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I am 31 years old make $135k live in Northern Virginia and work as a Management Consultant

Section One: Assets and Debt
Retirement Balance
· $122,600 split between 401k and Roth 401k. In college my first employer offered a 401k match up to 3%. While I had student loans I believe I only contributed 5%. After transitioning to a new company with a new match (25% of the first 6%) increased my 401k contribution to 7%. The firm then brought on a Roth 401k plan about 2 years after I started working there, so then I started investing an additional 8% in the Roth 401k.
· $22,350 in a firm sponsored pension plan. I don’t know much about this plan as it is managed completely by the firm. I became fully vested after 3 years.
Equity
· This is probably the most interesting thing about my money diary, but also may be the most difficult for me to explain. I currently co-own one property with my fiancé (FH) that we own outright. Although we own the property outright in a legal sense, we paid for it using a Home Equity Line of Credit (HELOC), leveraging FH’s parents existing home assets to secure a loan, that was treated as cash during the home buying process. Benefits of leveraging the HELOC were that we could receive a loan with a lower interest rate than a mortgage, that we will also leverage the same loan in future planned construction for the home, and that we were able to close in 15 days which benefited us during the offer process as there was a competing offer. If we had a standard mortgage loan, our home equity would be roughly $229k, with $200k paid initially into the HELOC or what I would consider to be the down payment ($100k from each of us). Once home construction is complete, we will convert the HELOC into a 30 year mortgage loan. That will likely not occur until 2022.
· FH also co-owns another home with his brother that is currently a rental property. I have no legal ties to the property at this time and only have a general idea about the current equity and debt.
Savings account balance
· $33k – this money is a combination of money reserved for existing wedding contracts, safety net, and the payment for our architect, engineering, and site plans for future construction on the home discussed above
Checking account balance
· $14k – At the beginning of the pandemic, I was hoarding cash out of fear. Now I am trying to move most of these funds to the HELOC
Credit card debt
· The average balance of my credit card seems to hover around $2000, however I pay my credit card in full every month so I do not pay interest on my debt
Student loan debt
· None – My parents paid for my first 3 years of college (BS Economics) , and I paid for my last year using student loans (~10k) and paid the loan off in my first two years of my working career. At the time I was living with my aunt and uncle and directed a majority of my income to paying off the loan as quickly as possible.
OTHER
· HSA - $4k – I come from a military family, who’s healthcare was 100% funded by the government. I have been in good health for most of my adult life and did not understand the benefits of HSA contributions until one of my friends, a former healthcare consultant, explained why I needed to be contributing the max contribution every year. I regret not investing in my HSA sooner, especially now that I have a baby on the way.
· Stock - $3k – I invested $3k into robin hood stocks, some are doing great, some are doing terrible, so I am pretty much at break even.
Section Two: Income
I am in this odd middle space where I do not have combined finances with FH but we treat our money as shared. We divide certain expenses between us a bit arbitrarily, and do not monitor each other’s daily spending, but do discuss major purchases. Combined HHI is $235k.
Income Progression:
· My first career after college was a business analyst on a helpdesk for a tech product. My salary was $45k. I stayed there for roughly 2 years and was promoted with a role change after 1 year to $60k. At the time $45k was probably under market rate for the area, so the jump to $60k felt like a huge increase.
· That company ended up in some legal troubles so I quickly sought out a lateral job change, and did not focus on trying to gain a promotion or salary increase. I still work at the same professional services firm that I jumped to, starting at $65k. I have been with them for over 6 years at this point, through 2 title changes, 2 relocations, and 2 org changes, now making $135k.
Main Job Monthly Take Home:
· $6k/month ($3k paid out on the 15th and the end of month) after taxes, HSA, healthcare (medical, dental, vision), and retirement.
Section Three: Expenses
Rent
· $0 - We currently live with FH parents to save money for future construction. We moved in with them in August. Everything we save in rent and other independent living expenses goes towards our HELOC. Previous rent was $1900 in a HCOL city.
Mortgage
· A follow on to the HELOC discussed in the equity section. We are only required to pay the monthly interest payment on the HELOC, which is roughly $900, however we deposit roughly $7k/mo ($3500/mo each from me and FH) into the HELOC, between rent from current tenants, and the categories noted above in the rent section.
Home owners insurance
· FH pays for home owners insurance
Savings contribution
· $0 - Since we already have quite a bit of money set aside for emergency, wedding, and architecture plans, and have no vacations planned for the foreseeable future, I will not allocate any more funds to savings, and direct and additional money towards the HELOC.
Investment contribution
· $1600/mo for the retirement accounts discussed in assets. No others at this time. In May, I had about $100k in mutual funds, and then pulled all that money to be used as an initial payment to the HELOC. Once we convert our HELOC to a home mortgage, I will start investing in mutual funds again. I will need to pay taxes on gains this year, which I have not yet estimated, and am now cringing on the inside for.
Debt payments
· I pay my credit card in full every month
Donations
· After being hooked on moneydiariesACTIVE for the past month, I am embarrassed to say that I do not donate regularly to a single organization, when I see everyone else being quite generous. It is on my to do list now to pick a charitable organization and start donating regularly. As for my one off donations, this past month I donated $10 to Wikipedia, and $100 and 14 inches of my own hair to Wigs4Kids.
Cellphone
· $139 – I pay the cellphone bill for my mom, dad, and myself
Subscriptions
· I mooch off of FH’s amazon and Netflix subscriptions, and from his parents HBO MAX, apple TV+ and, a relatives HULU. I just recently cancelled my free year of the Disney+ subscription through Verizon.
Car payment / insurance
· $67 – FH and I share his car (already paid off), and I pay insurance for both of us since I get the best rate through USAA, a benefit of being a former military dependent
Section four: Other things:
Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?:
· Yes, there was an expectation for me to attend higher education. My parents received their bachelor’s degrees in night school through the GI bill, and always talked about their life plans for us to attend traditional universities, and that they had money set aside for us to attend. I never saw an alternative path for myself, although my sibling decided not to attend university. ·
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent/guardian(s) educate you about finances?:
· Growing up I was under the assumption that we were poor, mainly because my mom would outright claim we were poor and weren’t able to afford things. Now that I am an adult, I realize that my mom and dad were huge savers and were only willing to spend money on the important things, such as their home, our education, and one vacation a year, keeping their budget really tight for everything else. My dad has been retired from the military for some time now, and all the saving that my parents did (+my dad’s military pension) has allowed my mom to retire early as well. I would call them good financial role models to look up to, but claiming we were poor growing up was a bit extreme, untrue, and probably unnecessary. As far as direct conversations about money, debt, and credit, my mom said to always save as much money as you can, reduce recurring expenses as much as possible, reconcile your credit card statements, pay off your credit card bill in full every month, and homes and mutual funds are the only good investments.
