HELP!FNV Crashes every time when I try to loot something when Loot Menu opens
Also ctd happens on new game (softlock)
0 0 FalloutNV.esm
1 1 DeadMoney.esm
2 2 HonestHearts.esm
3 3 OldWorldBlues.esm
4 4 LonesomeRoad.esm
5 5 GunRunnersArsenal.esm
6 6 ClassicPack.esm
7 7 MercenaryPack.esm
8 8 TribalPack.esm
9 9 CaravanPack.esm
10 a YUP - Base Game + All DLC.esm
11 b SolidProject.esm
12 c Interior Lighting Overhaul - Core.esm
13 d FreesideOpen.esm
14 e New Vegas Redesigned 3.esm
15 f Functional Post Game Ending.esm
16 10 MoreMojave.esm
17 11 TGMIO.esm
18 12 Landscape_Seam_Fix.esm
FCOMaster.esm
19 13 rePopulated Wasteland.esm
20 14 TLD_Travelers.esm
21 15 Sexout.esm
22 16 SexoutCommonResources.esm
23 17 SexoutSlavery.esm
24 18 SexoutTryout.esm
25 19 Gomorrah Redesigned v2.esp
26 1a Weapon Mod Expansion.esm
27 1b SexoutWorkingGirl.esp
28 1c NVStripOpen.esm
29 1d TheHUDEditor.esm
30 1e Decrucifixion.esm
31 1f SomeguySeries.esm
32 20 Interior Lighting Overhaul - L38PS.esm
33 21 oHUD.esm
34 22 WME - GRA.esm
35 23 WME - DLCs.esm
36 24 RobbableCaravans.esm
37 25 Sortomatic.esm
38 26 STUN.esm
39 27 SexoutDrugging.esm
40 28 Bitter Springs Redesigned.esp
41 29 CookCookTwo.esm
42 2a PHWHPAPVisuals.esm
43 2b NV Cinema Fantastique.esp
44 2c Rhonda the Merchant.esm
45 2d HumanTrafficking.esm
46 2e GRARG.esm
47 2f Ragdolls.esm
48 30 YUP - NPC Fixes (Base Game + All DLC).esp
49 31 Unofficial Patch Plus.esp
50 32 Vurt's WFO.esp
51 33 Ultimate Invisible Wall Remover.esp
52 34 New Vegas Redesigned 3.esp
53 35 NewVegasStripOverhaul.esp
54 36 Uncut Extra Collection.esp
55 37 MoreChems.esp
56 38 PerksNoLevelRequirement.esp
57 39 VATS Alternative - Bullet Time.esp
58 3a JustAssortedMods.esp
59 3b FPSWeaponWheel.esp
60 3c NiptonRebuilt.esp
61 3d outsidebets.esp
62 3e FreesideOpenPatch.esp
63 3f Uncut Wasteland.esp
64 40 Windows of the Mojave v1.2.1.esp
65 41 AAM.esp
66 42 hz_Helpless Landing.esp
67 43 Mortalize.esp
68 44 Agonize.esp
69 45 Ammo Count Memory.esp
70 46 Safe Hotkeys.esp
71 47 StopDropandRoll.esp
72 48 Watter Putter Outter.esp
73 49 bzBodySuits.esp
74 4a SexoutSleepingNecro.esp
75 4b MitchellLabCoat.esp
76 4c SexoutLoversBed.esp
77 4d SexoutRapeGame.esp
78 4e SexoutRapist.esp
79 4f CPCN_AidMenu.esp
80 50 Lucky 38 Suite Expansion.esp
81 51 LessAnnoyingMojaveDialogues.esp
82 52 CNR_Beta.esp
83 53 populatedcasino-medium.esp
84 54 WME - GRA - Complete.esp
85 55 Functional Post Game Ending - Populated Casinos Medium Patch.esp
86 56 StripOpenMain.esp
87 57 NewVegasUncut 123457 Merged.esp
88 58 Functional Post Game Ending - Uncut Extra Collection Patch.esp
89 59 Sexist Dialogue V1.5.0.esp
90 5a HiddenValleyOverhauledMM1.2.esp
91 5b Animated Sleeping.esp
92 5c Cheaper Repair Vendors 10%.esp
93 5d Vanilla Armor Overhaul - FNV.esp
94 5e ADAM - Trooper Gloves.esp
95 5f LootMenu.esp
Nights are Darker 25%.esp
96 60 Nights are Darker 50%.esp
97 61 Simple Pickpocketing.esp
98 62 Extra Rounds.esp
99 63 RetrievableThrowables.esp
100 64 StealthBoyEnhanced.esp
101 65 Witcher Style Rifle Holster.esp
102 66 FirstAidReborn.esp
103 67 Destruction.esp
104 68 WME - GRA - All Weapons.esp
105 69 ShishkebabTorch.esp
106 6a Nukeexplosions.esp
107 6b Weapon Mod Expansion.esp
108 6c WME - GRA - Just Guns.esp
109 6d IMPACT.esp
110 6e Bullet Fixes.esp
111 6f No Hitscan.esp
112 70 LessIntrusiveKillCam.esp
113 71 RWD-NV v1.4 [No Limbs Explosions].esp
dD-More Gore.esp
114 72 hz_1 by 1 Reload Fix.esp
115 73 ItemBrowser.esp
116 74 FCO - Sweat.esp
SexoutLust - oHUD.esp
117 75 SmallerTalk.esp
118 76 Melee Reach Fixed Ultimate.esp
119 77 Grave_Digger_v021.esp
120 78 dD - Enhanced Blood Main NV.esp
121 79 IntuitiveRealisticCooking.esp
122 7a HumanTraffickingEX.esp
123 7b SexoutConsequences.esp
124 7c Functional Post Game Ending - Uncut Wasteland Patch.esp
125 7d Companion Sandbox Mode3.esp
126 7e NewVegasBounties.esp
127 7f NewVegasBountiesII.esp
128 80 1nivVSLArmors.esp
129 81 NewVegasBountiesIII.esp
130 82 Animated Workbenches.esp
131 83 ultra-luxe-fountain-cut-contentSO.esp
132 84 Functional Post Game Ending - Outside Bets Patch.esp
133 85 PrimmSouthUncutBisonBetaWT.esp
134 86 T60.esp
135 87 NVFunctionalMonorail.esp
136 88 WestsideSuburbsUncut.esp
137 89 SexoutSex.esp
138 8a ADAM Complete.esp
139 8b ADAM - MERGE.esp
140 8c Lucky38Overhaul.esp
141 8d Collectors Deck.esp
142 8e A Cyber Affair.esp
143 8f SunnyCompanion.esp
144 90 BR_MeatPrepAnimations.esp
145 91 MojaveOutpostCarApocalypseUncut.esp
146 92 More_Freeside_Thugs.esp
147 93 FreesideOpen - NewVegasBountiesIII.esp
148 94 No Witnesses.esp
149 95 Patient Gown at Startup by TheCalculator.esp
150 96 STUN.esp
151 97 MakHealOther.esp
152 98 SimpleGlowingRangerVisors(NeckCover).esp
153 99 WME - GRA - Vendor Reform.esp
154 9a Delay DLC - DM + HH + OWB + LR + GRA.esp
155 9b Primm Reputation Restored.esp
156 9c WME - GRA - Unique Integration.esp
157 9d Strip Wall Billboards.esp
158 9e UnlimitedCompanions.esp
159 9f Decrucifixion.esp
160 a0 GGNaughtyTradingSlavery.esp
161 a1 HeroesOfTheApocalypse.esp
162 a2 GolfWaterScene.esp
163 a3 Functional Post Game Ending - YUP Patch.esp
164 a4 RobbableCaravans_GRARGPatch.esp
165 a5 Decrucifixion - More Victims.esp
166 a6 BM Dish Explosion tab.esp
167 a7 Mojave Travel.esp
BM Dish Explosion No tab.esp
168 a8 Star Wars - Boba Fett.esp
169 a9 CookCookNewLook.esp
170 aa DIM TYPE3clothesRETAIL.esp
171 ab bzArmour.esp
172 ac WME - GRA - Weapon Integration.esp
173 ad KMGL_Main.esp
174 ae WME - DLCs Arenovalis.esp
175 af WME - DLCs.esp
176 b0 Boon_spotter.esp
177 b1 DragThings.esp
178 b2 RealSmokes.esp
179 b3 BuryYourTreasure.esp
180 b4 Realistic Portable Tent.esp
181 b5 Burning CampFire.esp
182 b6 Better Burned Man.esp
183 b7 Functional Post Game Ending - Strip Open Patch.esp
184 b8 Cut Sewers Restored.esp
185 b9 RestoredCaravanPlayers.esp
186 ba HumanizeBrutalize.esp
187 bb ILO - YUP Patch.esp
188 bc EmptyWeapons.esp
189 bd BushSounds.esp
190 be Securitron Siren Restored.esp
191 bf Lethal Headshots.esp
192 c0 IRNPC.esp
193 c1 Diagonal movement.esp
194 c2 FalloutNV_lang.esp
195 c3 EnhancedGrass.esp
196 c4 EnhancedDoF.esp
197 c5 GBMM - Gun Behavior Mod Merge.esp
198 c6 Immersive Hit Reactions.esp
199 c7 ImmersivePickupSoundsFNV.esp
200 c8 Bullet Impact Increased LOD.esp
201 c9 MuchNeededLOD.esp
202 ca NPCsSprint.esp
203 cb Player Headtracking.esp
204 cc The Mod Configuration Menu.esp
205 cd DeathclawDismember.esp
206 ce NewVegasBountiesFSOPatch.esp
207 cf Populated Strip.esp
208 d0 RestoredPapaKhanArmor.esp
209 d1 Portable Tent.esp
210 d2 ILO - Portable Tent.esp
211 d3 NewVegasBountiesIIFSOPatch.esp
212 d4 WME - GRA - Arenovalis.esp
213 d5 GunsFixedDismemberv101.esp
214 d6 No Tracer.esp
215 d7 NPCs Can Miss.esp
216 d8 NV Fatal Headshots.esp
