but she knows them and we agree to part ways and wish each other a nice day and she’s gone.
Days and weeks and months go by and I forget. Then I am locked here in front of the monitor and it all comes back and something in me stirs and after hours I stare at the profile of one Margaret Suarez and see the condolences on her Facebook profile.
I write to her and days pass me by, drinking lifting reading and boredom, the old familiar gent from around the corner walks up again until there’s a response. Asks me how I found her, what I wanted. Calls me and tells me all about the disfigured creep that slashed her mother in the office. Digs deeper and finds all the glory all the madness in the last mail, sent from her mother’s account.
He left something for us and I will share it with you. Keep in mind it’s all ludicrous but it will help pass some hours. So, the following is the written word of Nathan Cohen, brought to paper after he killed his therapist while locked up in the cuckoo’s nest.
##########################################################################
Sometimes I look up at the sky, at night. I wonder, is the lightning of the stars hidden by the vast dark, or is the darkness a shield? A shield that keeps us safe and calm from countless eyes that stare at us?
Back then I didn’t care for the night. The air was on fire from the red morning sun, every time the same, from grad school to that day when those good Fast Times at Ridgemont High started. In the beginning it was only dark shades of purple and crimson until the firmament turned to face blood.
A line of mystic clouds was in the sky, creeping forward like a white river. The street came alive minute by minute, looming trashmen came to empty our waste in the stark dust flying around. It was better in the hills with the cooling breeze before the onset of dawn.
Back then life was soft and kind and sometimes the only touch of madness was a killed hedgehog on the street or two poisoned cats in the neighborhood. Now, the sky is blue and white and partly covered in striped clouds standing static on the package of my pills. My name is Nate Cohen. Or was. A sitting corpse though I might sit and breath and eat and drink but I don't laugh or sing or cry. The laid out actions of others, that brought me here, might seem untrue for they can’t be proven, but I assure you they are true.
All of them. I don't know what will happen after I hit the "send" button but you all need to know there is a shade of acid in the world you don't taste or smell, but it burns your face like brimstone like flame-gas scorching your eyes like the sun was just the backside of a black hole. You'll see.
I was born Nathaniel Cohen in 1991 in the glory land of sunshine, to Ira and Susan. We lived down in Sacramento, my father running flocks of cars from behind a stuffed desk, and my mother gave pottery classes every Tuesday and Thursday night, taught a few friends how to make halfskilled molds of clay. Dad was a bold man always chasing dreams of living without a mortgage, and Mum supported but was like a happy young girl and bathed in the sounds of Sunday lawnmowers and plastic pools, water from the hose filtered the rays of solar bronze.
I guess in their own ways both were not real, maybe that was what tied them together. We weren't rich but not poor.
Playful on weekends I built forts and donjons between California sycamores and gray pine and hunted and ran with classmates and friends and neighbor's kids that grew grizzled worker’s brown over their small shapes.
I was happy before and afterwards, but loss is like a sharp pin in the foot, long lost by a sewing woman, too lazy to pick up her needles. Until then, when I was under or over 11 and my progenitor decided he needed to be home faster or sooner or was just hungry, and crashed into 2 men and 1 woman and one dog. Insurance and my grandparents (now long dead) kept us from sinking in the shelters of the homeless ones, but my mother needed work or we faced to lose the house.
The first months she worked as waitress at Ear’s, a rundown bar I wasn’t allowed to enter and so sat for hours on the warm sidewalks, gleaming red in the drowning sunlight and grey and sad under the smile of Mother Selene. Some days Mrs. Anderson watched me and I watched her, sipping slowly but frequent on cheap Chadonay. This went until some better showed up, and the months turned to over a year until that happened. My mother had studied contemporary art spending hours devouring Roy Lichtenstein and the likes and to find paying employment had never been on her mind, until some time as now.
Finally, after two years my mother got an offer from a small magazine in Los Angeles and we moved to this strange new world. Surprisingly, moving at the age of 13 was no fun but new friends found me as I slowly settled, when something changed.
Robert Berkowitz came into our life and took us in. He was a bald man with blonde eyebrows and eyes like glowing azures, he was no stranger to money and art, which was the way he’d gotten involved with Mum. They hit it right at each other and after some months or weeks, might it was just some weeks, he took us to his house in Beverly Hills, not far from where Foothill Road hits Park Way.