What was your first job and why did you get it?:
· I worked part time at a clothing store folding clothes for 1 month before being let go because I was too young?? Apparently, the age cutoff was 17 but I was 16 at the time, not sure how they missed that on my application. I spent that money on a jr prom dress and prom ticket, because I figured my parents wouldn’t buy me one.
Did you worry about money growing up?:
· Superficially, yes. I knew there would always be dinner on the table, but if I wanted to do anything fun, I would typically pay for it myself. I didn’t save any of my money high school because I paid for all of my extracurriculars. I also got into a car accident in high school and paid my parents back for the repair.
Do you worry about money now?:
· I did not worry about money until we started this home construction process. I now worry that construction building materials are x3 the price they were before the pandemic and worry about what our monthly mortgage payment will be when we convert to a mortgage loan.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?:
· I was financially responsible for myself for 7 years. Starting at 23, when I moved out of my aunt and uncles house and got my own apartment and was responsible for all bills. As of May, I am no longer financially independent again, as we are leveraging FH’s parent’s assets for our HELOC.
· For a financial safety net, FH and I both have savings to leverage, as well as retirement accounts if we are very desperate. I do not consider my in-laws to be an additional financial safety net, because we are already leveraging their assets, and since my parents are already retired, they only have limited income every month.
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income?:
· Indirectly. My parents gave me $7k as a wedding gift, which came from my grandpa’s inheritance to my dad.
DIARY
Day 1
· 8am - first alarm goes off, and my phone has fallen in between the mattress and the wall. Luckily I can fish it out by pulling the cord back up, and go back to sleep. I rarely get good sleep anymore as being pregnant is generally uncomfortable, so I usually snooze no matter how early I go to bed. FH gets out of bed at 8:30 for tennis, and I lay in bed strolling IG and reddit until 9am. At this point I boot up my laptop, eat two bowls of honey bunches of oats, make a single cup of decaf coffee, and get to work. When i say get to work, surf the internet for an hour before I even think of being productive, I have a light load for work this week. Yesterday was my birthday so I reply to a few bday emails from our leadership team. My director probably let them know late last week that my birthday was coming up, she's extremely thoughtful and makes it important that her team is recognized for both personal and professional milestones and accomplishments.
· Noon - Place an order with Kate Quinn for baby clothes. I just discovered her last week through a reddit post on gender neutral baby outfits, and she’s having a price point sale so everything I purchase is 50% off. 2 footie pajamas, 2 panda pants, 2 kimono long sleeve onesies, 2 knee high socks, 2 bibs, 2 large bow headbands, and a bunny hat. I have been really good with baby purchases, getting a lot of items second hand, but I really wanted to splurge on some clothes since this is my first baby and she will be born in the middle of winter. I’m making a lot of excuses for myself to justify my guilt in spending so much money. $141I've also been sitting on a saks off 5th cart over the weekend. We just recently moved back to Northern Virginia and it’s a much colder winter than where we were living for the last 2 years, so I'm in the market for winter accessories. I have 3 cashmere beanie’s (2 for me, 1 for FH) and some leather gloves in my cart. Over the weekend, one of the hats goes out of stock, and the gloves are final sale, so I end up removing those as well since I have short fingers and don’t know if they are going to fit. I'm under $99 so I have to pay for shipping :( $85
· 1pm – FH’s parents are friends with a restaurant owner, and FH dad regularly works on his network and security setup for his restaurant, so he is always sent home with food. We eat that for lunch several days a week. FH’s birthday present for me comes in, a Shark handheld vacuum inspired by Mrs. Hinch, an IG home cleaning influencer from the UK who has a gorgeous home, dog, and kid. I set it up on its charger.
· 1:30pm - My first YesStyle order comes in. I go through cycles where I won’t spend money for a month, then I just go crazy with online orders. It’s comprised of Japanese skincare and random face and makeup gadgets. I give them a test run, and my face seems to be getting softer as the day goes on but I could also be imagining it.
· 6:50pm - Dinner time cooked by MIL. I cringe on the inside when MIL talks about feeding Baby G the current fish we are eating, which happens to have lots of bones in it. Baby G will be her first grandchild so I know she's excited, but I also am headstrong and want to do things at my own pace and through my own methods.
· 7pm - new mommies group call, I talk about how my butt is getting so huge that I’ve had to size up 2 sizes in underwear.
· 8pm – I go back up to finish dinner. MIL talks to me about using her IRA for to self direct her funds for investing in buying rental homes. This is all new to me, so I ask a lot of questions. Still a bit confused when she explains that she will convert IRA company ownership to Roth IRA, She will probably have to explain this to me again a second (third, fourth, fifth) time, before I can fully absorb
· 9pm - I stay up too late binging Emily in Paris while FH watches football
Day 1 Total: $226
Day 2
· 4am - I wake up to my in-law’s Little Dog barking at the outside critters trying to steal our pumpkins from the porch
· 5am – Little Dog is barking
· 6am – Little Dog is barking
· 8am - FH gets up to play tennis but it's raining so he comes back
· 9am - I roll out of bed, cereal, and get to work
· 10am - I register at the hospital I will deliver at and sign up for a delivery introduction session
· 10:30am - The director on the current project I support just greenlit my idea for an incoming presentation. I am happy.
· 11am - I end up laying down because my back hurts, and contemplate purchasing a standing desk, but decide against it because my feet hurt more than my back usually.
· 1pm – It’s dumpling day for lunch! FH’s mom makes homemade dumplings in mass quantities for days when she doesn’t have a lot of time to cook lunch. I think her dumplings are delightful. She mentions we are getting low so I volunteer to help fold the next time she makes them.
· 5:30pm - I buy two maternity coats off facebook marketplace. I know this seems strange compared to my cashmere hat purchase from yesterday, but I know I can get 5+ years out of the hats (my oldest cashmere sweater at this point is 12 years old), but will likely wear these jackets for 5 months max, + maybe another 5 months if I have a second baby in the winter as well. $10
· 6:30pm - I hinch (read: clean) around the basement for a little bit with the new Shark wandvac
· 9pm FH and I watch Home Before Dark on Apple TV+ and head to bed at 11pm
Day 2 Total: $10
Day 3
· 9am roll out of bed, cereal, work
· 930am I’ve gotten through all my emails so I take a mini break to put on some eyeshadow. I am not a daily makeup wearer but 2 months ago I subbed to panporn and am now obsessed with the idea of panning some of my eyeshadow palettes. I’m still in my pajamas however.