217 d9 NPC Use Aid.esp
218 da RealtimeDeath.esp
219 db HelplessFalling.esp
220 dc FOVSlider.esp
221 dd Awesome Crippling Effects v1.8.esp
FCO - Roberts Patch.esp
222 de UndiesUnderneath.esp
223 df AnimatedIngestibles_0_5.esp
224 e0 AnimatedIngestibles_0_5_SitOnly.esp
225 e1 AnimatedDrinks_1_0.esp
226 e2 Destructibles.esp
227 e3 ArmourRepairKits.esp
228 e4 hz_Automatic Weapons Fix.esp
229 e5 B42Bash.esp
230 e6 Quickthrow.esp
231 e7 Preorder items in locker.esp
232 e8 B42Wristwatch.esp
233 e9 B42Inertia.esp
234 ea FNVBCv.1a.esp
235 eb LFox Cannibal Perk Improvements.esp
236 ec Cowboy Weapons Holster.esp
237 ed BloodymessCreatures.esp
238 ee Radscorp BM.esp
239 ef Companion Sandbox Mode.esp
240 f0 DynamicTimeScale.esp
241 f1 Helmet Overlay.esp
242 f2 SexoutAnimManagement.esp
243 f3 SexoutPosNew.esp
244 f4 TGMIO_ILO_Patch.esp
245 f5 HJLLessDismembermentAndExplosionsv100.esp
246 f6 Zan_AutoPurge_SmartAgro_NV.esp
247 f7 RWD-NV v1.4 [Standard Version] Update+DLC.esp
248 f8 SexoutBang.esp
249 f9 RPM - Remove Pre-order Messages.esp
250 fa Interior Lighting Overhaul - Ultimate Edition.esp
251 fb ILO - New Vegas Bounties II.esp
252 fc ILO - New Vegas Bounties.esp
253 fd FNVLODGen.esp
254 fe tmzLODadditions.esp

Hi, I am selling new & lightly swatched or used items from a non-smoking home. If you want more pictures of specific items, let me know. Everything is full sized unless marked as ds.
Feel free to make reasonable offers especially for multiple items. $5.00 minimum purchase preferably. Shipping is $4.00 unless they are heavier items. I accept G&S (I cover fees). I will send tracking info as soon as I have it and will ship packages within 2-3 days.
If you would like some reviews from people I have sold to on previous posts, let me know.
If you change your mind, please let me know. I will move to next person in line after 2 hours. If you need more time than that, just let me know and we can work something out. Thank you for looking 😃
FOR SALE!!
(I have everything that has sold marked)
EYESHADOW PALETTES: Verification
• (SOLD)Charlotte Tilbury Exaggereyes palette (Only used 1 time/barely used)- Retails for $53, Asking $30
• (SOLD)Urban Decay Born to Run palette (Used 2-3x)- Retails for $49, Asking $15
• Urban Decay Naked 2 palette (Only used 1x)-Retails for $54, Asking $24
• Dominique Cosmetics Berries & Cream palette (Used 5-6x)- Retails for $44, Asking $15
• Huda Beauty Desert Dusk palette (Only used 1x)- Retails for $65, Asking $22
• (SOLD) Too Faced Natural Lust palette (Only swatches)- Retails for $59, Asking $22
• Too Faced Natural Love palette (Used 2-3x)- Retails for $59, Asking $20
• Kylie Cosmetics bronze palette (Only swatched)- Retails for $29.40, Asking $7
• Nars Atomic Blonde eye and cheek palette (Used/the 2 left shades are pressed togetheprice will reflect condition)- Retails for $59, Asking $18
• Nabla Cutie palette (Nude) (Used 2-3x)- Retails for $24, Asking $12
• Dose of Colors Marvelous Mauves palette (Only swatched)- Retails for $32, Asking $12
• (SOLD) Too Faced White Peach palette (Only used 1x)- Retails for $40.50, Asking $14
• Morphe 35I (pastel collaboration with pony park) (Swatched only some shades, some shades never used)- Retails for $25, Asking $12
• Elf x Jkissa palette (first one) (All shades only swatched except bottom left blue shade is used 1x)- Cant find retail price because it’s limited edition, Asking $10
• Colourpop Give it to Me Straight palette (Some shades never used/some used 1x)- Retails for $18, Asking $8
• Colourpop Fem Rosa palette (Used 4-5x)- Retails for $16, Asking $8
• (SOLD) Colourpop Mint to Be palette (Most shades are new/couple have been swatched only)- Retails for $12, Asking $6
• BH Cosmetics Weekend Festival palette (Used 2x)- Retails for $18, Asking $8
• BH Cosmetics Take Me Back to Brazil palette (Used 2x/some shades never used)- Retails for $20, Asking $9
• Milani Bold Obsessions eyeshadow palette (Used 1-2x)- Retails for $10.99, Asking $5
• Alamar Reina Del Caribe 1 palette (Used 5-6x)- I can’t find retail price because it’s limited edition, Asking $5
FACE PALETTES: Verification
• Tom Ford Shade & Illuminate with box and Tom Ford bag the compact comes in (cream bronzer and highlighter) (Only swatched lightly)- Retails for $88, Asking $40
• (SOLD) Dior Backstage Glow face palette in 001 Universal- (Swatched only)- Retails for $45, Asking $24
• (SOLD) Charlotte Tilbury Filmstar Bronze and glow (Used 12-15x)- Retails for $68, Asking $24
• (SOLD) Natasha Denona Bloom blush and glow palette (Swatched only)- Retails for $55, Asking $25
• Nars Exposed palette (Some shades only used 1x/some used 3-4x)- Retails for $59, Asking $25
• RMS Signature Set palette (Pop collection)(Comes with Buriti bronzer, Magic luminizer, Demure lip2cheek, Beloved lip2cheek, & Simply vanilla lip and skin balm) (Used 1x)- Retails for $44, Asking $15
• Jouer bronzer duo in Sunlight/Suntan (Used 1-2x)- Retails for $32, Asking $14
• Jouer blush bouquet duo in Coquette (Used 3-4x)- Retails for $32, Asking $14
• Juvia’s The Saharan blush palette (2)- Retails for $18, Asking $8
• Too Faced Cocoa Contour palette (older one) (Bottom right shade never used/contour shades used 2-3x/top left shade used 5-6x)- Retails for $42, Asking $10
• Anastasia Beverly Hills cream contour kit in fair- (Used 4-5x)- Retails for $40, Asking $5
HIGHLIGHTERS: https://imgur.com/a/OXe5NUS
• (SOLD) Mac x Pony Park Extra Dimension Skinfinish in Sky’s The Limit (Used 2x lightly)- Limited edition $35
• (SOLD) Glossier Haloscope highlighter in Quartz (Used 2x)- Retails for $22, Asking $9
• (SOLD) Glossier Haloscope in Moonstone (Used 3x)- Retails for $22, Asking $9
• Fenty Killawatt highlighter duo in Lightning Dust/Fire Crystal (Used 5-6x)- Retails for $36, Asking $16
• Fenty Killawatt Freestyle highlighter in Wattabrat (Only swatched)- Retails for $36, Asking $16
• YSL Lumiere Divine highlighting finishing powder- Retails for $47, Asking $14
• Perricone No Makeup highlighter (Used 5-6x)- Retails for $35, Asking $14
• Charlotte Tilbury highlighter wand in Spotlight (Used 3-4x/took sponge off of applicator because I thought it dispensed better)- Retails for $38, Asking $14
• Urban Decay highlighter in Sin (Used 4-5x)- Retails for $26, Asking $6
• Kaja Roller Glow highlighter with clean roller in packaging (Used 1x lightly)- Retails for $28, Asking $8
• Kaja Mochi Glow in Prizm (Used 1-2x)- Retails for $19, Asking $4
• Kaja Mochi Glow in Toy Alien (ds) (Used 1x)- Asking $2
• Ofra Pillowtalk highlighter (ds)(Only used 1x)- Retails for $18, Asking $5
• Hourglass Vanish highlighter in Champagne Flash (ds .05 oz) (Only swatched)- Asking $2
• Nudestix Illuminaughty highlighter stick (ds .06 oz) (Only swatched)- Asking $2