Beverly Palm Plaza was soon my second living room. Later, in the foul age of 16, I used all chances to leave the house into the mass of the 30.000 inhabitants living there, crossing the invisible line south of the tracks, where Pacific Electric had once worked streetcars on the Red Line. Eons ago in another world.
I did everything to leave home, my newborn half-brother Seth a crying shitting mess, stomping out silent thoughts with such vigor, that I agreed to join my mother on her monthly expeditions to the Los Angeles Country Museum of Art, near the buzzing Wilshire Boulevard. It was well worth the laughter from the beauties in blonde and black, and the cute Valley Girl that lived across from me. Life was good.
Robert tried to be a father, but in the end we formed a bond. He was there for me when I wanted and offered counsel and paid for my life while I enrolled in college, even helped my shallow dream to join in true Hollywood. After college I enrolled in the UCLA TFT program and, with help from my stepfather, finally landed a job at a production company, Reality TV. I started out as trainee and clawed my way finally to second assistant of the executive director of scripted TV development at Geronimo Grande Productions.
It wasn’t what I had dreamt of but at last I sustained myself, though Robert insisted to help with the rent for my flat on Kelton Avenue, where I still lived after graduating. Life was good back then, without the staring stars that tried to break through the night, away, far far away, Racing with the Moon.
I was 28 when the shades and clouds came over me. I was out with friends, a steamed night in the cool warm air’s vibrations around us.
We found a small restaurant near my place. Pitfire Artisan Pizza on 2018 Westwood Boulevard had brilliant Pesto Chicken and a damn fine Field Mushroom. I was there with Jules and Erica, enjoying dinner outside to the left of the entrance, a silent small tree our only companion, until she walked by. Inside there was a meeting of some charity organization, The Cotton Club or something.
Hair like ironed black jasper and ascetic nude makeup, she strolled by in a white tank top and black yoga pants, the matt casually under her arm. I didn’t stop staring at her. I couldn’t. Some birds in some nearby trees seemed to whistle after her and she turned around, just for a second, as if to say come after me Birdy.
“You in love Naty?” asked Erica, the flower from the valley with the flaxen mob on her head, sitting across from me.
“No,” I stuttered “Just caught my eye. Nothing.”
“Sure,” grinned Jules between his teeth, “Mine too.” he said, folding his tattooed arms in front of his chest, tongue shoved in the corner of his mouth smiling like a bobcat dressed in jeans and shirt of the same fabric, The Boy in Blue.
“Why don’t ask for her number? She’s just down the corner.”
“Isn’t that kinda creepy?”
“Most women like a bit of creeps, ” Jules howled up at his own joke, his hat nearly falling from the back of his head as he raised it up and slapped his left knee.
“Oh, shut up predator,” I waved off, before I turned to Erica “You don’t think that’s awkward?”
“Not if a guy like you asked. I remember a friend of mine met her husband like that, now Peggy Sue Got Married,” she smiled and put her head to the side. Too perfect white Hollywooddream teeth.
I had seen the Girl turning left and jogged away from the Pitfire, still hearing Jules laughing, when I saw her near La Grange Ave. She cut another corner up right so I ran after her, praying to find her. Yet to the grace of my bad luck, she was gone. The street in front of me was not crowded but the vixen from my dreams was vanished. Hands empty and defeated I returned to the table.
“Vae victis,” announced Jules, as he saw my hollow eyes. I never had a poker face until now. With half your face in mashed up molten scartissue it’s difficult to show emotion and I wonder, so far from home will the sun ever show herself again, will it fill anyone out her, raise itself, Raising Arizona?
“Did she say no?” blonde Erica asked with true empathy.
“Seems I lost her,” I said, trying to hide my disappoint. Just a few seconds more decisiveness and my life might have changed.
“Well let’s go, search a new one,” Jules sprang up and clapped.
Let’s go. The words rang, as I tumbled out of the cab up to my flat, the Girl long forgotten for the next few months until another fateful day, when I went to my gym. Workout and work kept me focused for a time and it was mostly night when I came home.
I admit I was a glutton. I had to work out at least three times a week, gym rats they call them. Muscled sweat pouring gales of raw testosterone into the halls. The Equinox Gym was my favorite in Westwood and I had been a paying patron for years now and knew more faces there than in the streets around my neighborhood. I had just left after a session of pumping my brains out, when I saw her crossing me by.
“Hey,” I blurted out in reflex.