· 11:30am I was extremely unproductive yesterday, and today we have a check-in meeting this afternoon so I am now finally crushing my work. My biggest weakness is that I am a procrastinator, but when I am up to a deadline, I always seem to pull through with really good work products that everyone generally seems to be happy with. Breaking the procrastination cycle seems impossible.
· 3:30 I periodically search for a particular single to double convertible stroller through google and second hand sites, and discover that Dillards is selling the double stroller for $100 cheaper than its single seat counterpart. I think the pricing is a mistake on Dillards part, as this brand almost never goes on sale, but I’m taking the chance of a cancellation for the discount. The in-laws wanted the stroller to be a gift to us, so it will be reimbursed. I'm pretty set on having 2 kids, so fingers crossed they are close enough in age that having a double stroller is still useful, but if not, I can sell the second seat on fb marketplace.
· 5pm We meet with an architect in the backyard to discuss her experience and things we are looking for in the home design process. Her quote is pretty standard compared to other architects we’ve interviewed, and we like her experience the best, so we ask her to give us a proposal.
· 7pm FH’s mom makes kimchi stew for dinner, which I really enjoy. I can be a picky eater at times so she has been experimenting with new dinner items for me to try. After dinner I clean the bathrooms in the basement but leave the showers for FH to clean since I can’t bend over very well anymore. After cleaning, I make myself a cheese snack of asiago and crackers. I really want some jam but can’t find any, so I attempt to eat my cheese snack with applesauce. Its absolutely horrible so I try to pawn the apple sauce off on Little Dog, who also hates it, so I make FH eat the rest. Apparently he doesn’t like apple sauce either even though he was the one who bought it, what!
· 9pm-11 Home Before Dark, sleep
Day 3 Total: $0
Day 4
· 9am roll out of bed, cereal, work
· 9:50am inspired by Sylvie from Emily in Paris, I watch a few YouTube videos on how to dress like a French woman as I get some work done. A few youtubers talk about simple beautiful accessories being one of the stand out characteristics, so I pull out a Nixon watch that I haven’t worn in probably 4 years, and then decide I need some simple earrings. I have a metal allergy so I need to go for gold or gold plated pieces. All of my gold plated jewelry is thrashed from over wear so I go Mejuri for some earrings. I love the mini hoops but I start to feel guilty looking at the prices so I close the site 10 minutes later.
· 10:50am I send my friend a picture of a vizcacha and we debate if this is what Pikachu was inspired from. We're pretty sure we've had this discussion before. I’m procrastinating on tackling a tough problem on my current project, so I take my firm's mandatory code of conduct training while I play in my makeup instead. I really like our compliance officer’s reference to the quote "trust is built in drops and lost in buckets" and index that in my mind for some project work I am supporting related to customer experience.
· 1pm lunch of assorted leftovers
· 330pm I get an email saying my saks order is here. There’s also a mystery amazon package for me, it’s a lotion set from my director, extremely thoughtful and will come in handy right away as its already dry in the mid-Atlantic. FH's beanie is too small but it fits me great so I’ll just keep it for myself since it was final sale. Also, break for popcorn snack! I bought a silicone popcorn popper a month ago and now just buy popcorn by the kernel. It’s panning out to be a really worthwhile purchase for the amount of popcorn that I eat.
· 4pm Today is payday and it’s also been 1 week since I transferred extra funds from my checking account to our HELOC, so I send the max weekly amount through Zelle. The more money we put into the HELOC now, the less interest we will pay. $3500
· 5pm I decide I really need to work out. I was in a good routine at the start of quarantine with Nike workouts but then I got pregnant a few months in, and all motivation was lost due to nausea and fatigue. I procrastinate for another 30 minutes then get to it. Normally this is $29/mo but I cancelled my membership 2 weeks ago because I wasn’t utilizing it enough and am now just finishing out my last month of membership. After my workout I take a bath using a bath bomb that I received as a gift from one of my girlfriends.
· 7pm Eat dinner of assorted leftovers and putz around until FH to finishes an online test for his grad school program.
· 9pm We watch Bobs Burgers until 1030, and I talk about wanting to eat everything I see in each commercial during the show. Little Dog wants to sleep with us tonight so I set up a pillow at my feet for him to rest on. He leaves about an hour later.
Day 4 Total: $3500
Day 5
· 845 roll out of bed, cereal, work
· Noon FH’s parents venmo me money for the stroller, and I transfer my total venmo balance to my bank. FH’s mom is already talking about putting little dog in the second seat when she takes Baby G for walks. Little Dog will never walk again when he is introduced to the stroller, he hates going on walks. I renew my audiobook loan on Emily Oster’s Cribsheet through Libby
· 1:50 Quick lunch of leftover fried rice and some ramen before I hop on a 2pm meeting. I am waiting on an empty conference line for 40 minutes. Apparently, I joined Wednesday’s conference line instead of today's, so I miss the meeting. That's really embarrassing, especially when I was prepared to meet and discuss some new content I created. I check in with the lead and he says no worries, I'll meet with them again on Monday
· 6pm We visit with Little Dog who is back from surgery for a benign tumor removal. He is looking very sad so he gets lots of pets from FH and me.
· 645pm I am sitting on the couch scrolling reddit and Baby G gives me a couple of swift hard kicks, which I am pleased about. I haven't felt some really hard kicks in a few days so I was getting a little worried. FH’s dad comes home with dinner from the restaurant where he helps out on the guys network. FH and I watch tv for the rest of the night.
Day 5 Total: $0
Day 6
· 730am - FH and I wakeup to get ready for tennis, but get stopped as we walk out the door by FH's dad saying they will be leaving to check on their rental properties and will take Little Dog. We insist that we will stay home to watch Little Dog while he recovers, so he doesn’t have to wear his cone of shame. Whenever little dog has to wear the cone he gets extremely sad. At first I thought they were being dramatic but he really does look so sad and refuses to walk around when he has to wear it.
· Noon – I order tacos and tortas from the local taco shop and drive over to pick them up. $29
· 4pm – I eat my left over torta and some extra butter popcorn as a special treat. This leads me to skipping dinner at the dismay of FH’s mom.
· 10pm – FH keeps talking about McDonald’s but we settle on leftovers and some cereal and then play Among Us with friends on zoom until Midnight.