• Nudestix Skin Glossing Pencil (Only swatched)- Retails for $26, Asking $5
• Becca Shimmering Skin Perfecter Slimlight in Pearl (Used 1x)- Asking $3
• Laura Gellar Baled Gelato Swirl Illuminator in Diamond Dust (ds)(Used 1-2x)- Asking $3
• (SOLD) Pixi Glowy Gossamer duo in Delicate Dew (Used 1x)- Retails for $15, Asking $3
• Make face gloss (New)- Retails for $25, Asking $5
• Maybelline Master Strobing Stick in Medium (Swatched only)- Retails for $9.99, Asking $2
• Ulta Beauty Illuminator in Brilliant Diamond (Swatched only)- Retails for $10, Asking $2
• (SOLD) Benefit Dandelion Shy Beam (ds .08 oz)(New)- Asking $1
BLUSH: Verification
• (SOLD) Glossier Cloud Paint in Dusk (Used 1-2x)- Retails for $18, Asking $9
• (SOLD) Glossier Cloud Paint in Beam (Used 1-2x)- Retails for $18, Asking $9
• (SOLD) Buxom Wanderlust primer infused blush in Mykonos (Used 3x)- Retails for $23, Asking $10
• Nudestix Nudies matte blush stick in Bareback (Used 3-4x)- Retails for $32, Asking $15
• Ilia multistick in A Fine Romance (Used 2-3x)- Retails for $34. Asking $15
• Stila convertible color cream blush in Peony (Swatched only)- Retails for $25, Asking $9
• Tarte Amazonian Clay blush in Paaarty (ds .05 oz)(Swatched only)- Asking $3
• Benefit Dandelion Dew (ds .16 oz)(New)- Asking $2
• Ulta mineral blush in Sweet Pea (Swatched only)- Retails for $12, Asking $3
• Stila aqua glow watercolor blush in shimmering lotus (Swatched only)- Retails for $4
• Milani baked blush in Delizioso Pink (Swatched only)- Retails for $9.49, Asking $2
• Milani baked blush in Bella Rosa (Swatched only)- Retails for $ 9.49, Asking for $2
• Elf blush in Shy (Used 2-3x)- Asking $.50
BRONZER\CONTOUR: Verification
• (SOLD) Cover Fx Monochromatic bronzer duo in Sunkissed- Retails for $38, Asking $15
• Milk Makeup bronzer stick in Baked (Used 1-2x)- Retails for $28, Asking $14
• Kylie Cosmetics bronzer in Khaki (Swatched only)-Retails for $18, Asking $7
• Bare Minerals Endless Summer bronzer in Faux Tan (Used 2x)- Retails for $29, Asking $13
• Fenty bronzer in Shady Biz (ds) (Swatched only)-Asking $4
• Benefit Hoola (ds) (Used 2x)- Asking $2
• Make dew pot in Bronze 2 (Used 4x)- Retails for $20, Asking $3
• NYX Micro Contour duo pencil in Light (Swatched only)- Asking $2
• Milani baked bronzer in 04 Glow (Swatched only)- Retails for $8.99, Asking $1
POWDERS: Verification
• Fenty Invisimatte blotting powder (Used 1x)- Retails for $32, Asking $14
• KKW brightening powder in 1 (Vanilla) (Used a few times)- Retails for $18, Asking $10
• (SOLD) Jaclyn Hill Cosmetics Mood Light luminous powder in Dew Me- (Swatched only)- Retails for $32, Asking $15
• Laura Gellar Baked Balance N Brighten powder foundation in Porcelain (Used 10x)- Retails for $34, Asking $7
• JCat Aquasurance powder foundation in Ivory (Used 3-4x)- Retails for $13.99, Asking $4
• Urban Decay Velvetizer mix in medium (ds .14 oz)- (Can use as regular powder) (Used 1x)- Retails for $17, Asking $4
• Ilia Fade Into You soft focus finishing powder (ds .05 oz) (Used 1x)- Asking $3
• Ilia Fade Into You soft focus finishing powder (ds .05 oz)- (Used 1x)- Asking $2
• Rimmel Stay Matte pressed powder in Creamy Natural (Used 6x)- Retails for $4.69, Asking $1
• Milani Prep, Set, Glow illuminating transparent pressed powder (Hourglass finishing powder dupe) (Used condition)- Retails for $9.99, Asking $1
FOUNDATIONS: Verification
• Fenty Pro Filt’r Matte longwear foundation in 120 (only used once)- Retails for $35, Asking $15
• Smashbox Studio Skin 15 hour wear foundation in .2 (Used 3-4x, bottle is about 7/8 full)- Retails for $38, Asking $13
• Laura Mercier Flawless Fusion Ultra-Longwear foundation in 1C1 Shell (Used a few times, bottle is almost full)- Retails for $48, Asking $15
• Laura Mercier tinted moisturizer in Porcelain (Used 2-3x, almost full)- Retails for $46, Asking $15
• Laura Mercier tinted moisturizer in Nude (ds .5 oz) (Used 1x)- Asking $2
• RMS Uncover Up foundation/concealer pot in 000 (Used 5-6x, a little over 3/4 full)- Retails for $36, Asking $14
• It Cosmetics YSBB full coverage CC Cream in Fair (a little over half full)- Retails for $39.50, Asking $9
• (SOLD) Estée Lauder Double Wear foundation in 1C0 Shell (Used 2-3x)- Retails for $43, Asking $15
• Makeup Forever Ultra HD foundation stick in Y225 (About 40-45% remaining)- Retails for $43, Asking $7
• Makeup Forever Ultra HD foundation stick in Y225 (About 20% remaining)- Retails for $43, Asking $4
• It Cosmetics Bye Bye Redness Neutralizing Correcting cream (About half full)- Retails for $34, Asking $7
• Loreal Infallible Total Cover foundation in 301 Classic Ivory (40-50% full)- Retails for $12.99, Asking $1
• Maybelline Superstay foundation in 112 (Only used once but the pump is stuck so it is hard to get foundation out without opening bottle/price will be lower because of this) (Used 1-2x)- Retails for $11.99, Asking $2
CONCEALERS: Verification
• Glossier Stretch concealer in G11 (about 7/8 full)- Retails for $18, Asking $9
• Dose of Colors Meet Your Hue concealer in 01 (used a few times)- Retails for $24, Asking $8
• It Cosmetics Bye Bye Undereye full coverage concealer in Light (used a few times)- Retails for $27, Asking $12
PRIMERS: Verification
• First Aid Beauty Hello Fab coconut skin smoothie priming moisturizer- Retails for $29, Asking $13
• First Aid Beauty Hello Fab Pores Be Gone matte primer- Retails for $29, Asking $13
• Milk Makeup Hydrogrip gripping primer (ds) (used 1x, mostly full)- Retails for $15, Asking $5
• Laura Mercier radiance primer (ds .5 oz) (Used 1x, mostly full)- Asking $2
• Becca First Light priming filter (ds .5 oz) (Used 1-2x)- Asking $2
• Maybelline Master blur stick primer in universal transparent (Used 1-2x)- Retails for $7.99, Asking $1.50
EYES/BROWS/LASHES: Verification
• Pat McGrath Dark Matter pigment- Part of the dark star labs set which was $95, Asking $15
• Huda Beauty Matte & Metal double ended liquid eyeshadows in Wednesday and Fro-yo- Retails for $25, Asking $15
• Melt Cosmetics single eyeshadow in Rubbish (Swatched only)- Retails for $17, Asking $9
• Glossier Boy Brow in Blonde (Used 1x)- Retails for $16, Asking $8
• Nudestix Magnetic Luminous eye color stick in Copper Foil (swatched only)- Retails for $26, Asking $8
• Nudestix Magnetic eye color stick in Twilight (swatched only)- Retails for $26, Asking $8
• Nudestix Magnetic eye color in Lilith (used 1x lightly)- Retails for $26, Asking $8
• Nudestix Magnetic matte eye color stick in Putty (swatched only)- Retails for $26, Asking $8
• Nudestix Magnetic matte eye color stick in Taupe (used 1x lightly)- Retails for $26, Asking $8
• (SOLD) Nudestix Nude Artist tin box- Asking $2