She tilted her hand. Black hair, a shimmer of brown in the dusky sunlight, dark eyes and a friendly smile took me right home. Right where I belonged.
“Hey yourself,” she said, raising one eyebrow.
“Do I know you?” she asked, without arrogance, her black-brown hair gently thrown over the left shoulder. Love leaking out of every pore I muttered a plain “Yes”. Before she had a chance to pass me by.
“Sorry. I meet a lot of people lately,” she smiled “Are you in one of my courses?”
“Courses?”
“Well, here,” she grinned. Small white teeth and a thick red snail that crouched behind them, giving them shelter and backup, all the same.
“Ah no. I think, you passed by a pizza palor couple of weeks ago?” I stuttered in embarrassment, trying to suppress redness swelling on my cheek.
“Yes, that’s on my way. So, you’re my new stalker?” She laughed.
“Well, don’t I feel honored,” I extended my hand “My name’s Nate, by the way.”
“Amy. Amy Gallagher,” she raised a slim white wrist in the shade of the California sundown.
This was the day I really met Amy Gallagher for the first time. I rue it every moment in the coffin of my sterile being with the stars laughing at me and the disc in the sky calling my name making me all Moonstruck.
We set a date for the Saturday to come. I thought it fitting to go for Italian and led her to Sammy’s down at Santa Monica Boulevard. It wasn’t too expensive (I didn’t want to come across as one of those guys) but stylish enough to show her I had some taste stored in me. She wore a stunning babyblue dress just touching the tips of her knees, and her black mane was straightened in a long tail crowning her right pale shoulder. When she saw me, she licked her lips as if to prepare me for her Vampire’s Kiss. Sammy was a first gen from Palermo, old now he longed for his home and always liked to impress with native extravaganza.
“Ciao ragazzi!” he said as I walked my stunning Kypris down the cheap red carpet between trashy fake Roman plastic pillars.
“Come stai?” Amy replied, took his arm and left me somber.
They chatted a bit in Italian, what they said I do not know, but I knew the small thing in my belly, the knot of discomfort in my stomach. Laughs and eyes on me. Cheers swallow the jokes.
“You’re full of surprises,” I tried to gain control of the tilting ship, unnecessarily clawing my black hair back.
“You got no idea,” she pressed her tongue between a marble row of perfect teeth, a small red viper watched out from the cave of her mouth.
We talked of hard work, of idle time, of family the usual first-date-topics broken up by a hand of awkward pauses in between, like flashes in the storm.
“My family’s not from around here.”
“Neither’s mine.”
“So whose Italian? Mom or Dad? I bet your Dad.”
“None of them,” she grinned “I picked it up couple years ago.”
Movies, theater, literature, antipasti, strange people, more hobbies, main dish, skipping desert and I rolled from over her in my half of the bed (thank god I had cleaned up before I left).
Time flew like night owls and bats and the days were filled with wet noises. I visited some of her Yoga classes, though it didn’t suit me. She visited me on my work. I showed her around the crappy little rooms we sat in and all awed at her body and face.
The nights were like Sunday afternoons with her and all ungood became stored noise in the corner, so became my dead father and her dead family and my aspirations in Hollywood and her degree from John Hopkins and my love for seafood and her fishnet dress and here working Never on Tuesday. Three months and there was the big day.
“So you’re the famous Amy!” mother opened her arms to greet her, eager to impress. Hard embarrassment as Robert did the same, while Seth waved at her and whispered a shy “Hi”, acting so often like young male teens, caught in the web of a child’s mind and a growing body.
Mother had insisted to cook and so we all chowed away on something resembling orange Lasagna, chowing away with the Time to Kill until it was all over. Robert tried to save grace by filling up after each bite and putting on some of his favorite tunes. Wine spilled on the tablecloth like the face of Christ.
“Nothing better than the master,” he prophesized while laying on a small fortune in the body of an old vinyl version of “Sweet Home Chicago”, his second most favorite behind “Fire Birds”.
“You like to make deals yourself Nate told me,” Amy teased with a smile, Wild at Heart but calm and in control.
“Oh, we got an expert over here!” he teased back.
“I knew some devils myself,” she curled her pink lips, deviously looking from my chest to my eyes.
“I bet you still do,” Robert winked and tucked away as my mother gave him a noticeable kick under the table with a smile on her face.
“So, you’re a Yoga-instructor?” asked the former waitress, sucking out the air of the room.