Day 6 Total: $29
Day 7
· 8am FH and I wake up to get ready for tennis and head to the tennis courts. I'm a beginner so FH just runs drills with me. My forehand is atrocious but my backhand isn't too bad today. We try to rally but it doesn't go well since I can't run very fast or very well anymore due to the belly.
· 10:20am I check my phone as I am waiting for a friend to confirm plans later and see that we have a meeting with our labor and delivery hospital at 10:30. We race home to hop on a zoom call.· Noon – We head to a local sandwich shop, and FH pays. The medical world at large says pregnant ladies shouldn’t eat cold cuts but I’ve read that if you heat meat in the microwave till steaming, it should kill off listeria, so I do that and enjoy my sandwich.
· 1:30pm - I head to a bagel shop in DC for an everything bagel and cream cheese as well as a chai latte.. I know I just ate but I can't help myself, I love bagels. I meet my friend at the National Mall and walk around for 3 hours, enjoying the sunshine and conversation. We attempt to fly a kite near the Washington monument but a piece of the kite is missing, whoops. $13
· 530pm – FH’s mom asks if I could get us sandwich items for lunch this week and I am happy to oblige, I head to the grocery store to get assorted deli meats for lunch this week, plus a nice block of white cheddar and raspberry jam as a snack $50
· 630PM – Dinner is home made hot and sour soup which is think is lovely. I putter around after dinner waiting for FH to finish studying.
· 945PM We play Among Us on zoom with friends and head to sleep at 11:30
Day 7 total: $63
Food + Drink $91
Fun / Entertainment $0
Home + Health $0
Clothes + Beauty $236
Transport $0
Other HELOC $3500
Lastly, reflect on your diary!
Day 1 was a high spending day for me, with 2 out of the ordinary purchases however, the rest of the week was extremely low, so I would say this was a great week. Prior to purchasing our house, I was much less strict with my money. We actually did a 6-month assessment of all of our transactions before we started our home search, and found that outside of food and transportation to work, my biggest expenses were clothes, uber rides, and going out to eat and drink. As soon as we did that assessment and determined that we wanted to buy a home and do follow-on construction work, I stopped buying clothes completely. The pandemic also facilitated the change to completely eliminating uber rides and going out to eat and pretty early on in quarantine we also decided to get pregnant so we stopped drinking as well. I have started to buy some maternity clothes and baby gear out of necessity, but still feel I am making responsible decisions with my purchases. I feel EXTREMELY lucky that we had the opportunity to purchase our house and fund construction the way we are, as well as saving on additional costs by living with FH, so I am trying my best to be financially responsible and contribute as best I can while still giving in to small indulgences every once in a while.
Edit for maths and spelling
submitted by reddiketts to MoneyDiariesACTIVE [link] [comments]

I'm 24 years old, a Software Engineer, and a shopaholic in NYC

Income
Debt
No debt/student loans; extremely grateful to my parents who paid for my tuition. I also worked 15-20 hours a week in college to pay for rent/food/books, etc.
Monthly Expenses
Part Four: Weekly Diary
Day 1 - Wednesday
9:00AM- Wake up and get ready for work. I try to wake up at 8:30AM on most days, but I had a late-night yesterday in Brooklyn attending a Think Olio seminar with some friends about “The Fear of Leisure.” We ended up getting pho afterwards at this amazing place in Greenpoint and spent a while discussing the lecture and what it means to have a balanced lifestyle. I remember to Venmo her for the Uber there ($12), and pick out today’s outfit: Pinky-mauve high-neck chunky wool sweater, tucked into a pair of burgundy windowpane trousers (both from Aritzia), and a pair of platform patent wingtip oxfords from Zara.
10:10AM- Get a reminder email from Amazon that my eBook credit is expiring soon. I bought my Kindle Oasis last year on a whim from an Amazon Bookstore, and it’s my favorite purchase to date. It’s super lightweight, water-resistant, comfortable to hold, and I love taking it to read in cafes and also on flights. I purchase Bad Blood ($11, about the rise and fall of Elizabeth Holmes' captivating -scam- company Theranos).
12:00PM- I meet up with a friend for our monthly lunch in our favorite cafe. Usually I have lunch with my team (we have a lot of fun personalities in the team and our lunch topics are always entertaining), but it’s nice to switch it up sometimes. She shares some stories about the guy she’s dating who seems very sweet, which makes me really happy. (Company offers free breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, and coffee)
5:15PM- J and I leave work and take the train home. We stop by Whole Foods initially to get ingredients for pasta, but it’s too crowded and overwhelming so we head to Morton Williams instead. We pick up rigatoni, vodka sauce, eggplant, onion, french bread, and parmesan ($28 that J covers).
7:00PM- Done cooking dinner! I’ve made an effort to cook at home more this month, and I’ve been really enjoying it so far. I tend to favor Chinese dishes but today we were both craving pasta. We eat while watching an episode of a new anime we recently started (Gintama, recommended by my sister). J got me into anime when we started dating. It’s gotten more mainstream since then, but I never thought I’d love it as much as a I do now in the beginning.
7:45PM- Immediately after dinner, J surprises me with the new Switch Ring Fit Adventure game and sets it up for us to play. We saw an ad for it a few days ago and were really intrigued. According to the game, I “lightly jogged” for about 1 mile, did 36 squats, and 20 knee-to-chests. Would not recommend doing this with a full stomach :D but the adventure part of the game is awesome! Getting around is a lot similar to what I’d think Temple Run would be like in real life, for those who remember how fun and addicting that game was.
9:00PM- I paint my nails with OPI Bubble Bath after showering. Gel manicures are in my past (used to get them every 3-4 weeks), but ever since moving to NYC, the ~$45 after tip just didn’t seem worth it anymore. To all the gals who do their own nails at home-- SECHE VITE IS LIFE-CHANGING!!! I use their base and top coat and my manicure lasts me 2-3 weeks without chipping if I use OPI or Butter London polish.