• Tarte Chrome Paint shadow pot in Top Yacht (swatched only)- Retails for $22, Asking $8
• Nars Velvet Shadow Stick in Hollywoodland (used 2x)- Retails for $20.30, Asking $6
• Stila Glitter & Glow in Perlina (ds) (used 1x)- Retails for $12, Asking $3
• Stila Glitter & Glow in Sunset Fire (ds) (new never used)- Came in set, Asking $3
• Stila Magnificent Metals foil finish eyeshadow in Metallic Gilded Gold (swatched lightly)(comes with box and mixing medium)- Can’t find retail because it’s discontinued, Asking $4
• Colourpop Zodiac loose pigment in The Crab (used 1-2x)- Retails for $6, Asking $3
• Colourpop single eyeshadow in Checkmate (comes in compact) (swatched only)- Retails for $4.50, Asking $2
• Colourpop SSS in Bandit (used 2x)- Retails for $6, Asking $1.00
• Colourpop SSS in Cornelious (Broken/price will reflect condition)- Retails for $6, Asking $.50
• Colourpop SSS in Brady (Broken/price will reflect condition)- Retails for $6, Asking $.50
• Colourpop pencil eyeliner in Mr. Bing (new)- Retails for $6, Asking $1.00
• Colourpop pencil eyeliner in Besto (used 5-6x)- Retails for $6, Asking $.50
• The Balm Batter Up eyeshadow stick in Outfield (used 1-2x)- Retails for $17, Asking $2
• The Balm Batter Up eyeshadow stick in Slugger (used 1-2x)- Retails for $17, Asking $2
• CoverGirl x Katy Perry Katy Kat Wink lashes in Kat Whiskers (New in box)- Asking $1.50
• Revlon brow mousse in Soft Brown (new)- Retails for $10.99, Asking $.75
• Revlon brow mousse in blonde (used 1x)- Retails for $10.99, Asking $.50
• Revlon Colorstay Bold creme eyeshadow in Cognac (swatched)- Retails for $8.49, Asking $.75
• Revlon Colorstay Bold creme eyeshadow in Merlot (swatched)- Retails for $8.49, Asking $.75
Lips: Verification
•Glossier generation g in jam- (older version) Never used, swatched 1x lightly on back of hand- Retails for $18, Asking $8
• Kylie Cosmetics lip kit in Koko K (no box) (new)- Retails for $27, Asking $12
• Nars Tonka lipstick (new with box but I just got it in the mail recently and it was broken on the bottom so it can fall out of tube and also the top is a little smashed so price will reflect condition)- Retails for $26, Asking $5
• Mac Lustre lipstick on See Sheer (More of a lip tint) (swatched 1x lightly on back of hand)- Retails for $19, Asking $8
•Mac cremesheen lipstick in Creme D’ Nude- never used, swatched 1x lightly on back of hand- Retails for $19, Asking $8
•?Mac amplified lipstick in Saint Germain- never used, swatched 1x lightly on back of hand- Retails for $19, Asking $8
• Urban Decay cream lipstick in Wired- Retails for $22, Asking $8
• Rodin luxury lipstick in Dahlia- never used, lightly swatched once on back of hand- Retails for $38, Asking $10
• Benefit Benetint (new)- Retails for $30, Asking $8
• (SOLD) Benefit Double the Lip lipstick & liner in one in Lusty Rose (swatched lightly on back of hand)- Retails for $20, Asking $4
• (SOLD) Benefit Double the Lip lipstick & liner in one in Nude Scandal (swatched lightly on back of hand)- Retails for $20, Asking $4
• Nars Velvet Matte lip pencil in Do Me Baby (ds .06 oz)- Asking $3
• Ofra liquid lipstick in Nude Potion (new)- Retails for $20, Asking $
• Ofra liquid lipstick in Verona (new)- Retails for $20, Asking $ • • Kat Von D liquid lipstick in Crucifx (used 2-3x)- Retails for $21, Asking $3
• Kat Von D liquid lipstick in Hawkwind (new)- Retails for $21, Asking $4
• Dose of Colors liquid lipstick in Flirty (new)- Retails for $18, Asking $
• Jeffrey Star liquid lipstick in Christmas Cookie (ds) Asking $3
• (SOLD) Fresh Sugar Poppy tinted lip treatment (ds .07 oz)- Asking $2
• Lipstick Queen lipstick in Medieval (ds .05 oz)- Asking $2
• Colourpop lippie stix in Little Tings (swatched)- Retails for $7, Asking $2
• Colourpop Ultra Metallic lip in Varsity Blues (used 1x)- Retails for $7, Asking $1.50
• Inc.redible rollerball glows in Choose Your Happy (new)- Retails for $10, Asking $1.50
• Maybelline shine lipstick in Baddest Beige (swatched)- Retails for $7.99, Asking $1.50
• Bite matte cream lip crayon in Glacé (ds) (swatched)- Asking $1
• Ella & Mila glossy liquid lipstick (New in box)- Retails for $14, Asking $1
• Nyx butter gloss in Sunday Mimosa (Used 1x)- Retails for $5, Asking $.50
•Loreal lipstick in Doutzen’s nude- Used 1x lightly, sanitized- Retails for $8.95, Asking $.50
•Covergirl x Katy Perry Katy kat matte lipstick in cosmo kitty- Used 1x lightly, sanitized- Asking $ $.50
• Nyx matte lipstick in pale pink (Used 2 times)- Retails for $6, Asking .50
BRUSH SET: Verification
• (SOLD) Set of brushes- Morphe M153, BH Cosmetics #1 pink brush from set, 2 Sonia Kashuk mini eye brushes, 2 Coastal Scent brushes, Mr Handyman brush, 1 Motd concealer brush, 2 AOA oval brushes, 2 random brushes- Asking $6
NAIL POLISH: Verification
• KL Polish in Wishbone- Retails for $8.50, Asking $6
• KL Polish in Casino Night- Asking $6
• (SOLD) KL Polish in Gemini- Asking $6
• KL Polish in Winter is Coming- Asking $6
SKIN: Verification
• (SOLD) Make succulent gel (a little over half left)- Retails for $25, Asking $4
• (SOLD) The Ordinary Caffeine Solution (new)- Retails for $6.70, Asking $3
• (SOLD)Nip Fab Dragons Blood Plumping serum (1 oz) (used 1x)- Asking $2
• (SOLD) Kate Somerville Wrinkle Warrior 2 in 1 plumping moisturizer and serum (ds .25 oz) (new)- Asking $1
• (SOLD) Earth to Skin super fruits blueberry exfoliating cleanser (1oz) (new)- Asking $.50
• (SOLD) Earth to Skin super fruits citrus day gel cream (.5 oz) (used 1x)- Asking $.50
• (SOLD) Proactive Green Tea moisturizer (ds .33 oz) (used 1-2x)- Asking $.50

RR link
Previous chapter (RETRO COSMOS)
​ #2 - THE TWISTED HEIST ​
A star had just gone out in the distance, sending its entire system, planets and moons, into oblivion. So, what was a simple life compared to a sun? Did the human existence that earthlings highly cherished in the past deserve so much fuss?
I would say no, of course, because I’m a cat. Our condition to us felines will never have to pale in front of a shiny astronomical object. Mine specifically, don’t you think?
Oswald Avery was merely a Homo sapiens. A retired buccaneer, fermenting his adulterated wine on the carcass of a drifting supercargo; all under the remodeled features of a former Galactic Trade Company’s pilot. Alas, regardless of the genetic disguise, the FID rarely lied. It hadn’t fooled us and the masks had fallen off. Just like him.
I’m such a poet.
Anyway… Avery had had a long life of crimes and adventures. He was full of energy in his youth. And as in the universe, nothing is lost, nothing is created, everything is transformed, this energy was reincarnated in a nice amount in our bank account once the old picaroon flatlined.