“Amy is actually a doctor,” I deflected as she took my forearm softly, clinging for support.
“A doctor? That sounds nearly like what Zandalee did! Remember Zandalee? She was the girl down the street who had that accident a few years ago?” asked Robert, ignored by the rest.
“Why not work in a hospital or a clinic?” asked my mother.
“You must know, Western medicine is very limiting. There are many ways to keep oneself healthy, but you got to be open minded and have the stomach for it,” she laughed.
“You mean like this Eastern stuff?”
“Well there’s many older tricks to keep oneself in good shape,” she said before switching the topic “Nate says you two are art enthusiasts?”
“I don’t want to brag but I know my way around,” said Mum.
“Well me certainly not,” said Seth annoyed, a bored sigh escaped his lips, barely noticeable the runt of the egomaniac litter.
“Who made that wristband?” Amy inquired “It looks really cool!”, prompting a hidden prideful smile from my little brother who had put a small plastic pearl on a leather band knotted around his wrist.
“I did,” Seth said, as he stared awkwardly at the table.
“Don’t be shy baby,” said my mother “he’s usually not like that.”
“Just not interested in girls yet.”
“Are you famous?” asked the child, his cheeks bright red.
“No, I’m afraid I’m not,” said my love, giggling like an imbecile on her Honeymoon in Vegas.
“You sure? Aren’t you from the poor family?” asked the child again.
“Why do you ask?”
“I saw you on TV. You’re in that show about it.”
“Seth what are you talking? Stop that nonsense!” insisted my mother.
“It’s not nonsense,” said the child
“Enough now!” said mother.
“Ready for some games?” asked Robert as we dropped Seth’s fantasy.
“As ready as Amos & Andrew,” answered my Mum.
We spent the rest of the eve with talk and drink and spilled chips and even attempted to gamble on a bit of Ma-Jong before everyone sighed in boredom and we drove back to Amy’s place at Red Rock West with the Deadfall of the evening behind us. Usually, I had no trouble sleeping somewhere else and I had been to her little house at the fringes of the city’s civilization more often than not and when I woke at 03:00 a.m. the room smelled like gasoline. The TV was dead. We had watched something didn’t we? I thought “Guarding Tess” or “It Could Happen to You” was just starting when we dropped in. The things I knew were all so useless, I thought, what did it all do me good to know A Century of Cinema?
The bed was empty except for my own sweaty body, the smell like tiny razors in my nose, and when I called out, the only response was nothing from the hallway. I made my way outside on the corridor when I heard the whispers. At first I thought they came from the dirty bathroom but the closer I came towards the stairway the clearer it was.
Some voice was talking in the kitchen. Hiding my presence, I gazed through the open door and saw my girlfriend stare up at the moon, her voice barely a sound in it’s dead light. I didn’t hear what she said but for a while it seemed like there was someone else with us, someone who saw me and pointed a finger, led to her turning around, her eyes open and wide locking on my face. I jumped back at the swift surprise, as she called my name.
“Nate?” she asked me with a hunted voice, as if ready to give me the Kiss of Death.
“Y-Yeah. Everything all right Babe?”
“Sure. What you doing down here?”
“You were talking.”
“Did I wake you up?” she opened her arms to hug and we embraced another. Something wasn’t right.
“What you doing here? It’s after 4 in the morning and you here in the kitchen.” I left the words hanging in the air.
“You never noticed? I sleepwalk, always have. You really never woke up to this before? Did it since I was a baby when we were Leaving Las Vegas.”
I had no idea what she said. She told me it had happened to her since she was a child and that she had strange dreams of the moon and would wake up in the kitchen or the living room, mouth dry which meant she talked for long times, though to whom or what, she never said. Said it happened when she fell with the head right on the top of The Rock. We went back to bed but something was off. There was a noise. Or was there? I tried to turn around, roll over, Amy’s soft snoring next to me. Still a noise. Or not? Yes, yes definitely a noise. Or not?
A crackling sound, I jumped up. Slowly I crept outside the bed. Maybe just a bird had hit a window, had happened before. I crouched into the hallway, it came from the door. There was someone outside. Someone whistling. Slowly I made my way towards it, careful not to make the outsider aware of my presence.
I heard him breath or something that seemed like breathing. Half-breathing. Through the peephole I saw the void outside. There was nothing, just darkness and that whistling noise, soft and barley hearable.