10:00PM - This is when the shameful me comes out. I am pretty sure I have a shopping addiction. It’s very confusing in the sense that no, I’m not building credit card debt and still “reasonably living within my means,” but I realize the amount of money I spend on fashion is sickening. Growing up, my dad was extremely strict and didn’t allow me to wear makeup or buy clothes I wanted because he thought they would “distract me” from the more important things in life… mainly following the typical Asian-American life-track: excel in school and extracurricular activities, ace the SAT, get accepted to a prestigious college to study a lucrative major -> get a lucrative job. I resented him for taking away my freedom to do *anything* (couldn’t hang out with friends, date, go to prom, etc.), but I’ve come to terms with his parenting in a weird the-end-justifies-the-means” way. I am grateful to have this amount of financial privilege. But sometimes I feel like I’m making up for lost time. I’ve always loved makeup and fashion from sneak-watching videos on Youtube in between SAT practice tests. The 2010-ish Youtube era were full of girls who constantly uploaded videos of shopping hauls. I remember thinking how amazing it would be to be able to buy anything I wanted. Once I started working in college, that’s what I did. Now, living in NYC and following amazing Instagram fashion bloggers really eat up my self-control, but also constantly remind me of the years I wanted to feel fashionable and beautiful but couldn’t. This is a super long rant, and I know it does not justify me spending so much money on frivolous things, but… it is a problem for me, and I constantly feel guilty for wasting money I know I should be saving. The guilt and self-hatred is not enough to stop browsing and shopping, so the cycle continues. I purchase an Isabel Marant Etoile sweatshirt ( $140 on sale, but still not justified), and think about an adorable cozy LoveShackFancy cardigan which is... $495.
11:00PM- Browse some Youtube videos and head to bed.
Daily Total: $166
Day 2 - Thursday
10:20AM- Get to work later than I wanted. I haven’t felt motivated for the past week, especially when I’m not working on something coding-heavy (usually how I measure my productivity). I’m also feeling demoralized about work right now, because this week we got back performance reviews, and even though I finished a somewhat impactful project within 4 months of joining the company/team, I didn’t get the feedback that my manager said I would if I did.
11:10AM- My manager brings out this week bread from a bakery on Grand Street, and he says they gave him the wrong bread. It turned out to be the best! Raisins and walnuts yum.
12:00PM- Lunch! Today an engineer visiting another office joins us. I get bok choy, tofu, and eggplant from a cafe.
4:00PM- I get a message from a friend who recently moved to LA. Her boyfriend contacted a bunch of us last week to send in clips wishing her happy birthday, and she just received the video. I’m super happy that she loved it, and that she’s scheduled to come visit for a week next month!
6:00PM- Get off work and take the E train to Saks. I’m meeting up with my friend’s fiance to browse the fall/winter collections. This is my first time hanging out with her-- my friend mentioned that she’s also very into designer things and I always love companions to share my indulgent designer cravings :P To be honest, I’m hoping I won’t find anything that catches my eye because I already splurged on my “yearly treat” to myself on a vintage Cartier watch earlier this year when I got my new job, and I’m just constantly buying clothes too.
7:00PM- We browse around all the boutiques but didn’t find a bag that she loved. Then, we head up to the 8th floor for shoes (my fav) and… WOW I found the most amazing pair of Chanel boots. They’re gold, mid-height heeled combat-ish boots with the classic Chanel black cap-toe design. I made the mistake of trying them on and it took everything for me to not cave and purchase them. $1450 is steep for a pair of boots that I know will get scuffed and ruined so easily… but wow, they’re beautiful and the saleswoman was great at her job haha.
8:00PM- We grab some sushi at a restaurant nearby ($48) and chat about bags, her upcoming wedding, relationships, and work. I love getting to know new people, and felt like we got along really well.
10:00PM- My cat comes to cuddle with me on the couch, and I suspect it’s because I’m using his favorite blanket. We adopted him from an ASPCA truck two years ago, and it was the best decision ever. He has such a funny personality and always brightens our day. I start reading Ali Wong’s new book and head to bed after.
Daily Total: $48
Day 3 - Friday Hooray!
9:00AM- I had the weirdest dream yesterday… I think alien (?) attack, and then somehow I got out of a plane mid-air and they tried to rotate the plane to shake me off and I had to keep maneuvering clockwise around the wings to stay on the right side of gravity if that makes sense haha. But wow what an exhausting dream. Today I chose to wear a thick fuzzy black cardigan with gold stars over a white tee, high-rise straight leg denim, a black belt, and Golden Goose hi-stars.
11:40AM- Coffee/latte time. Usually I prefer oat milk, but I only really like Planet Oat’s extra creamy which not a lot of places use. I check my email and yay another item from my recent Thredup box has sold, and now I have a total of $40 credit from this box. I discovered Thredup when they started sponsoring a lot of Youtubers. I found out that they provide shipping labels for free, and it’s essentially the same as selling your clothes to Buffalo Exchange, but way less of a hassle. Granted they pay a lot less for each item, but these days I’m really lazy about listing my pieces on eBay/Poshmark/going into Buffalo Exchange, so sending clothes to sell at Thredup is the superior option over just donating stuff to a local Goodwill.
1:15PM- Late lunch today because I wasn’t hungry. Head to a cafe with a juice bar to get a mix of green juice and ginger shot, and grab a PB&J sandwich to go.
2:00PM- Work offers a lot of cool events, and today I’m signed up for a Japanese tea ceremony and tasting. I head down to attend with a friend, and I eat the best mochi I’ve ever had.
4:00PM- One of my teammates got his promotion!!! We’re all very excited for him and chat a bit about what he’s planning to do for celebration.
6:15PM- Leave work to take the train to Costco with J, my friend and his fiance C (my new friend hehe), who has a Costco membership! I haven’t been to Costco for almost two years so I’m super excited.
7:10PM- We eat dinner at Costco because it’s convenient and also just an insanely good deal. J and I combined get two slices of combo pizza, a chicken bake, a churro, and a diet Pepsi (Costco needs to get out of that partnership and get Coke instead, let’s be real), and the total was only $9.62!! (J pays). We eat in the food court, and talk about how J is the only one who really should be eating 1000+ calories since he runs daily.
8:30PM- Costco closes, and we finish shopping. J and I came mostly for entertainment, but we still managed to buy Alaskan cod, golden kiwi, an umbrella, chicken thighs ($10 for 10 lbs of chicken, crazy deal), salami, and contact solution. We uber back home after ($22, J pays). I venmo my friend who paid for everything with his Costco card ($76).
10:25PM- Finish shower and get ready for bed. I browse TJ Maxx (discount/outlet type store for designer brands), my biggest guilty pleasure. Their contemporary line is my favorite because sometimes they carry pieces from my favorite brands like La Maison Tullah, Vince, Theory, and recently Rebecca Taylor! They also regularly have OPI nail polishes for $4. I look through today’s new arrivals and spot this amazing pair of Joe’s lamb leather cropped bootcut pants. I have the Aritzia faux leather Daria leggings, but I’ve been on the hunt for a pair of genuine leather pants, and these are perfect and exactly what I’m looking for. In my cart, I already had this cute polka dot puff-sleeve sweater from Rebecca Taylor, but I move it to “Save-for-later” to make “room” for the pants. I purchase the pants and a faux leather headband with my TJ Maxx credit card which gives 5% cash back (through rewards) for purchases made within the TJX family ($192).