“We finally got it! And it was a traditional Martian contract. Payable remotely, on condition that the FID is validated. How about that?”
“God… Lee … you’re talking to yourself and it’s only 8 a.m.,” Ali grunted behind me.
My couch potato of an associate had her head still stuck in the cereal box she was nibbling before falling asleep binge-watching Captain Caveman on ABC.
“To begin with, it’s 8 p.m., Martian Time. And we do have a positive balance in our bank account for the first time in months! Do you know what that means, partner?”
“Shopping, bitches!” she shouted as she hurled herself into the void, gliding to the bathroom in the weightlessness.
With the cardboard box on the top of her head, this sugar bishop was swimming after the remnant cereals that floated on her path like Ms. Pac-Man.
“Hell! Have I just opened Pandora’s box?”
The liner Danaë and its forty-eight post-nuclear Baltimore-XVIII heavy reactors made its annual cruise from Lunapolis to the suburbs of Ceres, in the belt. Its figurehead with the effigy of the Greek princess was a two hundred meters long, green ceramic statue. The size of the ship exceeded some inhabited asteroids’ diameter so it possessed its own substantial gravitational field.
“It’s quite a symbol of the decline of humanity,” I said to Ali, pointing with my chin at this unique work of art.
“Why?” my partner asked without caring whatsoever. “Spill the beans, Plato.”
The Kitty had obtained permission to dock and began its approach. I concluded then:
“Humanity no longer erects great and beautiful things without turning them into a shopping mall.”
The gold and ivory Danaë was one of the most luxurious epicenters of human decadence in the system; comprising hotels, casinos, megastores and amusement parks spread over a dozen centrifugal rings. There was something for everyone’s wallet, ready to be emptied, whether one was welcomed at the port or had joined during the crossing.
And to my great regret, the cape of the Danaë was just passing by us that week.
“I believe we should keep our savings for the maintenance of the Swallow. The dashboard lights up like a Christmas tree. Some parts need to be changed…”
“You’re such a bore with your adult talks,” my partner said as she left the fitting room of a luxury chain overlooking the main deck. “What do you think of that? Sexy as fuck, right?”
Her camisole didn’t hide a single inch square of flesh and I subtly pointed it out to her:
“It’s a bit of a back-alley Sally.”
I took a blow on the nose which, this time, was amply justified.
“There’s nothing chicer than Borderline. You don’t know anything about fashion. It’s crazy!”
She was furious. It was entertaining. But she was right. The human female fads were way over my head and I wasn’t a good adviser. Mostly because I didn’t care. At all.
Fortunately, the upscale shopping mall where we were staying had provided us with a free assistant who was even more servile than a decerebrate canine. As usual, the robot carrier that accompanied us did the job by flattering her with its unbearable honeyed tone:
“I find you charming, Madame. Here we have the latest fashionable lingerie on Mars. It’s an ephemeral collection that appears to have been specially made to mold your discreet curves, which seem to have been sculpted by the seraphim.”
Ali gave me a satisfied look that I pretended to ignore. Then she backtracked into the fitting room to put her black suit and pink jacket back on.
I took the opportunity to climb on the shoulders of this silly robot, servant of our servants and last link in this hierarchy whose origins go back to Ancient Egypt.
“One more move like this and I’ll turn you into a gum dispenser.”
The automaton apologized before my partner’s head emerged from behind the silk curtains which were far too fragrant for my taste.
“I just checked; it’s too expensive anyway. I ain’t buying it,” she announced. “Can you order a taxicab to take us to the hotels’ ring? You’d be a sweetheart.”
Happy to leave this irascible human with her robotic slave, I proceeded to the nearest service terminal. By the time I requested a vehicle, a flying cigarette dispenser could light me a Lucky.
“It’s forbidden to smoke in our store, Monsieur.”
The customer attaché, in his blue silk suit with elephant legs, had appeared out of nowhere. Yet, with such a shiny tie, this punk should have dazzled me from the Kuiper belt.
“Please be kind and get me a Pepper Coke instead of ruining my eyesight…” I grumbled in response.
I was in an awful mood. I definitely hated shopping. And people. Yet the pedestrian avenues of the Danaë had a very exceptional population density. Perms were making a strong comeback, as were neon tattoos and overly open flowered shirts. Under the false UVA/B sun, it was a true dance of flesh, steel and plastic bodies with assumed nudity. Implants and surgery erased the hazards of the genetic lottery for better or worse. It was so superficial. So futile. So human.
“Hello, handsome!” Ali cried out, a large smile across her face. “Lee? You didn’t tell me you knew Christophe Lambert! You know I'm a huge Highlander fan!”
My partner had just joined me, arms loaded with bags massive enough to live in it, start a family and park my chromic Pontiac Firebird. All were filled with C$400 t-shirts and sneakers that she didn’t need and would only put on once.
“No smell. Hologram,” I conclude by throwing my cigarette butt through the smiling ghost.
“Shame!” Ali sighed.
She then looked at her terminal, and continued:
“Do you think I have time to grab a watch module? There are sales in the Japanese aisle! I saw some GD-8 that would go well with my new Game Pocket! This boat is fucking rad!”
Ali could not stop humming Who wants to live forever. I had to rub my temples to avoid a migraine before the arrival of our taxicab five minutes later.
These were miniature limousines with double fake leather benches, facing each other at the back. There was a minibar with expensive multicolored drinks and sugar-soaked snacks, the sapiens’ primary source of calories and high Gs space travel drug. For the sensitive, the smart-fridge provided diet sodas with aspartame, but no one took it. Finally, there were free Gauloise cigarettes next to the ashtray on the armrest. And even Tylenol!
“What a time to be alive!”
Right after leaving the fashion district, a soft voice of a young woman, who appeared to us through the armored porthole separating her from her customers, finally emerged from the cockpit:
“Good evening! I’m Miss Meera. At your service. Hotel de Saint-Malo, correct?”
I nodded. She smiled at us. She was beautiful with her incredibly dark night metal skin that contrasted strongly with her silvery-white hair. She also had charming ivory eyes with absolutely no reflection. They were a mesmerizing void of light.
In fact, it was so rare to deal with a real person, and not an AI, that we engaged rapidly in a lovely and honest discussion with Meera. We were mostly talking about life on the Danaë. As she stated, the rules on board were very strict, even military. All was done to make sure that the customer had the most pleasant time at the expense of everything else. Finally, according to her, her condition wasn’t the most to be pitied in the cosmos. And she was fully satisfied with this precarious semi-nomadic existence.
“And what about you? Are you here on vacation or in transit for work?” she eventually asked. “What do you do for a living?”
Should we have told her that we were executing infamous people so Ali would collect expensive t-shirts and I could fulfill my nicotine addiction?
“Don’t get me wrong but I saw that you had a gun. Are you in the police… or are you pirates?”
It wasn’t the first time someone asked us this question. Although weapons were allowed on most ships and stations, it wasn’t wise to display them unless you were looking for trouble. Unfortunately, hiding such a large caliber under such a tight vest was a Herculean task.
“You can get much farther with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone”, simply quoted Ali, her forehead against the window covered with scented stickers.
Meera laughed before continuing:
“Very well, Al Capone. I understand that you’re not the type to let yourself be taken advantage of.”
The taxicab entered the central expressway after the water park then suddenly swerved violently to the left.
“What is going on?” I gasped.
After crushing the safety railing, we fell from one rotating bridge to the other in a frantic cavalcade. Judging by Meera’s swear words, this ride wasn’t part of the show.
Avoiding the stalls of an art market and a group of children coming out of an arcade, the driver finally managed to recover in extremis. It was about time, because within seconds we were passing through the transparent protective wall of the hotels’ deck.
“A thousand apologies! Another one of those mor… clients from the Middle System who doesn’t know how to use a rental car,” she shouted through the window. “Are you guys hurt?”
“No, thanks to you,” I replied, my tail spiked over my head, taped to Ali’s neck now decorated with bloody scratches.
Although my human forehead now had a bump on it the size of a golf ball, it was true that Meera had just saved our lives. This young girl had unsuspected driving talents despite taxicabs’ lack of handling. She didn’t belong here, playing the steward in a yellow circus uniform. This woman should have been a fighter pilot; or a NASCAR driver on Canyon Creek.
“In any case, here you’re almost in front of your hotel,” she replied. “You don’t have to pay anything, and I apologize again for the scare.”
From the outside, the taxicab now looked like a can of nutrigel after going through a crusher. Yet, it still worked. May God Darwin bless Venusian steel.