It changed. Like light but not light, maybe orange or red. Did someone make a fire? Who would make fire in a building? It was like a bright red ring surrounding the black void. Then it blinked and I fainted.
Weeks came about and went by and work took me up as our next big project came, on my side always dutiful two new interns who often filled the whole office with the smell of fries they brought with them. We were in one of the smaller conference rooms, clean metal filled with flecks from cheap food, taking short breaks in between the longing working hours.
Sometimes I would use the breaks to talk some things through with my boss, always eager to show him how dedicated and thankful I was. His office had his name on the door but every time I couldn’t suppress the image of Very Important Pennis: Uncut on it. My tow fellow working drones were out to grab some snacks and I enjoyed the insularity of the room and took deep breaths, breathing through, Con Air from its powerful oxygen.
In my hand, a cup of coffee laying my eyes on the window, down on the people who passed another on the concrete between the pavements, when at the corner a man stood still. He was not ordinary. He just stood there. Had he stood here before? I don’t know but he stood and watched and then waved. Did he wave his hand at me? I came closer and tried to see what he was doing.
He raised his arm up in 45 degrees, and a single finger pointed at me like a spear as I gasped. Was this man mad? Was he seriously looking at me? There was something odd with him, I knew. There was something with his grimace, his Face/Off like he didn’t belong here.
Not on the street, but right here right that he was wrong in the City of Angles with his staring and unblinking Snake Eyes. As if he licked the thoughts in my head he violently shook his face up and down, loosening his slicked back brown hair and he smiled like a kid until for a moment his skin shook looked like a loosened mask. Then he hopped from one leg to the other, passers just ignored him, one to the other one to the other one to the other and bang he had fallen flat on the street crushing his head on the ground.
He lifted himself, blood tripling down on his brown suit and his white shirt and he did the same again. With full force he cracked his face on the hot concrete, again and again, sputtering teeth in all directions, still everyone ignored him and laughed at the sunfilled day.
As sudden as before he stood up, waved at me and ran away around the corner. In disbelief I kept standing and saw him look around the corner, staring at me until he produced an 8mm camera he pointed downwards. Then he started to spit around, all over the place as if that would have some effect like melting the stone or Bringing Out the Dead (which of course it didn’t).
Then he was gone in no time, Gone in 60 Seconds. Unbelievable what I had seen. When the interns returned, I pointed the spot out but the blood wasn’t there and the street so dirty clean like ever, and they thought I joked at them and turned their pimpled faces into smiles. Maybe it had just been bizarre performance, stranger things happened.
I told Amy of it and she agreed that it was nothing but an act or maybe really just a party clown or maybe someone who wanted to perform for his kids like The Family Man that he might be. I snugged up to her and pulled her close. I was happy and lucky and had to suppress that crunching emotion of bliss for a single time in my life only to accept the beauty in it with my shortloved heart.
I didn’t think about the man until a month later, it was weekend and Amy had her courses to give so I decided to grab my brother for a time at the beach. The hot sand around us we were lain out in the sun, talked about girls our mother and that his encroaching puberty started to cause tidal waves in the house. He was a good child and I tried to be as much a brother as I was. We were out in the water and then dried in the sun, palyed volleyball and disturbed elder people with it, when the sun tingled away.
Time had flown and I was glad I took the day to spend it with him. On our route home I filled up the car at the next gas station. There I met the Man again. Seth had taken time to make a visit to the toilet as I waited in the car. I was on my phone and scrolled through reviews for the coming movie night. I made a selection, “Captain Corelli’s Mandolin” it was and “Christmas Carol: The Movie” and “Windtalkers” but a newer Adaptation, I looked up and saw the Man in the front of the car. His blue eyes examined my face, brown suit brown hair, and he hopped back in one jump and picked something up.
It was a little beagle and he pulled the puppy tight to his chest and scratched him gently behind the ears, whispering something into them that sounded like Sonny, but I’m not sure. He looked again at my eyes and he smiled. I didn’t know how to react, so I smiled back at him and showed him my thumb up and prayed he may go away. He did not.
He dropped the puppy to the ground and kicked it and jumped on it.
I heard the yelp and whimpering from outside but was too shocked to do something. He jumped up and down time after time my mouth opened in terror as I saw the blood on his black shoes. Through all this he had this relaxed smile and looked at me.