Daily Total: $268
Day 4 - Saturday
9:00AM- Wake up and start pack for spa day in New Jersey! I bring my Kindle, journal, and makeup and jewelry to put on later. I choose a DL1961 washed black denim jacket (that @somethingnavy/Arielle Charnas sold me on) to go over a flowy light blue patterned midi dress from last season Zara, and a pair of Golden Goose superstars to wear for the day.
10:00AM- Head out to New Jersey. Last week, I purchased admission tickets to a sauna + spa place in Jersey for J and me. J offered to rent a Zipcar for a whole day so we can drive there, and then to the Queen’s International Night Market which we’ve been meaning to go to this whole summer, and today’s its last day.
11:00AM- Get to the sauna and spa to check in. This business is relatively new, so the design felt very sleek and modern compared to more traditional spas. I signed up for a 30 minute full body scrub ($55, J treats), and wait for my appointment in a Japanese Herbal bath.
1:30PM- I grab a green juice and continue reading Ali Wong’s book in the cozy lounge area. I love feeling warm and zen ($6, J treats).
4:00PM- Leave the spa and browse in a huge supermarket that is right next to the spa. Suburban supermarkets are the best because they have the square footage to carry so much more variety than the ones in the city. We pick up some snacks and a huge bag of rice since we had the Zipcar ($53, J covers).
4:30PM- We head out to pick up our friends who live in Long Island City (and meet their cat!). It’s about an hour and 15 minute drive, but felt manageable as J and I talk about random topics. Traffic wasn’t as bad as we expected on a weekend, so that was a plus :)
6:30PM- Arrive at the Queen’s Night Market! It was a bit chilly at night, but the food was incredible and affordable. We got popcorn chicken, bubble tea, potato crisps, takoyaki, waffle-wrapped mochi, peking duck bao, and lamb skewers ($43).
8:30PM- It starts drizzling a little, and the four of us decide to go to Flushing for dessert. We drive and find parking, and I pay for the 2 hours of parking (praise Flushing: $4).
9:30PM- I share a green tea crepe cake and a lemongrass ginger carrot herbal tea with J, and our friends share fruit crepe tea and jasmine tea. The boys split the bill (J pays $20).
11:30PM- We return the Zipcar successfully! At home, I wind down and put on an Origins charcoal mask for some skin detox.
Daily Total: $47
Day 5 - Sunday
10:00AM- Wake up to the rain outside. I really love rainy/gloomy days; they have a calming effect on me, and make staying indoors extra cozy. I’m curled up on my couch with a soft blanket, watching the rain, and planning the day. Laundry needs to be done, which reminds me I have to stock up our laundry items. I order Tide Plus Bleach, fabric softener dryer sheets, and another fabric softener for pieces we hang dry from Target. I also throw in probiotic capsules to try them out, and a pack of 6 crew socks as the weather gets colder and I don’t want my ankles to freeze ($51).
10:15AM- Make an iced oat milk latte with the Planet Oat extra creamy (as mentioned before hehe it's the best), and a Vietnamese coffee mix. It’s delicious. I do some online browsing and find a gorgeous metallic bronze blazer which would be perfect for upcoming holiday parties, but I resist successfully whew. I also bookmark a Chinti and Parker sweater with a fun rainbow print to consider for later…
11:05AM- I head down the hall to the laundry room on our floor and start two loads. It's $3.60 total, but we have a prepaid card for laundry. J tells me he can take care of the drying cycle and folding since I'm going out later. I guess this is an appropriate time to talk about how amazing J is! We've been dating for a little over three years now, and he's been the most caring, thoughtful, funny and kind boyfriend I've ever had. He's always looking out for ways to make me comfortable and happy (biggest example is when he refills my water bottle at home without me asking... idk what to tell you, I drink a lot of water haha, and also just taking care of a lot of household tasks too-- especially cleaning the litter box!). He makes me feel so loved, and I cherish our relationship so much. I know without a doubt that he's "my person." :)
1:00PM- I love wearing bright colors on gloomy days, so I chuck on a chunky yellow high neck mohair sweater from Zara and a pair of Levi’s wedgie icon denim. I meet a friend to check out the newly opened Nordstrom near Columbus Circle. She got a promotion this week, and wanted to treat herself to some nice boots. Before we meet up, I pick out a maple coconut donut from the ultra-cute Nordstrom food court to congratulate her with ($3). Shopping was a success! I find her a pair of Acne Jensen dupes (the Marc Fisher Yale booties), and also AGL pointed suede block heel booties. Both look amazing on her, but she decides to only get the lower heel Marc Fisher ones for now, since the AGL ones are higher and tighter on the heel which we agreed would look good with straight leg denim, a style that she doesn’t yet own. We also saw some CDG Converse high-tops that are sold out everywhere, so I had to get them ($146)! We head upstairs to look at denim and I also successfully found her a pair of Reformation straight leg denim that look awesome on her, and AGOLDE Riley jeans, my favorite. She loves them both and splurges, and I feel very accomplished as a crazy shopping-enthusiast/enabler :P.
3:15PM- We head out to meet two other friends to see Hustlers! I’ve been wanting to see it for a while, so I’m super excited. J. Lo and Constance Wu?! I still remember when movie tickets were $8… not anymore ($18)! We split the largest bucket of popcorn which was delicious ($3).
5:30PM- Hustlers was such a fun watch, and we see an advertisement for Parasite as we head down to the lobby, which I recommend everyone to see as well. I love movies, and I probably should sign up for the AMC Stubs A-List… Anyway, we decide to go to Bibble and Sip to hang out for a bit longer, and I get a Matcha Jasmine latte, and an earl grey chocolate chip cookie for everyone to share ($9).
6:00PM- I start heading home and call J if he wanted me to pick up anything for dinner. Usually I cook on Sunday nights, but this weekend has been super busy (but full of adventures!). He’s craving McDonalds so I pickup a Quarter Pounder and 20 pieces McNuggets for him ($16 but who remembers when 20 piece was only $5).