After thanking her, we wished Meera a good day. But the cockpit window suddenly went down on the passenger side. The smile of the driver had faded. She had tears at the corner of her white eyes.
“Wait!” she asked. “This weapon… do you really know how to use it?”
So, life on the Danaë wasn’t so sweet. As Meera explained to us in a secluded alleyway, a trio of criminals had come to threaten her a few days earlier, after finding she was a bodacious driver. They were preparing a heist in one of the flying city’s fifty casinos. The young woman was now ready to pay the price to settle the case.
“What is your opinion about this whole situation?” I asked Ali, once in our room, a small yet cozy suite whose glass walls overlooked the vacuum of space.
My human had applied a brownish ointment on her hump, which disappeared soon after, leaving only a slight pinkish hematoma.
“Meera said she would provide us with more details tomorrow. However, if she ponies up the cash, I don’t see why we would refuse. We ain’t mercs but these three guys must have a bounty on their heads. Let’s do our job, right?
“Indeed…”
All we had to do was wait for more instructions. Fortunately, it had been months since we had been able to take days off except on miserable gas stations full of drug addicts, implants scavengers and prostitutes.
After another morning of shopping, Ali went to the thalassotherapy center of the neighboring hotel. Her main occupation? Overeating sushi made by 3D nutrigel printing while getting massages.
Alas, I didn’t have the time to bask under the false sun of the lakeside resort and get my belly stroked. As a good captain, I had to go to the maintenance to fix the numerous damages of the Kitty. As always, the bill would be higher than expected.
Everything was orchestrated so that we would never hold a positive balance in this corrupted system. We had to chain contract after contract.
But Meera’s gig didn’t sound right. There was something I didn’t like and I couldn’t catch it yet. All my cat sensors were in the red. Unfortunately, the bounty hunter’s ones only saw the green of the bills.
Don’t judge me.
The young taxicab driver had finally contacted Ali again by holoconference in the early afternoon, shortly before I joined her at the exit of the tanning booths. Or as I called them: human toasters.
“Have you finished roasting like a Thanksgiving turkey?” I asked her as she plunged into the icy water of the adjacent basin, under the lustful gaze of a group of cadets from the Marine Academy.
“Meera will pick us up with a new taxicab in the hotel parking lot,” she whispered once back to me. “Alongside her, we will meet two of the criminals at the burglary location, shortly before midnight.”
“Go on.”
“We take care of these guys and we catch up with the last one: the band leader, in the storage cavities of the hangar reserved for the ship’s logistics. Below the last rotating ring.”
In Eve’s costume, Ali came out of the basin, not without deliberately drenching me. The water had a nasty chemical taste from being filtered day after day.
“Do you have any intelligence on these jokers?” I insisted while lighting a cigarette.
“The Broadway Gang. Three brothers. C$45,000 for the trio. We will also be able to recover at least C$10,000 of Techno-federal tax on their ship depending on its condition. Easy cash with the dollar credits that Meera promises us…”
Now sitting on the ledge, my partner splashed her feet to demonstrate her eagerness to head back swimming.
“Excellent! This will pay for the maintenance and allow us to save some money on our way to the belt.”
“Can I go now?” she asked, sliding back into the water.
“You may,” I had concluded before seeing her leave for her absurd wanderings that would fill her afternoon.
I myself was very busy making eyes at the wealthy guests of the hotel restaurant to glean a few pieces of Peking duck or juicy crabs. They were real farm animals from Mars. Not nutrigel. It was worth abandoning a little dignity aside.
With a full belly, I finally joined Ali in the middle of the evening. Arriving in the corridor of our suite, I crossed the group of cadets noticed near the swimming pool. They seemed tired but blissfully smiling as they just discovered the nirvana. And I knew why…
“Ali? Are you ready?” I said as I walked through the half-open bedroom door.
Her dressing gown had been thrown on the floor. Her gun and badge were resting on the bedside table against a giant bottle of Koala Springs soda and a pyramid of little Yoyo Mints.
To be honest, I expected a bigger mess.
“Gimme five minutes,” she replied while in the shower.
An hour later, we met Meera in the staff parking lot behind the recycling stations. Without further discussion, we joined the expressway in the taxicab. Between two noisy info-ads, the radio played Sweet Transvestite then the rest of the mythical Rocky Horror soundtrack.
“I wonder what Tim Curry’s up to these days,” asked Ali while browsing the intraweb on her implant.
“Being legendary as usual,” I answered.
Afterwards, the casino was in sight. But once on the forecourt illuminated by the gold and silver bulbs, we heard gunshots and screams. My partner and I quickly realized that this was a violent robbery rather than a modest heist.
“What the fuck, Meera?” Ali asked, turning to the porthole that separated us from the cockpit.
There was a hint of irritation in her voice.
Meera remained mute, her hands on the wheel and her gaze forward. In the rear-view mirror the young woman looked panicked.
The right door of the vehicle suddenly opened and two men sat down in front of us. They were wearing theater masks: the first was Melpomene, the sad grimace of tragedy; the second, Thalia, the twisted smile of comedy. Each brigand carried a huge metal block under his arm; drawers that were sure to be full of cash. On the other hand, they held their still smoking ZeG-4 machine guns even more firmly.
When they saw us, they both gasped, in unison:
“What the fuck, Meera?”
One… two. One… two.
Four holes in their faded tuxedo. Four bullets as big as a cat’s eye that silenced them forever, before slowly repainting the bench in red.
“What the fuck was that? You killed them!” Meera shouted this time, as she started the electric engine. “You had tasers at your disposal, you psychos!”
She had finally turned around. Her voice was quivering. She was no longer panicked, but angry.
The tasers must have slipped between the seats because I hadn’t seen them. My partner raised her eyebrows and it made me realize that their use had never been in mind.
“We’re bounty hunters, not 9 to 5 social workers!” continued Ali. “Now, you gotta motor, otherwise the cops will shoot our ass on the spot before we could even meet the third dude!”
Meera put her foot on the pedal and one could almost hear the noise of the thrusters melting the white asphalt.
“I can perceive the sirens, Ali,” I concluded before Meera entered the ring's external road reserved for logistic transport.
We then had the shortest car chase we had taken part in. The Danaë security forces may not have had the best elements in the system, but Meera’s talents didn’t give them a chance. We had crossed half a dozen rotative bridges to the rhythm of Take on Me, zigzagging between expressways and maintenance tunnels to arrive before the song ended at the deserted logistics hangar.
It was similar to a huge supermarket with honeycombed shelves. Each of these garages, dimly illuminated by red LEDs, housed a delivery or transport vessel. There was the most impressive fleet I had ever seen.
In one of the first level’s cells stood, between a set of clamps, a Swift-0 scout, from Peugeot Corp, with wings spread. The Swifts were small and very high-end single-seaters. They could be modified to integrate weapons systems, but their primary characteristics were velocity and evasion.
Leaning on the flank of the mono-turbine, the last of the three criminals, a tall blond man with a “Chevy Chase” prominent chin was looking down on the approaching taxicab.
“Were they planning to escape on that ship? The three of them?” I remarked when the vehicle stopped a few meters from the small vessel.
But Meera ignored me.
“Hand me the money, I’m going out. That was the agreement.”
The porthole opened at its base, allowing us to pass the steel cash drawers. Once the taxicab’s ignition was turned off, only their holographic numbers glowed in the dark.
“It’s all over if his cronies don’t stick their noses out of the car,” Ali replied, finally giving the second drawer away. “He’s going to figure out that it went south. He will kill you!”
Outside, the man was getting impatient. Blinded by the taxicab’s headlights, he came closer before exclaiming:
“Zéphyr, are you there? Where are my brothers? Security is closing all the departure modules. We will be stuck here, for fuck’s sake!”
He now had a gun in his hand. A machine gun identical to those of his companions currently bathed in their blood, nailed to the seats.
“Zéphyr? Wait… I know that name!” I meowed to myself.
The doors and portholes of the taxicab were locked. Ali and I were now stuck in the back with the two flatlined and most wanted criminals on the ship.
“Sorry guys, but I’ll handle the rest.”
Miss Meera, alias Zéphyr, smiled at us through the armored glass just before leaving the cockpit by the driver’s door.
“What a fucking piece of shit… Lee? Do you have a plan? I think the windows are bulletproof. I don’t feel like testing. Especially if it’s bouncing around with us inside, we will be turned into ground beef!”
“Did you forget who I am, my dear?”
I was already crawling under the seat, between a pair of Méduse shoes and half nibbled fried rat wings. It was time to demonstrate all my infiltration skills learned from Ninja Gaiden. Unfortunately, both the crab and the duck slowed me down and my belly remained for a few seconds stuck under the driver’s seat with my head on the brake pedal. How outrageous!