The howls of the puppy stopped and he picked up the furry meat, the head a mess of bone shards and brain, one eyeball broken out, dangled down form the rest of the defiled carcass. The Man pulled the puppy tight to his chest and lifted his thumb, cradling his face in the red stew. He let it fell down to the ground again and kicked it again and again until it was bloods-and-bones-stew.
I opened the car door when Seth shouted, “Where are you going?” I turned around to see he poked his head in the rustic car and as I nudged to the front, I saw the Man was gone.
Headfirst I sprang out the car and nosedived on the street, my face nearly touched the asphalt. He was gone and so was the blood. Seth shouted out but I was inside the shop already and begged the young cashier for aid, asked her if she hadn’t seen the Man outside. Headlight eyes looked at me in fear as I tried to grab her shoulders over the counter. Dirt blew up all around me as I touched the dusty bins and shelves. After a babbling tirade I looked at the hand that clenched my arm. Seth looked bewildered at me, his eyes asked if I gone maniac.
I had scared him but it brought me back to reality, for a short time. We sat silent in the car until angry hoops of late afternoon commuters called for banishment. I turned around and parked on the lot, then called police. They weren’t skeptical like in the films, especially when I told them that I had seen the man before. An understanding face took notes and went inside to consult with the cashier. I called Mum.
“What you guys up to? What’s going on?”
“Mum,” I said. “There was this guy.”
“Did something happen with Seth? What did he do?”
“Nothing,” I said and watched from the frame of my sight how my brother curled up in the passenger seat. “It was just odd.”
“What’s the matter with you? You scared me to death,” she said. I couldn’t scare her with this. Had I really imagined it all? I called Amy but she didn’t answer.
There was nothing on the video, they said. Just me in the car staring bewildered then stumbling out like drunk. They gave me various explanations from dehydration to stress and left me and my brother there on the road.
I opened the door and fell on the couch. I told him about my encounters with the man and tried to find reasons for the strange behavior until he asked if I couldn’t file against a stalker. Was this Man stalking me? From one second to the other things made sense and didn’t seem as bad, or bad in a different way. I pulled over a stoic mask on my mad face and cheered him up as I felt his angst. I called Mum and told her everything was fine, just a misunderstanding, and she accepted my explanation with weary ease.
I ditched my list and let Seth choose a film and slumped on the couch with dry eyelids covering my headache.
I woke up from a noise at the door, Seth crouched on my shoulder in sleep. I was scared and turned around to see my Amy standing in front of me, trying to plug in her dead phone. We embraced and sat down in the bedroom far off from troubling my brother with my disturbing tale. Amy didn’t doubt me but seemed more skeptic crafting mighty fine tales of pranksters and jokers wandering around town scaring people to practice their grotesqueries.
After a half slice of pizza and a cold shower we sat down with Seth on the couch, he somewhat checking out my girlfriend’s body under the green summer dress, a piece of cloth befitting a city not in tune with itself but always in fake summer. We lied in bed afterwards, she behind me, pressed against my back. I drifted away with a headache and the blazing last sunrays shone behind my eyelids again, a flash of a smile of the Man and his rat teeth and his chopstick-dress and he all set on fire, just standing and smiling. I woke and stared in darkness, the moon smirking at my anguish. Night bathed the room and I heard the deep snoring sound of Amy, still behind me.
The pillow was hot and cooked my ear and brought back memories of a headache as to command to turn over my headrest to the cooling side of the equator, to hopefully fall fast back asleep but as I lifted up there in the split of the halfclosed door to the dark of the halls behind I saw the blazing eyes. Red glowing in the dark for a lifetime and a second, staring and blinking and a soft tickle of laughter. I crouched myself at Amy’s side and shook her softly, she mumbling as her eyes opened awake.
I told her there was a thing at the door in the apartment. Sober from sleep her grogginess fell in an instant, and stiff like a white candle, she was up in the bed next to me. Her hands turned on the light and I moved a finger to the mouth and slowly crawled out from the bed, scared and slow steps I leaped forward looking behind me to see her face. She got up after me and held a hand on my back, a sign of watchful reassurance.
The rest of my home was dark and silent but for the breathing of Seth on the couch who woke as I switched on the lightbulbs tingling above his hair. Questioning eyes, he asked what was going on, Amy sat down with him as I went through all rooms again.
Then in the bedroom I looked under the bed and there was nothing. Back in the darkness of the hallway, Amy whispered to me of talking to someone a therapist or a psychiatrist, as I just stared at the shadow of a Man that was next to me, his face inches away from mine.

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