6:30PM- I get home, and J has finished building the new coffee table from Wayfair that I purchased last week! It’s one that can lift up to table-height, and it's already so much more amazing than the one we currently have from West Elm, which is super aesthetic but completely non-functional. I think this new table fits in our space a lot better as well, especially since the color of the wood and metal structured legs match our CB2 bookshelf perfectly. I’ve been really impressed with Wayfair pieces, and also purchased a rug from them before. I eat some nuggets with J as we watch another episode of Gintama.
8:00PM- I watch some Youtube videos and talk with J as he packs a duffle bag for his business trip to California this week.
Daily Total: $246
Day 6 - Monday
8:15AM- Wake up, and finally back on my regular schedule. I peel and slice a huge korean pear that J and I got on Saturday from the supermarket in Jersey for J and myself (it’s delicious). I get ready for work and put on yet another chunky knit, straight leg denim, and glittery bronze Aquazzura pointed-toe mules that make my heart sing. J and I take the train together, as he’s leaving to JFK later from work for his trip.
9:30AM- Grab my usual soy latte and fill up my 30oz Yeti mug with warm water. I try to drink two of those throughout the work day. As I catch up on emails, I found out a team that I did some work for last week thanked me for a “speedy investigation and implementation.” This really makes my day, and motivates me to work hard this week.
11:00AM- Officially the start of my oncall rotation this week. Being “oncall” is essentially getting paged whenever there’s an issue regarding our services that gets escalated through auto-monitoring. Last time I was oncall, I got a page around 1:30AM on a Saturday which I responded to and investigated/addressed the issue. At my previous company, we were expected to be oncall all the time, and weren’t paid for it, so this weekly rotation schedule + compensation for the 24/7 monitoring is pretty good to me.
11:50AM- Lunch with my team. I make a salad with spinach, roasted carrots, sweet potato, and cucumbers. We chat about our weekends and our coworker’s upcoming wedding which we’re all invited to. After lunch, we head down a few floors to grab coffee/juice. I get a green juice (celery, kale, swiss chard, cucumber), with a dash of the “spooky ginger shot” (cranberry juice, ginger, apple cider).
12:40PM- I suddenly remembered that the bundle of dance classes I bought last month were expiring on the 31st and I still had one left, so I book a contemporary class for 7:30PM tomorrow after work. So excited!
6:40PM- Oops still at work. This afternoon I got swamped with so much work, some related to being oncall AKA becoming the “go-to person” for any issue/question, and some from my manager who I had a 1:1 with earlier and thinks I’m ready to take on more responsibilities.
7:10PM- I wrap up, grab some food (salad again) from work, and head home!
7:40PM- Finally get home, feed my cat, take off my makeup, and eat while watching The Mindy Project.
10:00PM- Video chat my grandma. I’m really close to my grandparents because I spent more of my childhood with them than I did with my parents. I feel bad because once I went to college and then started working, I contacted them less and less… I just want to make the most of our time left together.
Daily Total: $0
Day 7 - Tuesday
8:00AM- Wake up and watch the newly uploaded Sheerluxe (UK online fashion/lifestyle magazine that also makes Youtube videos) show. They are discussing event-wear in this episode, which reminds me I still need to pick out outfits for the two holiday work parties J and I have. I fall in love with what Katie Holmes wore to the Nordstrom Party: a black Saint Laurent ruched silk mini dress paired with sheer polka dot tights and black pointed pumps, and decide to order a pair of sheer polka dot tights from Nordstrom ($40).
9:15AM- Get to work and feel a little overwhelmed with all the things I need to work on, but I'm feeling extra motivated because I like being productive. I grab my soy latte, fill my Yeti mug with water, and start the day.
11:35AM- My team want to go to lunch earlier today but since I’m not hungry and have a lot to do, I skip out and think I’ll just grab something small later.
2:00PM- I went too late for green juice, so I got a smoothie instead with almond milk, spinach, and a banana. I also make a quick salad to-go.
5:40PM- Early dinner with a friend. We get in line for burrito bowls; I get spinach, chicken, and pico de gallo, and then get back to work.
7:15PM- I should be heading out to make it to my dance class, but I really want to stay and try to figure out a production rollout issue… I decide to stay at work and just forfeit the credit.
8:00PM- Ok, this week has not been a good work-life balance. It’s definitely also because J is away, and he usually reminds me to take breaks, and leave work at a regular hour. There’s just an endless amount of things to do at work, and I like getting things done.
9:00PM- I start The Politician on Netflix! What an interesting show… I watched Dear Evan Hansen with my mom and sister last year, and I love seeing Ben Platt and Laura Dreyfuss playing completely different roles. As I watch, I browse Leandra Medine + Mango collaboration, and consider a sweater. The colors make me really happy, but I know I need to buy a dress for the holiday party soon, so I resist.
Daily Total: $40
Weekly Total: $815
Reflection
This was overall a normal week for me, with the exception of going out shopping with friends twice! I usually do most of my shopping online, and this week I tagged along with friends who were looking for specific things. The CDG converse were definitely an impulse purchase, but they are so comfortable and cute so... no regrets :P. I am aware I need to reign in my shopping habits, and stop mindlessly online browsing so often, because I know I will always find something I like. I haven't read many diaries that capture buying clothes/shoes on the regular, and feel like I would get ripped to shreds if I posted this on R29 for wasting money so here I am. :D
Also!!! So exciting to see so many women in tech on this sub! I just read the diary of the SWE in seattle, and Ohio diarist going through coding bootcamp :D
submitted by cafeolympia to MoneyDiariesACTIVE [link] [comments]

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What to wear to a wedding that's not your own (with FAQ)

Since wedding season is upon us again, I thought I'd take a moment to compile (and also solicit) FFA's most frequently given advice on wedding attire, and answer some questions that are often asked by those seeking advice.
About a year ago NoodlyGoodness posted a very helpful Wedding Guest Guide. This post is intended to supplement that with additional practical and explicit suggestions.
Your Job as a Wedding Guest
Assuming you are not in the wedding party (in which case you have a different role to play on this Special Day), the things you should be looking to achieve with your outfit are probably the following:
The following advice takes as an assumption that those are your goals.
Understanding Dress Codes
If your hosts have been helpful enough to mention the intended dress code for their wedding, your outfit selection should start there. If the invitation doesn't specify a dress code, it is completely ok to just ask the couple (or someone in the wedding party) what the dress code is. They'll be happy to tell you, especially if the dress code they're expecting is a very specific one.