From the porthole, I saw Ali watching what was happening in front of us, near the ship. Our eyes met for a brief moment and I could read on her lips: “diet kibble”.
“Better off dead!” I shouted.
My paw reached the bottom of the dashboard, activating the mechanical opening of doors and windows. And, accidentally, the loudest horn in this dimension.
“My bad!”
My sapiens immediately jumped outside, pointing her gun to Zéphyr. Surprised by the thunderous din, her target pivoted towards us, uncovered, turning her back to the human with the magnificent chin and his ZeG-4 who yelled:
“What in the whole universe is that? Wait! I know her! Did you bring us bounty hunters? You were clearly planning to double-cross us!”
The man shouted and his gun produced a rain of bullets. It first hit the windshield of the taxicab, passing through the conductor compartment where I was. The rounds bent the windscreen, but it held. This wasn’t, however, the case for the hood, protecting the engine and the reservoir full of coolant, which ended up covering the seat and my face.
Fortunately, the sticky alcohol allowed me to escape from this trap and jump out of the vehicle through the window I had previously opened. But, once again, a fire ring enveloped the ZeG-4’s cannon.
“This is how I die…” I meowed, eyes closed.
I was violently tackled and hit the ground. Zéphyr had saved me at the last moment, just before bullets obliterated the front of the taxicab.
Other projectiles ricocheted off the metal money drawers on the floor and got lost in the ceiling, activating the fire sprinklers. This incident triggered a silent light alarm throughout the hangar while the mobster prepared a new salvo.
“Don’t hurt my pilot, you narbo!” roared my partner.
Ali, this time taken as a target, retaliated. She fired a single shot towards the rascal with a formidable precision. No one knew how to handle such a heavy gun as she did. She was my human. She was the best in her field: murder.
And I taught her everything. Almost.
The leader of the robbers tried to reload the magazine of his weapon, unaware that his heart had been punctured a few seconds before. Adrenaline was doing its job. But the blood loss caused by the explosion of the aorta at its base, near the ventricles, gradually stopped him in his gesture. His pressure dropped and the bloodstream no longer reached the brain sufficiently. He was already in a coma when his shoulders touched the ground. He was luckier than the average Joe and died a few seconds later.
“Is everything all right?”
My voice was trembling, still in shock from this disaster. I was wet and frozen.
Zéphyr got up with difficulty. Next to us, one of the metal drawers was opened, revealing a bunch of green bills and a much stranger booty: an eight-inch gold diskette with suspicious Chinese symbols.
Well… I couldn’t read them but Chinese symbols on stuff are always suspect, aren’t they?
But there were more important matters. Because my partner, on the other hand, stayed on the ground. Blood was dripping from her black suit and mixed with the clear firefighting fluid that was falling like an endless rain.
I tried to talk to her again but my voice was lost in a groan.
“Why are you whining, you big baby? It’s just blood.”
With her nose in a puddle, my sapiens smiled at me. Her left hand was compressing her abdomen. The bullet had passed through the external oblique muscle, far from the stomach.
It wasn’t that bad after all but she had scared me. And that deserved a scratch on the wrist that made her scream:
“What the fuck?”
“And the medical expenses? Have you thought about medical expenses? We don’t have insurance!”
“God, Uncle Scrooge! I hate you!”
“We won’t be able to fix the Kitty with your heroic outbursts!” I fulminated to mask my joy of seeing her in one piece.
“I will kill you, Muppet! I almost died! I don’t give a fuck about your rusty trash can which flies like a brick!”
It was true that we hadn’t had a fight for a long time.
“Guys…” intervened Zéphyr.
“What?”
Ali and I had spoken together.
“These three ruffians had planned to steal the diskette drive from me once I got back. I needed a hand, so… thank you… I guess.”
“You’re welcome,” my human answered dryly while sitting.
Although Zéphyr saved me, I didn’t share the same kindness:
“Wait, we’re not letting him go! Do you know who he is?”
Zéphyr. Prince of thieves. And yes, he wasn’t much of a princess either. Just an androgynous cyborg. A breakout king wanted throughout the entire system for his affiliation with the Data Brokers’ Guild. With an incredible bounty of C$800,000, she or he… whatever… was the knight of the brokers’ chessboard.
“I think we’ve had enough for today,” Ali said. “Unless you hope to go after him with these big fat guts of yours.”
“By the 79 moons of Jupiter, you shall pay for this, woman!” I meowed, angry.
My ears were backwards and my hairs were spiky. But soaking wet, it just made Ali and Zéphyr laugh.
Disgrace!
“He’s so cute when he’s furious,” he joked.
Now on his knees, the night-skinned androgynous was blotting Ali’s wound with a torn piece of fabric from his driver’s uniform.
“But more seriously, I need to go. With the bounty, you’ll be able to repair your vessel. As for the hospital fees, I will contact a good friend who will take care of you for free. She’s the ship’s chief medical officer.”
“Thank you,” I simply replied as he helped my partner get back on her feet.
“It’s the least I can do. I wasn’t interested in money. More important information is contained in this,” he said as he was picking up the floppy disk.
This golden diskette must have been worth a lot of cash for Zéphyr to play a taxicab driver to ensure coverage. I had perceived that something was fishy!
Then, halfway to his Swift-0, Zéphyr stopped. I witnessed his hesitation.
“There was nothing personal, you know. We’re all just trying to make our way. The best we can…”
And he ultimately left before adding:
“Maybe we’ll see each other again! You seem like fun.”
Before fleeing away, Zéphyr abandoned one of the boxes near the criminal’s corpse. Thus, he validated the theory of a robbery that had gone wrong. When the security arrived a few minutes later, we were the heroes of the day. And with a little bribe, nobody cared about Zéphyr’s missing ship.
This whole story surely left us a bitter taste. A feeling of defeat and humiliation that the swimming pool under the synthetic sun couldn’t make disappear even a week after.
“He undoubtedly played us as we were rookies, with his little face of a young innocent girl in distress,” I said to Ali right after the end of the daily Brett Maverick.
This old show was dispensed on a couple of giant screens suspended by drones.
Until now, Ali had remained silent on her deckchair; with a brick of sour juice stuck between her breasts and a pair of straws between her teeth. Only inaudible grunts emanated from her mouth since the departure of the sexually unclassifiable mugger.
“I wonder what information this fucking cyber-Tootsie could have been looking for in that casino,” my human mumbled as she squeaked her rainbow flip-flops.
“Admit that it’s not really that question that puts you in such a state…” I answered, now well installed on my motorized buoy that I had gotten as a gift in a diet kibbles package.
“You bet! I will have a nasty tan mark on my stomach with these bandages!” she exploded, spitting out her plastic straws with infinite curls.
My float slipped towards the ledge as a robot came to bring us our next glucose overdose.
Ali finally added:
“I swear that if we run into him again, I’ll smack his fucking angel face.”
Back to business!

Hello and welcome to my usual review for the Bloodcraft cards in the new set, as always , these reviews are focused on Rotation but I'll mention Unlimited if the card has the potential to be played there.
This time, we see the rotation of Rebirth of Glory, a set that started stupidly strong for Blood but ended up being nerfed and most of the cards pretty much stopped seeing play in any truly competitive deck, except Azazel and Yurius, with the former being a staple for slower non-Wrath decks, allowing Blood to protect itself from any OTKs that rely on single big instances of damage and making some Vengeance cards like Yurius and Burning Constriction to proc their Vengeance effects with a bit more safety. Also, even though I do understand Azazel's rotation will hit hard for the class in some parts, I think Archangel of Evocation can somewhat replace him, not fully but I don't think there's a huge lot of OTKs that Archangel can't help against.
So, with Storm Over Rivayle Blood gets a new archetype: Highlander, the last time we saw a push for Highlander decks, it was with Mjerrabaine, but that was for every class, this time is exclusive for Bloodcraft and with a clear focus, cheat out things from your deck and make them bigger with the amulets. It's weird that Blood out of all classes gets the Highlander treatment but, personally, I'm a huge fan and even if this archetype ends up being a meme, I'll definitely enjoy it. We also get some small but meaningful support for Baal Aggro Blood, a deck that took off the last few weeks, being able to go under some decks with its aggression.
One thing I'll say before we start, I like the fact that a lot of the cards are self-sufficient, they aren't exclusively tied to the archetypes they're supposed to be in nor they have huge requirements to make them good. I will try to talk about the cards in general but when I get to Volteo, I'll mention how they become better with him.
But that's enough, let's check the cards out.
Bronze Rarity
-Scrappy Werewolf: One thing I'll do is talk first about the cards that are not meant to be the focus of the set, like this one. This card is really strong, a 2/2 Rush for 2pp is already decent but adding the ping and the Wrath effect makes her power roof much higher, after all, who doesn't want a 3/3 Storm for that cheap of a cost?
She'll definitely see play in Unlimited even if Aggro Wrath isn't too hot right now, in Rotation, she will replace either Antelope Pelt Warrior or Whiplash Imp, she will not make Wrath a competitive deck on her own but I've tested a more aggressive/tempo oriented versionn of Wrath and she fits extremely well in it.
-Fulminating Berserker: If you've seen my posts going aroud,d you'll know that LastFawful and me always complain about Blood getting nothing but Conditional Storm for ages, pretty much since Purson got printed, so I like the card because they broke the trend. Now, talking about the card seriously, it's definitely not bad and the best thing it has is flexibility, his Accelerate is decent to great depending on wether you can meet the amulet condition or not, which it's easy with this set's theme, the card as a 9/6/6 Storm is ok, I wish he would cost 1pp less to make him a bit more reliable as midrange finisher but it's a little cost for how flexible he is, I have yet to find a really good play to make after getting his PP refund effect outside of using Illya or some more burn spells but even then, they do increase the amount of damage you can do in the turn you play Berserker.
It's been a while since Blood has used a 2pp Deal 3 to a follower spell, if Control Blood makes a return or the meta allows it, I can see this card being played quite a bit in Midraneg/Control decks.
-Roulette Vampire: With this we start to see the theme for the class, with an emphasis on the APCs, giving Ward and a lot of health to our followers. Now, the card itself I like quite a bit and I think it's strong because if you play him for his Accelerate not only are you setting up a good Turn 6 where you might save an evo because you can simply trade with him, with a chance he survives due to his high health, but your turn after playing him for his accelerate will have a big follower thanks to the APC he summons, probably being a stronger turn if you can follow it up with a Rush follower, a very valuable pick in Take 2.
Overall, he's fairly strong, unfortunately I don't see him being played a lot due to him not fitting the Blood decks the class is used to play but he's good value.
-Spiderweb Array: This card is really strong, specially with how easy it is to get its condition. At its worst it's a 3/1/4 Ward that stops a follower from attacking next turn, it isn't too bad as the "Can't attack for a turn" debuff gets better the longer the game goes with bigger creatures, with the condition met, then it's a 3/4, which is pretty good for 3pp. The best thing is that with the new amulets, she'll end up being either a 4/5, 4/7 or 5/4 with Rush, with the first case being possible on curve if you played the new Bronze neutral follower that summons a Dutiful Steed. I would really keep an eye out for this card.
Also, it's interesting to see Blood also getting the "Can't attack" effects from Forest, thematically, it makes sense that Spiders would apply that effect and I want to see more of it.
Silver Rarity
-Bloodfall: This card can be difficult to assess, it's completely useless against 4+pp followers after all but it's very efficient for any follower that costs 2 or 3pp and gets big. It's good in those situations where your opponent evolves a low cost follower in the midgame, though that can turn this card into something like 1pp "Deal 2-3 damage to an enemy follower that costs 3pp or less" depending on the evolved follower being damaged.
The best scenario out of all, and probably the reason I might have to use this as a tech card, is getting rid of an evolved Kagemitsu for really cheap in the lategame.
-Redcap: A simple but very effective card, it's clearly meant to be played with the APCs or the Bullet Bikes to get a 3/4/4 but the best thing is that you don't entirely need them to get his increased stats because you get an Executioner's Axe, so you can play this as a 4/4/4 or 7/6/6 Rush, or just save the Axe for later turns.
A really good card, I want to see it being played, I have the idea of it finding a spot in Baal Blood, play it on 3 and then use the axe on 4 for a 6/6 or playing another card and then using the axe to turn him into a 4/4, futhermore, the Axe can be used as fodder for Showdown Demon, the new gold.
-Craps Devil: We're not stranger to 1/2 Bane followers, they're good to have in theory but very few times they're actually ran in decks, I believe Scorpio being one due to it having the recurrent ping for Lust decks back in OotT and Legendary Skeleton is a similar one but with his own effects. Now, I see this card usually having Rush or Ward with bigger stats, making it way stronger, all while you get some random healing from it, if it gets to survive a turn you can benefit from the healing again. In the end, this requires a bit more work than the past followers but when you can use his effects, he's great.
Gold Rarity
-Hazan, Demonblade Knight: Even though Hazan only evolves with Wrath active, he's very similar to Righteous Devil but now you clear 2 followers. In Wrath decks it can be a bit harder to fit but if the deck needs more healing/removal, I'm sure this can be run, in other decks, it's just a very good evolve target, 8 defense on turn 4 is a lot which allows him to clear 2 things and probably live. Otherwise, he pairs really well with any buff, maybe you kept an Executioner's Axe and Hazan lives, play the Axe for its enhance and goe face for 8 damage!
-Showdown Demon: Out of all the followers with the Casino and APC theme, Showdown Demon is the one with the least synergy with them, outside of evolving her for a Bullet Bike or APC, it's completely random between the two though, so don't evolve her unless you really need to as you might want to use the bike in that moment but you get the APC instead, both options can still be used by Craps Devil or Redcap though. Realistically, you'll be playing this card solely for the Fanfare, you could use it very early as a "2nd Mulligan" as you dig for your important cards, she'll definitely see play in Baal decks, helping you to find Baal/Corruption and with a cool and interesting play: Play her and discard 2 cards, then Fusion some cards to Baal and play Baal, drawing until you have 6, next turn you'll draw 3 cards, netting you a full hand to use however you want.
Legendary Tier
-Vuella, Unblemished Wings: Though it's good to see Vuella back in rotation and her card is not bad, her design is just plain and boring, one could mistake this card for a gold nowadays, her having reduced evolve stats also seems weird considering that we have cards that also evolve for free (be it on their own or with the 0EP clause) and get their full stats with it. Still, all that doesn't mean that she won't be played,she'll be going inmediately to Baal Blood due to it having the easiest time to evolve her, I also like to think she'll find a place in more decks in the future as a Maisha-like card, a full statted 3 drop that cantrips, with the added benefit of having Storm later into the game, oh and you can actually attack the leader without being evolved, unlike Maisha.
With a set full of buffs, I find it a bit hard to buff Vuella to make her a bit more impactful when she evolves.
-Volteo, Hedonistic Dealer: I was a huge fan of Jerry and I'm very happy to see Highlander decks be supported again. Now, talking about the card itself, yes, I can totally see why people don't like Volteo, having to run an inconsistent list with single copies usually needs a big payoff, is cheating out creatures from your deck big enough nowadays? Maybe, maybe not, it's very difficult to judge until the actual set releases and the deck gets refined, after all, we need to see how the meta develops and how to build the most effective list that can abuse Volteo's effect, I've seen ideas like cutting most low cost followers to increase the chances of pulling Luzen, Spider or Lucifer, others run it as a more traditional Midrange list that closes the game with the value from the effect.
Now, what cards are just great targets to pull from the deck? The clear ones are Luzen, Ruinweb Spider and Lucifer, they are big and have really good effects, with Lucifer being the best one to get early to start attacking the enemy leader, Spider being great if you get it the turn after Volteo is played and Luzen just being good against decks with burn like Rune spamming Runies. Now, if you get just big followers like Behemoth or Vampire of Calamity you'll get 9+ defense wards that might just be too big for your opponent.
In the mid cost pool there isn't a lot outside of some well statted followers like Shiva or Roulette Vampire. Low cost followers that are good to pull can be a fair amount of the new Neutral ones alongside Blood ones like Redcap and Craps Devil.
Possible decks in the new Set
-Baal Blood: The most obvious one, even if it only gets 2 new toys to try out, the deck has proven to be strong and the new cards are strong inclusions, probably the deck that leads the Bloodcraft flag for a while and one of the few Aggro decks in Rotation.
-Highlander Blood: Hard to judge but you'll find me playing this a lot, trying to find the best list.
-Amulet Buffs Blood (?): The idea behind this is using the new cards without Volteo, looking to buff your followers and trigger their effects, probably finishing the game with Fulminating BerserkeVuella. Unfortunately, it might just end up being a weak Midrange Sword, though it's not fair to compare it.
And that's it, I would love to hear your opinion on the cards, specially after trying out the prerelease these past few days, I unfortunately didn't get a single of the gold/legendary for Blood but I've seen Volteo decks just pop off.