Below are some of the most common event dress codes and what they mean:
What if there's no stated dress code, or the dress code given makes no sense to you (e.g. "Mississippi cocktail attire" or "festive Muppet chic")? Here are some contextual hints you can use to help you guess the formality level. These are not foolproof rules, but should be taken into consideration along with all other known factors:
Finally, if any part of the wedding takes place in a house of worship, you will want to be prepared with something to cover your shoulders (and possibly a lower hemline) while you are there.
Shapes, Fabrics and Colors
Remember that formality is a spectrum with many more settings than the four categories listed above. Shape, fabric and color are the main elements of a dress you can play with to either determine which dress code it falls under, or nudge it either up or down in formality within a dress code.
Shapes:
Fabrics:
I've listed a few example fabrics here in roughly descending order of formality:
The fabric a dress is made of is one of the largest determining factors in its perceived formality level, however it is by no means the only decisive factor. It is useful to think of fabric choice as a dial that can be turned up or down to make any given style of dress appear incrementally more or less formal.
Colors:
Mainly up to you, but here are some things to keep in mind:
Where to Shop
Even if you don't actually purchase from the retailers below, browsing these sites and stores should give you a wealth of examples of the type of thing you're looking for elsewhere...
For black tie or formal weddings:
For formal weddings:
For semiformal weddings:
For semiformal or casual weddings after which you want to re-wear your dress to work:
Regional and Cultural Considerations
On Chinese weddings, via teamwafflecake:
For more traditional Chinese weddings, i.e., where the bride is wearing a red cheongsam/qipao, it'd be advisable not to wear red to avoid the "stealing the spotlight from the bride" faux-pas. Ditto for a less traditional Chinese wedding (i.e., one where the bride shows up in a white wedding dress) because there might be a Chinese elder who's going to think that's impolite and/or a chance the bride will change into a red cheongsam during the dinnebanquet.
On South Asian weddings, via hipsterhijabi:
Tips for South Asian Weddings: Don't wear red, as that is a traditional colour for the bride to wear. Even if she's not, it'll be generally frowned upon. Don't put your dupatta (the long scarf that comes with a traditional suit) on your head! Unless you wear a hijab and are wearing it AS A HIJAB- but don't place it simply on your head. That is a bridal style. Avoid wearing anything with overly heavy handwork on it, or with too much good work. Avoid wearing a heavy lehnga (skirt). Opt for churidar, kameez or trouser style. avoid putting henna on your feet or past your wrists as that is a purely bridal style.
On Black Tie after 6, via servemethesky:
One thing that may be worth noting is in certain areas (namely, the south), the time of the reception is actually a cue to dress code. I can't remember the precise cut off now, but for some people, a 7 or 8pm reception is supposed to implicitly suggest black tie, even if it's not stated on the invitation.
On Black Tie and White Tie in the UK, via. LadyFrog:
Just a comment about black tie for women - as someone who goes to a lot of black tie events I find the rules in practice (in the UK at least) are slightly different from your interpretation. For women it is essentially cocktail dresses and sparkly jewellery. Floor length is not out of place but would more normally be worn to a black tie ball rather than a dinner event.
If you were wearing floor length, furs and elbow length gloves that is white tie which is very different! Essentially white tie dictates floor length for girls and for guys top hat and tails. It's rarely used as a dress code these days except for some of the larger Oxbridge balls (and presumably other occasions) which is why people sometimes conflate the two dress codes.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Do I need to dress in the color scheme of the wedding?
No, not unless you're in the ceremony. If you know that the wedding has "theme" colors, feel free to coordinate subtly if you really want to, but do not wear the actual same dress as the bridesmaids if you can help it. Otherwise let the season, time of day and personal preference be your guide.
Can I wear pants to a wedding?
Yes, but: if you are going to wear pants, you will still need to adhere to the stated or implied formality level or dress code. And if you are new to this or unsure, you may find it very challenging to choose a pants-based outfit that does that effectively. For example, for a formal or black tie wedding you would likely need to wear something similar to a suit or tuxedo. For a semiformal wedding you would want to wear a suit or something on the very high end of business casual. For a casual wedding, business casual as defined in the FFA guide could work.
Do I have to wear heels?
No, but: if you are going to wear flats, you will still need to adhere to the stated or implied formality level or dress code. Taking away the heel from a shoe knocks it down a notch in formality, so you will need to use other factors (like materials, toe shape and color) to compensate for that to the degree necessary. Also keep in mind that depending on your body proportions and preferred silhouette, wearing flats will change the way the rest of your outfit looks and possibly how flattering you find it.
Can I wear white to a wedding?
No. Traditionally (in the US) it is seen as very rude for anyone other than the bride to be wearing white. Even if you don't think the bride will care, chances are there will be someone there who does. Avoid confrontations and awkward whispers by just not wearing white.
What about ivory? Cream? Beige? Champagne?
I'm not going to tell you this has never been done appropriately before, but wouldn't you rather not risk it? These colors read as white in certain lighting, in photos and from a distance - and it's not like someone who's extremely offended by your color choice is going to be suddenly mollified upon realizing that actually, it's a DOVE GREY dress when you explain that to them. Aim for an outfit that needs no explaining.
What if there is white included in a print on my dress?
Use your best judgment with regard to whether the dress looks white from far away, and if in doubt, don't wear it. Keep in mind that dresses with a white bodice, or a white shrug/shawl/jacket on top will look like a white dress when you are sitting down.
Can I wear black to a wedding?
Maybe. Traditionally, black is thought to indicate that you are in mourning or wish the couple ill, however in recent years this connotation has weakened somewhat (and many wedding parties now wear black themselves). Your best bet for wearing black will be if the wedding is higher on the formality spectrum, taking place in the evening or in winter, and accessorized with some bold or sparkly details or accessories. If you are unsure about wearing black, opt for navy or grey instead.
Can I wear red to a wedding?
Maybe. See Regional and Cultural Considerations above. Your best bet for pulling off red will be at a very casual, non-traditional wedding. If you are unsure about wearing red, opt for pink or orange instead.
But I went to a wedding once where everyone wore flip flops and muscle tanks! Surely that must be okay?
That sounds very fun! This guide is not intended as a comprehensive description of everything that anyone has ever gotten away with wearing to a wedding. Presumably if your hosts wanted you to wear flip flops and muscle tanks, they would let you know... and if you were comfortable wearing those things regardless of the hosts' instructions, you probably wouldn't be asking for advice here.
Is something missing from this post? Please let me know, and I'll continue to update. Right now this is heavily, heavily slanted toward weddings in the United States that are not very religious. I'd be happy to include considerations for specific religious customs or other countries if anyone would like to chime in with their expertise in those areas.
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good online prom dress stores uk video

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